Heroic Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I have no idea how any of you after discovering an affair did not commit serious acts of violence against the OM/OW. How did you not do this? Explain please.....
hopesndreams Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I'm not a violent person by nature, I think with my head not my fists, not by a weapon (matches and gasoline) My full concentration, when I first found out about her, was my husband. He was my focus. Now that my marriage is down the tubes, yeah, I think about her, but it's too late now and she's welcome to him.
Athena Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I rightfully put the blame on H, not on OW... anyway even if I had, I would be very, very busy hunting them all down, ha ha ha... especially since every single one of them was in a different country to where we live! Expense?! lol
mark982 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 you really don't wanna know.lets just say in my younger years i was "very" hot headed.it involves a ruger 357,and the barrel touching this tonsils.THANK GOD i didn't pull the trigger.
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I just laughed because the situation basically resolved itself when the guy she cheated on me, turned around and cheated on her. Why hurt myself in the process by killing homie when my life could be better without her. I'm kinda glad she left, because karma hit her quick!!!
bentnotbroken Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I can be violent. In my younger years very violent. So it took a lot of prayer by friends and family and begging God to control my anger and pain. I looked at my kids and decided that they had one azz for a parent, they didn't need two. They had lost one parent, they didn't need to lose too. And I felt sorry for the ow's family(not her)just her family. If I hurt her, it would affect her children. They were already affected enough. God is good all the time.
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 While I understand where you're coming from OP, you can't solely lay the blame on the OW/OM. It takes two to tango so if you wanted to commit physical violence, it should be on both the MM/MW and the OW/OM. On the otherhand, violence never solves anything...unless it's permanent.
bentnotbroken Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I would say that Mr. Messy did receive a kick to the pebbles and son smacked him for something he said offensive to me. It wasn't all I thought he deserved, but what he is getting now more than makes up for me not doing anything else.
Princess07 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 When I found out my girlfriend cheated on me I lost it and went crazy. After fighting for a while the police were called.
suemaya786 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 It's not in my nature either. The day after D day I drove my H to meet with the OW (yes the hard faced bi*ch agreed to meet) she sat in the back of the car he wasin the front with me. Not once did it occur to me to lay a finger on her (shock I suppose) now, 16 months on I'd love to see her again......to rip her face off! And to hell with the consequenses! The reason for this may be that I've learned much more about her from my H, we are still trying to repair our M, often seems like an up hill struggle.
hopesndreams Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 While I understand where you're coming from OP, you can't solely lay the blame on the OW/OM. I understand that but the thread is directed toward OW/OM.
Athena Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I would say that Mr. Messy did receive a kick to the pebbles and son smacked him for something he said offensive to me. It wasn't all I thought he deserved, but what he is getting now more than makes up for me not doing anything else. oh, do tell -- what is he getting now!
NoIDidn't Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I have no idea how any of you after discovering an affair did not commit serious acts of violence against the OM/OW. How did you not do this? Explain please..... Well after beating up my H, I was too tired to put a beatdown on her too. (j/k) She wasn't worth it. I like my freedom far too much.
Reggie Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 When I was younger, I was involved in a fight and was hospitalized with multiple facial fractures. This was not schoolyard stuff where saying uncle gets the other guy to stop. So, I stay away form that. Full grown men can easily get killed in a fight. But, unconciously, I also knew that my XW was getting enough of an ego stroke already, by cheating. Seeing men fight over her would have added to her narcissism, IMO. Also, I knew that it would just give credibility to any claim that I was nuts, controlling or whatever lies she was spreading to justify her affair. Finally ,again on an unconcious level, I realized that her cheating was my get out of jail free card, a chance to get away from a BPD or NPd or whatever type of abuser she is, with the support of her family and our mutual friends(my own family already disliked her, having seen her in action). So, Ireally was not all that pissed at the guy. Like Dexter, I actually thanked him for taking her off my hands. He lasted about a year and got a good taste of what I'd been dealing with for years.
