DunnoWhat Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I've had a girlfriend for a year and the other day we were talking on MSN. I just created a facebook account and sent her a friend request. A few minutes later she had to go to bed but she never accepted the friend request. So I'm wondering if it's difficult to use facebook or is she hiding something. First I said I sent her it. She chatted about something. Then said she had to go. So i asked her to look at my picture and she logged in. A few minutes earlier she 'forgot' her password. Then she logged in and saw the picture. After another minute I had to remind her to accept the friends request. She said she was very tired (she was tired alright) and she'd do it in the morning. So I said good night and went off line. It really felt like she didn't want me to see her account. So when you get a friend request in facebook how difficult is it to see it?? Earlier when I mentioned my newly created facebook account she didn't say much and asked if I had a myspace account (which she has too). I said I hadn't (which I don't) but I was wondering why she never mentioned that she had a facebook account. I reminded her that she asked me about facebook a year ago when we first started dating. I know for a fact she's not cheating but I'm wondering what doesn't she want me to see or could she be genuine in being very tired? Any thoughts?
loser101 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 yip. you probably wore her out with your nagging
Lindarose84 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 If she's been you're girlfriend for a year, I find it really odd that she wouldn't want you to see her facebook profile. I would be really suspicious if the guy I was seeing didn't want me to see his facebook profile. I know that facebook just got "revamped" so the "friend request notification" is in a different area of the screen now, but it's definitely still noticeable and not something she would have a hard time seeing so she would accept your friend request. In my opinion, I think she's pulling something (i.e. dudes posting on her wall, or drinking pics with guys she doesn't want you to see).
Citizen Erased Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Facebook has recently changed and it kind of sucks, it's not as easy to see things like friend requests at first. But most people have it set up so you are alerted via email when things like friend requests come through. So if she was on MSN she should have had the usual little popup come up saying she had an email from Facebook. Plus you told her. Anyway, I'm rambling. Chill. If she hasn't accepted in a week you can revisit this. Life was so much simpler before FB...
Star Gazer Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Facebook has recently changed and it kind of sucks, it's not as easy to see things like friend requests at first. I agree. I had one sittin' on my FB for almost a week and didn't notice it until the person messaged me about it.
Beautiful Inside Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 i do think its kindA weird that she's never showed you her FB over a year and all do you think she even has pics of the 2 of you on their....go check her status on their ....lol
Author DunnoWhat Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 Can you delete messages from people? ie could she 'tidy' it up before I see it? I actually checked it before but only friends are allowed to see her profile. Before it showed her friends and there were 2 guys. I don't have a problem with that as long as nothing is going on (obviously lol). Ichecked it again the other day and couldn't see any friends next to her name. So I'm wondering what happened. But most people have it set up so you are alerted via email when things like friend requests come through. So if she was on MSN she should have had the usual little popup come up saying she had an email from Facebook. Plus you told her. Life was so much simpler before FB... She saw the email and looked at it when she got it. I don't use any of those sites usually and I won't in the future. Maybe part of the reason she doesn't want to add me as a friend is because her mum is probably friends with her too on it and she might think her mum would embarras her (she said that before because she wouldn't allowed her mum to chat with me on MSN).
Author DunnoWhat Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 She texted me while ago and said she can't sleep because shes worried if I'm angry with her. I told her I was a bit puzzled and not to worry if theres nothing to worry about. She texted me back and seemed in better form. She said she'll add me as a friend first thing tomorrow moring and theres nothing strange going on because she asked me before if I had facebook. So I'll check it out tomorrow and see if theres anything on it that shouldn't be there. I doubt there is but we'll see.
pollywag Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Nonsense, Facebook has changed but it's not rocket science to figure out. She is stalling and doesn't seem to want to add you. Has she added you yet? I bet the answer is still no... In a year you have been together she has never showed you her FB profile? hmmmm too many weird things going on. She is definitely hiding something. She is too tired to add you but not too tired to text back and forth with you? C'mon! I doubt you will see much when she finally does add you she is probably deleting away anything she does not want you to see.
