LoXs Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Hi guys, I have been seperated from the ex for about 6 months now and she is now seeing someone else which of course I am taking very badly. I am desperate to move on as my heart and my mind are confused, damaged and hurt. So how am I trying to move on? Well I have read and understood that I am feeling bad because I think I need her to be happy and that she makes me happy when infact I am in control of my emotions and thoughts. Emotions like unhappiness and anger are internal thoughts, NO ONE MAKES you feel that way it is only yourself. Ask yourself this.... "Why do you think he/she is responsable for your happiness"? So I ask you all, what is your happiness, how do you find hapiness, where do you start? What makes you happy?! How about complete and unconditonal self-love for only when you fully love yourself and you are happy can you love someone else?
not.who.you.think Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Real happiness has to be having 0 responsibilty.... Hard to come accross at our age.
kizik Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Everybody tells me I'll be happy once I get a new girlfriend. I say f*ck that. If I can't be happy alone, then life is pointless. And I don't need someone else to make me happy. I should be able to do that myself.
Eve Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Hi guys, I have been seperated from the ex for about 6 months now and she is now seeing someone else which of course I am taking very badly. I am desperate to move on as my heart and my mind are confused, damaged and hurt. So how am I trying to move on? Well I have read and understood that I am feeling bad because I think I need her to be happy and that she makes me happy when infact I am in control of my emotions and thoughts. Emotions like unhappiness and anger are internal thoughts, NO ONE MAKES you feel that way it is only yourself. Ask yourself this.... "Why do you think he/she is responsable for your happiness"? So I ask you all, what is your happiness, how do you find hapiness, where do you start? What makes you happy?! How about complete and unconditonal self-love for only when you fully love yourself and you are happy can you love someone else? I feel happy when I am part of something but LOVE wondering around on my own. I relish those moments because mostly I am pretty busy. I found happiness through living out my faith and because of this I am known as someone good to be around in real life. I think its to do with the unconditional love thing, though I dont pull any punches when it comes to protecting myself and those who I love. So I suppose I believe in unconditional love but I am not a doormat and not stupidly tolerant when in the presence of .. crap. I suppose mainly though, I like to laugh a lot. Searching for laughter in everyday life is quite entertaining in itself. There is nothing like a good belly laugh! Try the film, 'A complete history of my sexual faliures.' I dont know if you are into that sort of humour but it is SO funny and touching at the same time. Guaranteed to inspire. Anyhow, *hugs* babes. I think it is ok to feel the anger etc. You are not a bad looking young man.. you will be ok. Take care, Eve xx
Butterflying Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I think you're right about happiness being within yourself first. Ultimately, what makes me happy is knowing that most aspects of life are within my control. Love is also a very important factor. Giving and recieving love determines how you view life and the world. When love is lost, it's sad and a good reason to feel unhappy. Focus on other things and people to love and obtain love from. Friends, relatives, even strangers are capable of providing that. To help get over a breakup, I burried myself with my work because I love my job. That simple love for my job was enough to keep me from "needing" the ex. And then I had my family and friends. So I guess realizing that losing a lover doesn't have to mean love is no longer a part of your life. But if that person was the only thing you loved about life, then your problem is not having more to love about life, not losing that person.
era Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Emotions like unhappiness and anger are internal thoughts Yes.... Happiness is an inner process that we bring to life's undertakings, rather than something we get from "out there".
socialight Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 >>What makes you happy?! Peace with god. Once you have that, the rest just falls into place.
Author LoXs Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 All very good and thought provoking points. And thanks Eve, am liking your profile pic too;) I love that programme!
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I am going to be honest and give my own damaged view of happiness. I think I learnt this from my mother, but I CAN'T be happy unless I care for someone. I feel happiest when I care for an animal or my boyfriend. If i'm with someone I love, that is the ONLY time I feel truly happy. I can't be truly happy alone. I could at times, but i've always had anxiety and depression issues and so being alone in my own head is a catastrophe. I literally CANNOT relax or stop thinking. I drive myself insane. But I am a very creative person so I accept it as the cause of me being able to create what I do, but also something very destructive for my general well-being. I can't be happy, at least not at this stage in my life, without loving someone. I'm not sure why. Maybe I live in a dreamworld but I feel that love is what we are here for. Without love, life feels so meaningless. I like the selfless focus of another person. I envy people who can be happy alone because at least for now, that is not yet me.
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