Monty36 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Ok well heres my situation. I've known this girl since the fourth grade but we didn't become friends until our freshman year in high school. Since then we've basically become best friends. We were always there for each other no matter was going on in life whether it be her friends her boyfriends family etc. The thing that killed me was I was always secretly in love with her. We dated once in our junior year for about a week but then we both got caught drinking and basically had to separate. We remained friends again but I still loved her. Now things rekindled and we got back together and we've been together for the past five months. We both were deeply in love more than any other relationship we've ever been in, she told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her and so on, we even talked about our future together i.e kids our house etc. but in the last few weeks things got a little tense, we started to get into stupid arguments and got into stupid nothing fights. In the end she finally tells me that she only sees me as a boyfriend and not her best friend any more and that she loves me but she "needs some space" and so it ended. We went about a week without talking and finally she makes contact and says she misses talking to me. So now we talk but it's not as much as we used to and it's obvious were back to being friends but not like before we were dating. Now she's giving me strange signs that makes me think she still might want to be with me. She tells me she misses me, she at four in the morning thanked me for always being there for her in the past, and she is still wearing the promise ring I gave her. At the same time we barely talk any more like we used to and we don't hang out ever. I still really love this girl and I want more than anything to be with her again but I don't know what to think or do?? the only thing is im affraid that by telling her how much i miss and still love her will only push her away further. Any advice or insight on my situation would be greatly appreciated....
EllieBean Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Ask her if she might still be interested or not. Simples No mushy stuff, no "I love you... I miss you" because if she's not into you that will just make her feel uncomfortable and she'll back off your friendship. Just go for "Look, I'm still interested in you, so I was wondering if you still have any interest in me or if you just want to be friends". My guess is she probably isn't interested, and after you split she missed you as a friend, but she feels uncomfortable about being friends because of having dated you. But it's always worth asking, as long as you don't get all mushy and scare her off.
Author Monty36 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 in the past when we dated before this exact same thing happened where we were still technically friends but we just didn't keep in very good contact though then after about a year things started up again first as good friends, then best friends then as the first "real" dating experience with each other(how we were just dating). so do you think maybe i should just take the same approach and wait it out and see if she comes back or should i actually confront her about how she feels?
EllieBean Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Depends whether you feel you can stand to wait for however long it takes, and bear in might that she might not come back this time, so you could be waiting forever. If it was me I would want to know where I stood, so I could either get on with having a relationship with her or get on with getting over her. You could wait around for months and miss opportunities to meet other nice girls; good opportunities might pass you by while you're sitting around feeling all heartbroken, and after all that she might never come back to you. Perhaps you're considering waiting because you don't want to know what her answer is, because as long as you're waiting you still have hope? If you feel that you want to wait then do that, but personally I wouldn't do it in case I was wasting my time.
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