justcurious66 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 It's probably minor. I would not worry about this, to be quite honest with you. Maybe she wanted to take down some less than flattering photos of herself first, who knows. But I would not worry about it, especially since she asked you if you had it first. I dated a guy once who had implicit trust in me. He just trusted everything I said, no matter what, and nothing ever bothered him. Because he had such trust in me and never second guessed me, it MADE me WANT to be completely 100% honest with him all the time. I told him everything, even if it didn't matter. If you know your girl really values your relationship and you do too, maybe try this technique. It will equate to alot less worry on your part and could make your relationship stronger. Just a thought, take it for what it's worth
Lindarose84 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Nonsense, Facebook has changed but it's not rocket science to figure out. She is stalling and doesn't seem to want to add you. Has she added you yet? I bet the answer is still no... In a year you have been together she has never showed you her FB profile? hmmmm too many weird things going on. She is definitely hiding something. She is too tired to add you but not too tired to text back and forth with you? C'mon! I doubt you will see much when she finally does add you she is probably deleting away anything she does not want you to see. Cosigned. I definitely think she's stalling. The time she's taking to text you back and forth about being "tired" is time she could've spent hitting a couple of keys to accept you as a friend- it's not that hard. I speak from experience when I'm telling you that taking time to add a significant other means you're stalling to make sure you delete stuff you don't want this person to see. I've even gone as far as making sure I know how to set my privacy settings so that just that one person can only see certain parts of my profile. It's possible. She's either in the process now of deleting stuff or she's setting up privacy settings to make sure that just you alone don't see certain stuff on her profile.
EllieBean Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 My ex didn't want to add me as a Facebook friend, and it turned out that he was listed as being in a relationship with another girl, that's why he didn't want me to see his profile! Insist that she adds you as a friend - she should do this unless she has something to hide. If she doesn't do it, try joining the same network as her and see if you can view her profile - depending on privacy settings you can sometimes view profiles on the same network. Or send her a message on Facebook and persuade her to reply - when she replies you'll be able to view her profile even if you're not friends. Or find someone who is her Facebook friend and get them to log in so you can view your girlfriend's profile. As a last resort, set up a fake Facebook profile and message her or add her as a friend - either way you should be able to see her profile. If I were you, I wouldn't rest until I saw her profile and reassured myself that there was nothing to worry about. But maybe that's because I've already been burned that way once before...
Star Gazer Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Before it showed her friends and there were 2 guys. I don't have a problem with that as long as nothing is going on (obviously lol). Are you suggesting she shouldn't have any male friends on FB?
Author DunnoWhat Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 I think she was stalling alright. I should mention however that shes definetly not cheating. Her mum and friends are on it and they all know about me. She said she doesn't use it much but I'm not too sure about that. She also has a myspace profile and thats not on a private setting (anybody can see it) but she never uses that although it says single under relationship status. I'm sure she just couldn't be bothered changing it. Regarding her deleting things etc... that was my first thought. But I must say too, if shes having difficulty adding me as a friend she might find it hard to prevent me from seeing some things and others not. Are you suggesting she shouldn't have any male friends on FB? She told me she has none. I know that her friends have boyfriends etc and she must know some of them. I'm wondering now if shes afraid of me seeing that she has some male friends. If there are any males there then it's no harm to 'mark my territory'. I'm wondering if she had an ex boyfriend on there or something like that.
Author DunnoWhat Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 Are you suggesting she shouldn't have any male friends on FB? To answer your question more accurately, I prefer if she didn't have male friends because male 'friends' usually want more then friendship.
