mr.dream merchant Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Would you commit to a club ho? As in a chick who you meet at a club one night and she just tosses you some ass without any effort on your part? Commit or just **** around with for fun and dismiss?
Lights Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 What were you looking for at that club? A fling? A date? A girlfriend? Wouldn't one's own motivations make a difference? What sort of effort are you referring to?
BCCA Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 If I met a girl at a club, and we hit it off and exchanged numbers, I wouldnt care if she was a club ho or who she slept with. If I met a girl at a club and we had sex that night, no, I wouldnt commit to her. In my mind, I would feel no different than anyone else who walks through the door, and most people dont sleep with the people they put a lot of stock in right off the bat. Its hard to say, and I can assure you the definition of 'club ho' is relative. Most people frown on others for doing the same things they do/have done. If you've ever gone into a club and had a one night stand, youre no better than anyone else who happens to be doing the same thing tonight. I feel as though we as a society are quick to toss around 'ho/tramp/sleeze/slut/etc', when in reality, any and all of us could be viewed that way at one time or another.
St. Nick Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 No, I wouldn't commit to a club ho. She's there for sex, not for a relationship.
Kamille Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I wouldn't commit to a club ho either. He's just at a club looking for fresh meat. Come to think of it, I'm not much of a fan of club hoes myself. In another thread I was analysing how my last date went. He complained that he couldn't find any girls his age "who made sense" (he's ten years younger then me) and then proceeded to try and pressure me into sex. Politely, but still. I feel that the main reason he cannot find "decent" girls his age is because he created the drama by thinking that he's allowed to do anything in the interes of getting laid. For a discussion of this read this thread. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t183834/ Anyway, my question related to this thread is: Don't you think that if 1)you discriminate against women based on how easily they give up; 2)yet, are still willing to sleep with a charming "club ho"; and 3) consider that when it comes to getting laid, all bets are off; you might be diminishing the probability that you will meet women you consider to be relationship material? I'm not saying everone is in that situation, but clearly my date last weekend was. He was stuck in a vicious circle of his own creation. He frequented women he didn't respect, and therefore isn't meeting women he could. What if you changed your attitude and decided to treat all women with the degree of respect you would treat the woman of your dreams?
bean1 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Some men are treated like crap by their girlfriends and don't stand up for themselves, so instead of leaving the girl and finding a respectful woman, they prefer to just turn their attitude against girls who they feel are beneath them (ie. club hos). It's like the kid who gets bullied at school. He's too afraid to stand up to the bully, so he goes home and kicks his little dog. Pathetic!
loser101 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Some men are treated like crap by their girlfriends and don't stand up for themselves, so instead of leaving the girl and finding a respectful woman, they prefer to just turn their attitude against girls who they feel are beneath them (ie. club hos). It's like the kid who gets bullied at school. He's too afraid to stand up to the bully, so he goes home and kicks his little dog. Pathetic! it is. spot on
Woggle Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I could never judge a woman that I just met at a club because you can't get to know somebody that way. I don't judge anything a person does as long as they are honest about it.
Stockalone Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Anyway, my question related to this thread is: Don't you think that if 1)you discriminate against women based on how easily they give up; 2)yet, are still willing to sleep with a charming "club ho"; and 3) consider that when it comes to getting laid, all bets are off; you might be diminishing the probability that you will meet women you consider to be relationship material? I'm not saying everone is in that situation, but clearly my date last weekend was. He was stuck in a vicious circle of his own creation. He frequented women he didn't respect, and therefore isn't meeting women he could. What if you changed your attitude and decided to treat all women with the degree of respect you would treat the woman of your dreams? I think that those hypocrites reduce their chances, but not to the extent I would have expected. I have known quite a few guys like this ("women who sleep with you on the first date are not gf material, but having sex with them doesn't mean I am not relationship material"), yet most of them had no problem getting into a relationship. Their girlfriends simply didn't care. Some weren't too happy about their bf's attitude about this topic, but apparently didn't really care as long as they were being treated right by him. So, do women really care about how their SO treated other women in the past?
