hopesndreams Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 tired03 I would posit that upon finding yourself missing that person *it's already too late* It is never too late to do the right thing. Even after "crossing the line". Remorse and confession are good for the soul, but many continue on, justifying their actions, deceiving those that love them so they can continue to have "good" feelings. It's selfish. Sometimes it's because needs weren't being met in a marriage and they didn't know they had those needs until they met this other person. I agree with this somewhat but once they recognize this is happening, which they eventually do, they should STOP, but sadly, many don't, then continue to betray the person that loves them.
Tired03 Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 I would posit that upon finding yourself missing that person *it's already too late* It is never too late to do the right thing. Even after "crossing the line". Remorse and confession are good for the soul, but many continue on, justifying their actions, deceiving those that love them so they can continue to have "good" feelings. It's selfish. Oh, I agree with that, on some level. But when I say "it's already too late" what I mean is that they are already in the fog. Once they get in the fog, it takes a lot to shake them out of it. I've been in a fog of a different sort (due to an abusive relationship) and it takes a long time to get ones head "straight". Sometimes it's because needs weren't being met in a marriage and they didn't know they had those needs until they met this other person. I agree with this somewhat but once they recognize this is happening, which they eventually do, they should STOP, but sadly, many don't, then continue to betray the person that loves them. The people in my experience (that I am friends with), once they realize this, either have stopped or ended their marriages. Some of them had to go to counseling to come to the realization. Some of them stopped the A, but realized what they were missing. Some of them figured it out more quickly (e.g. were more in tune with their own needs). Conflict avoiders typically came to it a lot more slowly. Good conversation
Recommended Posts