Art_Critic Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I'm wondering if she had an ex boyfriend on there or something like that. No need to wonder, you already know the answer.. the key will be whether or not the ex is still on her FB when you have a chance to see her profile.. On FB it has some pretty good security and you can limit your friends from seeing certain things.. like your wall messages.. I would sit back and see what happens.. with your inability to accept that she can have male friends she most likely will not allow you to see her ex on her FB... Are you friends with any of her friends ?
shockandawed Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 By the time she decides to add you, you will not know whether she deleted anything so you are just going to have to let that part go. However, I would expect some things based on your length together that should put your mind at ease. Being together a year, she should change her status to "in a relationship" if she hasn't already. I would also expect at this point for her to list you by name. This is an option under relationship status. You should list yourself as in one as well and include her name. I would also make a point to take a couple of cute pics of you two together, post them on yours and tag her in them. This will broadcast to all of her friends. Those are ways you can "mark your territory" as you said, without coming across as doing such. If she blocks any of this, then you have proof of something to bring up to her. Lastly, I am a little concerned about your comments regarding friends of the opposite sex. I have many female friends that are strictly platonic. This makes you appear a little on the insecure/jealous side. Since you have been together this long, she is probably aware of that. She could merely have a few male friends. such as friends boyfriends or old classmates and is concerned that you will freak out if you see that. Don't worry about her male friends, especially if she publicly acknowledges your relationship. I think that is the key here.
MichiganMan222 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 It's real simple. You can force the issue innocently. First off, like people said, check her relationship status. If she's set to single, don't be alarmed yet. Just set yours to 'in a relationship' and select her name. She has to accept or reject that. See what she does. Do you have a digital pics of you two? Post them and tag her on them. A reference to the taggings will appear in her profile. Suggest she puts some of the pics IN her profile. Make wall posts that reference your relationship. Flirt with her in them. Even some things with a sexual overtone (be careful, though if she has family or children as friends) If she hesitates to accept the relationship status, post pics of you two, deletes the references to you're tagging them on her profile, or deletes your romantic wall postings, she is either hiding something from you, or hiding you from someone else. If that's the case, I would be extremely suspicious if it were me and call her out on it. But honesly, it would probably mean the end is near. I wouldn't want to be with someone hiding or ashamed of our relationship
Author DunnoWhat Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 She messaged me this morning that she had added me as a friend. I checked her profile. There are 3 guys out of 27 people she has as friends. One is in a foreign country. Her profile didn't say nothing about her being in a relationship. it just said: Looking for - friendship. She sent me a message on my 'wall' with kiss signs after it and I sent her a message with kiss signs after it. Just to let people know what the story is. I don't think she was doing anything with it but who knows.
shockandawed Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Don't spend any time worrying about the males on her friend list. List yourself as being in a relationship, identify her as being the one you are and her response will clear it all up for you.
Author DunnoWhat Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 She had no relationship status up. I'm thinking that she had it up before and it said single. Who knows..
Author DunnoWhat Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 So in the last week things have been going well. I mentioned to her that she should show her relationship status etc which she did. Now I've another problem. I now know 100% for sure that she was stalling me. I've looked back at our conversation (MSN records) and at first she said she was taking her time remembering her password. She also said Myspace was better. Its strange because she uses facebook every day and takes quizes and does some games on it. So she definetly didn't forget her password. She told me before to that shes good at remembering numbers. She also said that she didn't know where the button was to add a friend. She seems to know every other button. She said facebook was different (They must have upgraded it). So does anybody know when did facebook change? She also had almost 6 minutes to find it! She told me the other day that she loves me. So everything is good. Should I bring up that I know now that she was stalling me?
EllieBean Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Facebook did change quite a lot recently, and it was quite confusing until you got the hang of it. 6 minutes is nothing...
Author DunnoWhat Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 Facebook did change quite a lot recently, and it was quite confusing until you got the hang of it. 6 minutes is nothing... Do you know the exact date? Or was it 1 week ago or maybe more?
xpaperxcutx Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I think you're being over- paranoid about this. Why are you questioning her character when you've been with her for over a year? If you believe she's being unfaithful then just confront her on the subject. Might as well just tell her you don't want to be with her because your doubts the only thing causing a rift in the relationship.
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