Stockalone Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Would you commit to a club ho? As in a chick who you meet at a club one night and she just tosses you some ass without any effort on your part? Commit or just **** around with for fun and dismiss? If you date a woman, do you ask her if she ever had a ONS with a guy that she met at a club?
Lindarose84 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Wait a minute, if you as guys sleep with this supposed "club ho" as you call her, doesn't that make you a "club ho" too??? Aren't you essentially there for the same reason that she is? So why would you then judge her and say she isn't relationship worthy because she did the same thing you did? I don't get that logic...
Kamille Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I think that those hypocrites reduce their chances, but not to the extent I would have expected. I have known quite a few guys like this ("women who sleep with you on the first date are not gf material, but having sex with them doesn't mean I am not relationship material"), yet most of them had no problem getting into a relationship. Their girlfriends simply didn't care. Some weren't too happy about their bf's attitude about this topic, but apparently didn't really care as long as they were being treated right by him. So, do women really care about how their SO treated other women in the past? Good point. I have met quite a few "reformed" guys like the one you describe. I guess they describe themselves as reformed to me because I don't strike them as one of those girls. Do I care ? no. My point was that some men might hinder their chances at meeting "decent" women because they are used to manipulating women into sex. As soon as she gives in, she loses points and if she doesn't give in, he loses face. This raises one question for me: why do men decide that some women are "relationship" material and not others? I'm sure many of those girlfriends had one night stands too. When does building a (healthy) relationship become a priority over getting laid?
carhill Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Is a restaurant with a bar considered a "club"? I think I married one of those....
Woggle Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Men who pay attention develop a sixth sense on if a woman is a keeper or not. If a man judges this based on if she likes to party in clubs or not he doesn't have that sixth sense.
loser101 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Good point. I have met quite a few "reformed" guys like the one you describe. I guess they describe themselves as reformed to me because I don't strike them as one of those girls. Do I care ? no. My point was that some men might hinder their chances at meeting "decent" women because they are used to manipulating women into sex. As soon as she gives in, she loses points and if she doesn't give in, he loses face. This raises one question for me: why do men decide that some women are "relationship" material and not others? I'm sure many of those girlfriends had one night stands too. When does building a (healthy) relationship become a priority over getting laid? please stop describing women's actions who decide to go to bed with a man because they are attracted to him as 'giving in'. a lot of us don't think like that, we enjoy pleasure, it's not a power game. to answer your question about relationship material: when he decides he likes her. doesn't matter if it starts of as a one-night stand or a friendship. sometimes he decides quickly he likes someone, sometimes he takes his time.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I wouldn't commit to a club ho either. He's just at a club looking for fresh meat. please stop describing women's actions who decide to go to bed with a man because they are attracted to him as 'giving in'. a lot of us don't think like that, we enjoy pleasure, it's not a power game. Some men are treated like crap by their girlfriends and don't stand up for themselves, so instead of leaving the girl and finding a respectful woman, they prefer to just turn their attitude against girls who they feel are beneath them (ie. club hos). It's like the kid who gets bullied at school. He's too afraid to stand up to the bully, so he goes home and kicks his little dog. Pathetic! *high-fives the ladies* This thread makes me miss my ex a little. In spite of his faults, he was quite evolved and mature about female sexuality, and believed that if a woman loved sex and wanted to have a lot of it, more power to her. I think he held this belief largely because he was completely confident in himself and his sexual abilities, and saw no reason to view strong female sexuality as a threat. MDM, it is clear that you have deep insecurities about your sexuality and issues with women in general. You are never going to find peace and real love with a woman until you get to the bottom of these issues and learn to overcome your sexual insecurity.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 *high-fives the ladies* This thread makes me miss my ex a little. In spite of his faults, he was quite evolved and mature about female sexuality, and believed that if a woman loved sex and wanted to have a lot of it, more power to her. I think he held this belief largely because he was completely confident in himself and his sexual abilities, and saw no reason to view strong female sexuality as a threat. MDM, it is clear that you have deep insecurities about your sexuality and issues with women in general. You are never going to find peace and real love with a woman until you get to the bottom of these issues and learn to overcome your sexual insecurity. Nope, I would not commit to a club ho, nor would I not think twice about taking her up on her offer to ****. And nope, a female with a strong sexuality is not a problem at all for me. When I dated my GF I did ask her if she had any ONS, she replied no, hey whatever floats your boat. If she had said yes there wouldn't have been a change at all in how I feel for her. I've had ONS, plenty of them, mostly with females I knew, and the rest with friends of females I knew. But more to the point, I would not commit to a club ho because club hoes are only good for one thing and that is getting your rocks off for the night. Why would I want to commit to a drunkenly sloven-like female who barely even knows me but wants to pop my cock in her mouth? That **** is gross.
