Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 When I found out my xW cheated, I thought about pushing her buttons and calling her a cheating wh0re, among other things, in hopes that she would hit me. Then I would look at her and say, "oh thank you!", then call the cops. and she was smarter.. she didn't touch you..
Reggie Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 and she was smarter.. she didn't touch you.. I believe he said he "thought" about it.:bunny:
Dexter Morgan Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 and she was smarter.. she didn't touch you.. Yup, she was smart alright....she moved in with the OM who beat her within a couple months. Yup, smart alright:o 1
Dexter Morgan Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I believe he said he "thought" about it.:bunny: she did miss that didn't she? tried to stab at this old x-BS and ended up making herself look like a dip
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Yup, she was smart alright....she moved in with the OM who beat her within a couple months. Yup, smart alright:o Oh well.... life sucks..
Dexter Morgan Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Oh well.... life sucks.. Sure does...and she is finding that out in spades.
Owl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 My wife was horribly afraid for OM on d-day. She called him that morning and BEGGED him to be careful...he laughed it all off...said he "could take care of himself". My wife wasn't worried about me showing up and picking a fight with him, which is what he apparently expected. My wife was worried that he'd simply go missing. Maybebits and pieces would be found...but not likely. Odds are, either I would have been gone for a short time and OM would have gone missing...or he'd have been out in public and jumped by a couple of guys who drug him off never to be seen again. Had I decided to take action against OM, it would have been fast, quiet, and permanent. I did lose my temper while "discussing" this all with my wife that same afternoon. She sat there calmly, completely unafraid (rightfully so) while I completely destroyed our back yard. My gas grill, picnic table set, etc... All done by hand mind you... She knew that I was angry and hurt, but wouldn't touch her. And as long as OM remained out of physical proximity, he was probably going to be ok too. It took a while for me to get myself completely in check...but anymore, I couldn't possibly care less about him as long as he remains out of my life. Now...all bets are off if he ever attempts to resume contact with my wife again.
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 My wife was horribly afraid for OM on d-day. She called him that morning and BEGGED him to be careful...he laughed it all off...said he "could take care of himself". My wife wasn't worried about me showing up and picking a fight with him, which is what he apparently expected. My wife was worried that he'd simply go missing. Maybebits and pieces would be found...but not likely. Odds are, either I would have been gone for a short time and OM would have gone missing...or he'd have been out in public and jumped by a couple of guys who drug him off never to be seen again. Had I decided to take action against OM, it would have been fast, quiet, and permanent. I did lose my temper while "discussing" this all with my wife that same afternoon. She sat there calmly, completely unafraid (rightfully so) while I completely destroyed our back yard. My gas grill, picnic table set, etc... All done by hand mind you... She knew that I was angry and hurt, but wouldn't touch her. And as long as OM remained out of physical proximity, he was probably going to be ok too. It took a while for me to get myself completely in check...but anymore, I couldn't possibly care less about him as long as he remains out of my life. Now...all bets are off if he ever attempts to resume contact with my wife again. She was afraid HE would get hurt... but couldn't care less if YOU got hurt.. Are you still with this woman?
Owl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Unless you want to spend some time in jail.. I think you should just refrain from being violent.. Violence is never a solution.. First.. why would you be violent against the OM|OW.. they don't owe you anything.. they haven't done anything to you.. If you need to be mad at one person ..it's your partner.. Well...I guess that could work two ways if you give it some thought tho. If OM doesn't "owe" anything to anyone, I guess that would mean that I could have the same complete lack of respect or care about the damage done to them if I ran them over with my car, right? Hey...not my fault he got hurt because he happened to be in the same place I was driving, right? Just as equally as he's not to blame for getting involved with a married woman. I might "owe" my wife the chance to reconcile with me if I so choose...but I wouldn't "owe" OM any kind of "chance" at all, either. Right?
Owl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 She was afraid HE would get hurt... but couldn't care less if YOU got hurt.. Are you still with this woman? Oh trust me...she wasn't the LEAST bit concerned about me getting hurt by him. Not at all. She's well aware of where I've been, what I've gone through in my life. OM wasn't ANY kind of threat...he'd have never had the slightest opportunity to fight back if I'd gone after him. I wouldn't have walked up to him and asked him to fight, or something equally silly. He'd have never seen anything coming. He'd have stood not a whit of a chance. And she KNEW that...hence her fear for him, not for me.
2sure Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 You know , I really dont want to go there again but.... When I told my H that I was going to contact OW (s) H /SO one of the first things he said was "Now, I'm going to have to worry about some guy coming after me?" I'm pretty sure thats when I attacked him.
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Oh trust me...she wasn't the LEAST bit concerned about me getting hurt by him. Not at all. She's well aware of where I've been, what I've gone through in my life. OM wasn't ANY kind of threat...he'd have never had the slightest opportunity to fight back if I'd gone after him. I wouldn't have walked up to him and asked him to fight, or something equally silly. He'd have never seen anything coming. He'd have stood not a whit of a chance. And she KNEW that...hence her fear for him, not for me. Oh..so if I understand.. you would cowardly had it done by someone else..
