mr314man Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 ....and I am at the end of my rope. Anybody know about this, has dealt with this. Borderline Personality Disorder, Class B, Narcissistic and Histrionic. Going in to see her threapist with her tonight. I wish I'd have never gotten involved with her and it kills me because I love her. I am, however, not going to let her/it damage my life and kids.
DragonSlayer Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I've read a lot about this as I suspect my wife (separated 7 mo's now) has it. And so did our previous marriage counselor. And so have several people on here after hearing my stories (I had to change my user ID b/c she found out I was posting here and became LIVID). Read Sometimes I Act Crazy and Stop Walking on Eggshells. They're a big help. My wife has some strong narcissistic and histrionic traits. It's as if she can become possessed by the devil within a few seconds. And she can be the most fun and charming person you ever met. She would be referred to as high-functioning or invisible, depending on who you read since she "acts out" rather than "acts in" and can hide this from most people... I've suffered years and years of verbal and emotional abuse and my wife will leave the marriage thinking everything is my fault... Prognosis is not good for high functioners b/c they're narcissistic and think everything is wrong with their mate who "makes" them act that way. Low functioning BPDs really hit bottom and can be admitted to mental hospitals. They typically know they have lots of problems and that they need help... For your wife to be successfully treated she has to treat it like a 12 step program, IMO. She has to get out of denial first. She has to admit that she's powerless, and she has to make amends. She is most likely abusive if she's BPD and that takes its toll on family member...esp kids. I'm reading Krieger's Family Guide to BPD...it's pretty good and has a lot of techniques for dealing with BPD people. A verbal abuse book like Ellis' Overcaoming Verbal Abuse is pretty good too. These books remind you that the attacks aren't personal and give you tips to deal with BPDs when they're raging. Hope you get more posts here.... good luck...
DragonSlayer Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Just realized I haven't posted here since Sept 27 :-/ I've gone through a lot since then...hopefully some of it has been healing...
Mz. Pixie Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 My mother suffered the same problem. What can I tell you?
Author mr314man Posted March 30, 2009 Author Posted March 30, 2009 thx DragonSlayer for your insight. I appreciate it. She is High Functioning, for sure. Her therapist and I both kind of steered BPD "traits" in her direction which she casually kind of semi-embraced. After the 'shock' a few days later, she started pointing out MY BPD symptoms (imagined) and decided to make me aware of them... (typical BPD...) So she knows, I know, her therapist knows... I see other BPD threads on here and read those too. Very helpful. I will get the eggshells book. My DW is smart enought to read all this, (I see yours did and got LIVID... I am expecting that too...) My strategy: se how this unfolds, see how much she "owns it", take the temprature in a few months, try to learn and use "management skills" and see where we are. There are entire websites dedicated to BPD Cluster B... I strongly suggest that people who are actively dating read up on it. I love my wife but wish I had been more aware of the signs. Again, thanks for the input. Sounds like yours was a real *B* at times. Mine isn't like that most of the time, the verbal **** is not that bad. Her bouts with jealousy and "acting out" are Oscar Worthy though.
mental_traveller Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Why not trade her in for someone who isn't a bunny boiler?
whichwayisup Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Google depressionfallout. There's info on there that will help and also the book as well.
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