Ms.Jade Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I'm a little confused and I was wondering if someone can help me. I've been talking to this guy who I met off of a dating site since late December of 08. The first two months started off with us talking on the phone & getting to know each other etc etc. He seemed to get into me very fast and he was calling me and texting me all the time,everyday. I was really liking him as well. It seemed a little weird how quickly he fell, because we hadn't met in person as of yet.. we only saw pictures of one another.He was constantly telling me how much he likes me & how special he thinks I am. He was already talking about planning a trip together or getting a hotel which I thought was odd? I was thinking perhaps he just wanted sex.. So in February we decided to meet a local mall to go see a movie. Everything seemed to go well. We even kissed 3 times during the date. After it was over, he sent me a text saying he really enjoyed the date & was hoping that we could do it again really soon. Ever since the date, he's become distant. If I call or text him, he always responds and we always talk & have great conversations still. However he doesn't talk about his feelings anymore like he did before the date. Also I'm always the one calling now, days can pass without me hearing from him unlike before when he called and texted me all of the time. I asked him recently if he still felt the same way and he says of course he does.He says that he's been distant because he's really stressed with work since he's relocated to another store and he's been busy working hectic hours. He also gave me the excuse that he just really needs to focus on getting his life together first before he even thinks about getting into a relationship. Somethings not adding up. Most of the time I call him, he's at work and he usually calls me back when he gets home late in the mornings. He says he doesn't have time for a relationship but when I do talk to him, he has time to hang out with friends & family on off days. He talks about things like going to a concert for his birthday. He already bought the tickets but he couldn't invite me? When I ask him if he wanna hang out, he always has some lame excuse, I got to do this or I have to do that... Should I just end it and cut contact all together?
yeex Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Yeah, I would back off and see if he calls and invites you. i have only gone on a couple of internet dates, but I learned fast that if I start chatting with somebody, I try to meet up with them in person within a week two. Ultimately you are going to be hanging out with them in person if it works out. It does not really matter how well you click via emails and phone and such. If the feeling is not there in person then it will more than likely not work out. Maybe it will work out as friends at best. And that is what happened with my two experiences. They turned out to be friend material instead of romantic even though we seemed to click communicating via email and phone. Anyways if he is interested still, he will contact you to invite you to do something no matter how busy he is.
bean1 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Hon, there are so many things wrong with this that I don't even know where to begin. Talking about going to a hotel, feelings before the first date, talking for TWO months before meeting, etc... I'll get straight to the point, this is what is known as "false intimacy" because there wasn't a relationship in the first place. He said he doesn't have time for a relationship, has no interest after the first date, and you are always the one calling him? Way, way, WAY too much. He is clearly making excuses that he does not wish to continue anything. In fact, he has told you this flat out by saying he isn't interested in a relationship. Cut your losses and don't talk to them for more than a week before meeting them again.
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