NYgirlinLA Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 For those of you who have seen my past posts, I broke up with my ex in October, went no contact for 3 months and then started speaking with him again in January. I ended the relationship because he couldn't let me entirely in. For the past 3 months, we have had long conversations on the phone, went out for drinks, collaborated on work together, gone out with friends, had dinner, but have not discussed our relationship yet. Three weeks ago, he told our mutual friend that he was hoping to get back together with me and was working on it. We went to dinner shortly after and ended up sleeping together. It was nice and wasn't awkward at all and we went to lunch and spent a great day together a few days later at his house, but he didn't make one move on me at all. I started to feel I was getting mixed signals and was wondering if that was his way of putting on the brakes. The past two weeks have been strange. I heard he is in the dating scene (which he is free to do since we are not together anymore) and I too have been asked out on dates and have gone. But how is dating multiple people "working on getting back together with me again" as he told our friend? This past week, we both got super busy with work and didn't get a chance to really talk and I backed off a bit. Then all of a sudden, he hears my mom is in town visiting and he tells me he would love to meet her. On the day he was going to come over, he got caught up working late but called me at 10 pm as he was leaving the office asking if he could still come by because he was looking forward to meeting her. So he comes by and meets mom, hangs out, talks, eats and drinks some wine with us for a few hours and leaves after midnight. As he is leaving, my mom invited him to come over next Sunday for dinner and he says he would love to. I have no idea what is going on. My mom got the impression that he is way too busy and it might be bad timing right now. I am going to have to talk with him soon, I just don't want to scare him away. We are both extremely busy these upcoming weeks but he has been working almost 18 hour days straight and I don’t want to bring this up at a bad time. But is there ever a right time when you are willing to give a relationship a second chance? Is this guy interested in getting back together? Am I just in the friend zone? What does it mean when a guy sleeps with you, but the next time just hangs out and doesn't make a move? Do guys who are not interested in women meet their mothers? Is he just being polite? What is with the mixed signals?
playlislay Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 The past two weeks have been strange. I heard he is in the dating scene (which he is free to do since we are not together anymore) and I too have been asked out on dates and have gone. But how is dating multiple people "working on getting back together with me again" as he told our friend? ? Hey I just wanted to throw in abit about this comment. Maybe he kind of sees it as 'well youre dating, so I dont see any problem with it'. If YOU wanted to work on the relationship then you wouldnt go out on dates either. Sorry its breif and rather obvious, but I just wanted to give some sort of answer. )
loser101 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 unfortunately you won't know until you talk to him. there are just too many layers here. you have to ask him outright. however, I have to warn you that he may not be able to answer you fully. you said you had problems with him for not letting you in fully in the past, in my experience people like that don't change. sorry
BCCA Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I broke up with my ex Then the burden of reconciliation is on you. You decided to end things, YOU need to make the effort to fix them. You cant expect him to understand where youre at if you dont tell him. It sounds like youre regretting your decision to end things, so why not have a meaningful conversation, where you explain to him your reasons for ending it and what you can both do to make it work once more. He's not just going to beat down your door with flowers every night until you take him back. For all he knows, youre seeing other people, and if he just stands around and waits forever, he could very well be the last person to hear youre with someone else. Sex means nothing anymore. It really doesnt. People sleep with other people for fun, something different, love, anger, guilt...and any number of other reasons. The fact that you two slept together really changes nothing. If you want him back, speak up. DO NOT expect him to radically change who he is and what he does anytime soon.
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