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I grew up with two older brothers and 1/2 my friends were boys, so I got to indulge in my tomboy side. I also had a barbie side but that's for another thread. Anyways, they taught me how to use my fists and as an adult, took kick boxing, both for self-protection and also as a way to stay in shape. While she probably outweighed me by a good 40 lbs and topped me for height by at least 4 inches, I could have taken her down! Of course when I had my ex arrange the meeting, this fleetingly crossed my mind. But knowing I could do it, made it not worth my while and physical violence isn't my style. Instead, I ripped her to shreds verbally, without being crude or coarse. It felt really good to make her cry. I felt no pity, just disgust. I still feel nothing but disgust and will never feel remorse.
Reggie Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I grew up with two older brothers and 1/2 my friends were boys, so I got to indulge in my tomboy side. I also had a barbie side but that's for another thread. Anyways, they taught me how to use my fists and as an adult, took kick boxing, both for self-protection and also as a way to stay in shape. While she probably outweighed me by a good 40 lbs and topped me for height by at least 4 inches, I could have taken her down! Of course when I had my ex arrange the meeting, this fleetingly crossed my mind. But knowing I could do it, made it not worth my while and physical violence isn't my style. Instead, I ripped her to shreds verbally, without being crude or coarse. It felt really good to make her cry. I felt no pity, just disgust. I still feel nothing but disgust and will never feel remorse. Nothing to feel remorseful about. Nice job.
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Nothing to feel remorseful about. Nice job. Thanks Reggie. If you're going to do it, do it with no remorse or regrets. That's my motto in life.
RecordProducer Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I wouldn't have the urge to hurt the OW physically, but I would have the urge to belittle her. I am not talking about calling her nasty names - those mean nothing and only belittle the speaker. I am talking about whatever insults would stab her straight in the heart. This is of course if she provoked me. In many ways, I could see myself NOT getting angry at the OW at all, but if she would be some inconsiderate bitch, I'd show her.
HappyAtLast Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Well, in most states, I believe, adultery is not against the law. Physical violence, however, is.
Dexter Morgan Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I'm not a violent person by nature, I think with my head not my fists, not by a weapon (matches and gasoline) My full concentration, when I first found out about her, was my husband. I'm not violent either. I will never attack someone, only defend. But if I were that way, sure, i guess I'd want to hand down a beating to the OM.....but I'd be more angry towards the person that cheated on me. So if I were violent, I'd think I'd want to slap the piss out of the x-W when I found out she cheated rather than the OM. As far as I'm concerned, the OM, in hindsight, did me a favor. Besides, I wouldn't have to slap my X. He blackened her eye already.
2sure Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Upon discovering H's infidelity, I physically attacked him. I still wish I had not. When we got married he had an old gf still calling him all the time. They had been FWB for years so I understood his reluctance to be rude to her. I was OK with it and figured she would go away. When she continued calling - wanting to meet him for lunch, needing a favor, etc, all without me, and he never went. Through a mutual "friend" I found out she thought I was just a trophy wife and wouldnt interfere. She had never met me. I simply introduced myself, checked her out up and down, smiled and said "You were good for FWB, but I'm the real deal. I am the last person you want to F with." I love to be underestimated
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I have no idea how any of you after discovering an affair did not commit serious acts of violence against the OM/OW. How did you not do this? Explain please..... Unless you want to spend some time in jail.. I think you should just refrain from being violent.. Violence is never a solution.. First.. why would you be violent against the OM|OW.. they don't owe you anything.. they haven't done anything to you.. If you need to be mad at one person ..it's your partner..
Dexter Morgan Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 When I found out my xW cheated, I thought about pushing her buttons and calling her a cheating wh0re, among other things, in hopes that she would hit me. Then I would look at her and say, "oh thank you!", then call the cops.
GorillaTheater Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Unless you want to spend some time in jail.. I think you should just refrain from being violent.. Violence is never a solution.. First.. why would you be violent against the OM|OW.. they don't owe you anything.. they haven't done anything to you.. If you need to be mad at one person ..it's your partner.. Fairly said, but I know what kind of person I am, and that I would as likely as not react violently. I could never hit my wife, even in self-defence, but I think I would be fully capable of taking it out on the OM, regardless of the proportionate share of "culpability" between him and my wife. Maybe it's an old-fashioned sense of "winning back my honor", I don't know. I do know that I wouldn't want to be in his shoes. It'd be ultimately self-destructive, I suspect, but that hasn't stopped me before.
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