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Well...I guess that could work two ways if you give it some thought tho. If OM doesn't "owe" anything to anyone, I guess that would mean that I could have the same complete lack of respect or care about the damage done to them if I ran them over with my car, right? Hey...not my fault he got hurt because he happened to be in the same place I was driving, right? Just as equally as he's not to blame for getting involved with a married woman. I might "owe" my wife the chance to reconcile with me if I so choose...but I wouldn't "owe" OM any kind of "chance" at all, either. Right? See.. that's what I find sad about BS.. they get it all wrong.. it's not the OP you need to be angry at.. it's your own partner.
Owl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 ROFLMBO!!! Cowardly!!! That is HILARIOUS!!! Was it cowardly for him to PRETEND to be my friend while he was consistenly wooing my wife away? Would you call it cowardice or prudence on his part to LIE to me when I asked him point blank if there was anything going on between him and my wife? So would it have been cowardice or prudence on my part to handle this in the exact same fashion as I'd been doing for a living for 15 years of my life prior to this situation? You crack me up...you'll argue til your dead that it's fine to sleep with any guy who'll pay you for it (that meets whatever other criteria you set up during your "sessions")...but then call this cowardice.
Owl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 See.. that's what I find sad about BS.. they get it all wrong.. it's not the OP you need to be angry at.. it's your own partner. Well, we'd find it equally amazing if you "got it right". You're right...no woman in the world in her right mind should be upset with you for accepting money/gifts from her husband so that he can sleep with you. It's not YOUR fault at all, right?
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Was it cowardly for him to PRETEND to be my friend while he was consistenly wooing my wife away? Would you call it cowardice or prudence on his part to LIE to me when I asked him point blank if there was anything going on between him and my wife? Huh??? where was she? you talk like she had nothing to do with it..
Owl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 You're missing the point, deliberately I'm sure. I never said I didn't blame her...not at all. I do fully blame her for her role and choice to cheat. Make no mistake about it...in order for us to EVER consider reconciliation, she had to take full and complete responsibility for her choice to do this. She wasn't blameless. But don't confuse HER guilt with HIS. That's what you're deliberately avoiding here, Lizzie. HE IS GUILTY AS WELL. JUST AS YOU ARE. But in order for you to "see" his guilt, you'd have to see your own as well...so there's no way that you'd EVER agree to this...you'd have to face your own guilt as well. So for you, the OW/OM will always be completely blameless in an affair.
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 You're missing the point, deliberately I'm sure. I never said I didn't blame her...not at all. I do fully blame her for her role and choice to cheat. Make no mistake about it...in order for us to EVER consider reconciliation, she had to take full and complete responsibility for her choice to do this. She wasn't blameless. But don't confuse HER guilt with HIS. That's what you're deliberately avoiding here, Lizzie. HE IS GUILTY AS WELL. JUST AS YOU ARE. But in order for you to "see" his guilt, you'd have to see your own as well...so there's no way that you'd EVER agree to this...you'd have to face your own guilt as well. So for you, the OW/OM will always be completely blameless in an affair. You got that right..
Owl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 You got that right.. See...we can agree on something at least! :)
Owl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Following that same logic, then a drug dealer isn't to blame for kids that die or have their lives ruined because of the product he sells. It's not HIS fault they bought it. It's completely and totally THEIRS. The comparison here is VERY sound, btw. Lizzie, you say that it's not YOUR fault because men come and buy your..."product". It's theirs. A drug dealer could say the exact same thing.
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Following that same logic, then a drug dealer isn't to blame for kids that die or have their lives ruined because of the product he sells. It's not HIS fault they bought it. It's completely and totally THEIRS. The comparison here is VERY sound, btw. Lizzie, you say that it's not YOUR fault because men come and buy your..."product". It's theirs. A drug dealer could say the exact same thing. I don't deal with KIDS.. I deal with adults who can take a sound decision.
Owl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I don't deal with KIDS.. I deal with adults who can take a sound decision. OK...so a drug dealer isn't at all responsible for the damage done to adults who have lives destroyed using his product? Or is he totally blameless? Take the kid factor out.
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 OK...so a drug dealer isn't at all responsible for the damage done to adults who have lives destroyed using his product? Or is he totally blameless? Take the kid factor out. He isn't to blame if he's selling to adults ... do you blame the convenience stores who sell cigarettes.. the liquor stores who sell alcohol...
Reggie Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I cannot conceive of an OW or OM feeling that he or she has not participated in wronging the BS. On second thought, based on what i read in the OM/OW forum, I guess I could conceive of this bizzare thought pattern. But, really, what rational person participating in a conspiracy that hurts others feels no responsibility. This is absurd. That said, violence is not the answer, although the urge is sometimes strong. These folks are not worth risking injury or incarceration.
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I cannot conceive of an OW or OM feeling that he or she has not participated in wronging the BS. On second thought, based on what i read in the OM/OW forum, I guess I could conceive of this bizzare thought pattern. But, really, what rational person participating in a conspiracy that hurts others feels no responsibility. This is absurd. That said, violence is not the answer, although the urge is sometimes strong. These folks are not worth risking injury or incarceration. It's about selfishness. If there's personal gain, you'll find more than enough people who solely believe in their self-given right to get whatever they want, regardless of expense to anyone else. In this, best to avoid people with this kind of mentality.
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