bean1 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 OP, did you end up breaking up with your girlfriend? Or are you just going to approach it from the "she hurt me, so I'll hurt her/other women, bad boy/jerk" angle? That's fine, I suppose. When you decide to start dating women again (women, not girls) you should try to adopt a different approach; this entire thread is just oozing insecurity and fear. It's pretty unfortunate actually, you'd be suprised how many good women you are going to turn away with this new attitude.
loser101 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Nope, I would not commit to a club ho, nor would I not think twice about taking her up on her offer to ****. And nope, a female with a strong sexuality is not a problem at all for me. When I dated my GF I did ask her if she had any ONS, she replied no, hey whatever floats your boat. If she had said yes there wouldn't have been a change at all in how I feel for her. I've had ONS, plenty of them, mostly with females I knew, and the rest with friends of females I knew. But more to the point, I would not commit to a club ho because club hoes are only good for one thing and that is getting your rocks off for the night. Why would I want to commit to a drunkenly sloven-like female who barely even knows me but wants to pop my cock in her mouth? That **** is gross. why would you f*** someone that disgusts you? do you get off on that? don't give me the 'being a man' crap. a lot of guys won't sleep with just anything, especially if they can afford to being selective in the first place.
You'reasian Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 *high-fives the ladies* This thread makes me miss my ex a little. In spite of his faults, he was quite evolved and mature about female sexuality, and believed that if a woman loved sex and wanted to have a lot of it, more power to her. I think he held this belief largely because he was completely confident in himself and his sexual abilities, and saw no reason to view strong female sexuality as a threat. And you've just reminded me about a mostly fun and great ex whom could keep up in the bedroom. Fireworks every night (and morning) Like bunnies I tell ya
Kamille Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 please stop describing women's actions who decide to go to bed with a man because they are attracted to him as 'giving in'. a lot of us don't think like that, we enjoy pleasure, it's not a power game. to answer your question about relationship material: when he decides he likes her. doesn't matter if it starts of as a one-night stand or a friendship. sometimes he decides quickly he likes someone, sometimes he takes his time. Apologies if you got the impression I suscribe to a philosophy that hinders women's sexuality. I have met plenty of men who think progressively on the matter. In my post, I was speaking more specifically to people who think like MDM (there is a quantifier stuck in there somewhere) .
Author mr.dream merchant Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 I just can't take a chick who throws herself at me serious. Its something I look back on and laugh with my boys about "Oh man you remember that chick from the club a couple months ago? Damn son what a freak!" I wouldn't commit to a freaky chick who's just going to **** me without all the getting to know each other beforehand. If I'm in the club and horny, ya damn right I'm going to **** her if she looks good. I just wouldn't take her serious enough to date. Hate me if you want, call me whatever you want, that's just how it goes for me. It has nothing to do with me thinking less of her, thinking she's gross (unless she's down for a couple things that I'd question her having some sort of disease/virus), or having to settle down with an ugly bitch, there's enough pussy to go around where I can be selective about who I get down with, I just can't take an easy chick serious. I wouldn't expect a chick to take me serious if she ****ed me on the first night we met. Hell, I wouldn't be asking for anything serious from the get go, just some pussy - its just a preference. Where are all the guys at anyways? I wasn't asking to be swarmed by a bunch of equal opportunist females.
confused_2008 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Where are all the guys at anyways? I wasn't asking to be swarmed by a bunch of equal opportunist females. I'm a guy and wasn't going to comment, but since you asked... I just don't pick up club hos in the first place. Not saying there's anything wrong with it, but it's just not for me.
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