sveltskye Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I've been feeling a certain way for a while, but it was pretty bad today. Its hard to describe. I didn't date for a long time, til my early 20s. Back then I felt like I had a lot to look forward to and I really felt like I... believed in love. I felt like I had something to look forward to and believed in this standard of true love, like there was something so incredibly meaningful out there. Now I feel differently. I'm sleeping with this guy and he isn't really doing anything else with me, but I am still seeing him because I feel like, its hard to describe, but I feel kind of cursed. I know I should either demand more or break it off, but I'm so tired of moving on to the next guy who doesn't appreciate me that I just don't want to. I'm so tired of trying with this whole thing. Other than that I'm pretty happy with my life, I have a lot of ambitions and am working on projects and have good family and friends. I just kind of feel like the dating scene has beat me down. Its not that I'm bitter or resentful toward anyone in particular, I mean for the most part, but I just feel like I'm so tired and have trouble believing that there's anything better out there. My parents have a great relationship, and I know there can be wonderful relationships from their wonderful example, but I've gone through so many guys just writing me off for no reason, I feel like none of the guys I've ever met really believed it could work or wanted it to work with me at least. I have never broken up with anyone, or rejected anyone, always vice versa. I'm not standardless, I do reject people before I date them, but I always really appreciate someone I date and try and believe it can work. I was so in love w/ my first boyfriend, and when he broke up with me, I really thought we would be together forever. I feel like in the process of getting over him, something about me broke. Like I had to let go of that hope that love could be forever and mean something. I don't know what else to say, I just feel so tired. Does this make sense? Has anybody felt this way before? I know I'm a little depressed right now, and I'm not always, but this is a feeling I've felt for a long time.
Rose81 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I feel that way too. I'm tired of breaking up and then meeting someone else and getting excited about a new relationship, but I am eternally hopeful. I think the main thing for me is to not sleep with a guy right away because once I do, I'm stuck. I think once a guy has you they lose the passion. I'm still lamenting the first time I made out with my ex boyfriend. It was so passionate...but it was all down hill after that, probably because we weren't really in love.
Beautiful Inside Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 i know this is how i will feel if my bf ever breaks it off with me.... i couldn't imagine having to "start all over" with someone knew and im only 24 its not like im old its just the process of putting yourself out there again meeting someone and opening up to them and opening your heart up to them and its just too much i don't know if id want to be in another relationship of it doesn't work out between us
Ruby Slippers Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I have been having a hard time staying motivated lately. I ended my fourth serious relationship six months ago and took a single year, and when it comes to men, I am definitely fighting feelings of cynicism. I always used to think I'd find that great love to share all the joy of life with, but after a string of failures, I am beginning to doubt that, really for the first time ever. I had a lot of love in those relationships (they all talked about wanting to get married), but ultimately I didn't think we were compatible. I am trying to be happy on my own. It's never been hard to do in the past -- I'm not exactly sure why it's harder now. But I know that no matter what, a positive attitude will get me a lot further than cynicism and doubt. I am making the most of this time, by developing my friendships, working on my business, and getting into great physical condition. The best advice I can give you right now is to stop the casual sex relationship. It doesn't sound like it's fulfilling you or making you feel good about things. I believe you only make room for the good stuff when you clear out the clutter.
Author sveltskye Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Thanks for the commiseration guys. I know I should probably stop the casual thing, but its hard cause I feel so pessimistic about having something better to look forward to. And I really want it to be more. I'm trying to just stop any kind of situation where we can only sleep together- until we do something else, I'm not sleeping with him again. My friend and I were just talking and we were wondering why we've had such rotten luck with guys. We are attractive, successful and motivated and *nice* and yet guys just kind of blow us off a lot. I'm just tired of trying and putting energy into getting to know someone just to have them crap out on me for no discernable reason. The guys around my area I've met anyways just can't seem to figure out what they want.
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