Will this pain ever stop?

[powahousealex]

Hello people my name is alex and im here to explain my situation with my life

 

I've been dating the same girll for the past 5 years already,we met when i was 16 and she was 17 .we were friends for about 8 months because i never saw her as a girl i would date.i was always a ladies man,dating,have sex,yada yada.i had a good life.but then my feelings started changing torward her because i looked at the girls i would date and see her and i thought she was an awsome girl.she is now 22 and im 21 .she was the girl that you would bring home to mom.she would buy me clothes.pay for dinner and take me places.she was the man in the relasionship pretty much.since we got together it was hard for me to leave a long lifestyle of women,i never stopped talking to girls even when i was with her,i always misstreated her and never paid attention,we broke up for 4 months that i did not really care about,then we got back together,ive always cheated and talked to other girls,till 6 months ago,i was honest loyal and changed my ways.we have been together for a long time and decided to get married,talked to her perents about us getting married but i never proposed.i pushed the wedding out for about 2 months she was planing and coordinating the whole event.about 3 weeks ago we were suppose to go book our wedding hall even tho i never officialy proposed to her and gave her an engagement ring.i panicked and told her no,she broke down,started crying and her perents her and got really mad at me.

 

 

Now i am in regret,i regret all those times i treated her so wrong and all the times she would call me when i would be out with my friends and she would be at home crying.she tells me now that she doesnt love me for what i did and she feels that i will always be a liar.

 

ive been a complete mess lately,im regret,i trully love her and dont want to let her go,she wont see me or talk to me at all.her perents dont want me around.ive been drinking for the past 3 weeks and havent eaten i think ive lost close to 10 pounds.

 

i really dont know what to do.im really lost right now and sometimes i feel like this is really over.im not sure what advice you guys and girls can give me

[powahousealex]

i have tried it,she just tell me that i am not going to change, she says that she is now thinking everything i have ever done and now she does not know if she is ever going to get back with me,

[gavinus]

well what you could do is if you are serious about this girl, buy an engagement ring, talk to her parents, then go see her and give her the ring. At the end of the day actions speak louder than words, because she won't believe your words, so try actions, good luck

[messed-mind]

My advice is that you made an absolute blinding mess of this - we all make mistakes but it looks like you made a catalogue of shocking errors because you could get away with it and now you want her back? To do what, the same again to her?

 

The truth is, you've proven to her through your actions (forget about your empty words of "I love you" on here) that you're unreliable, unfaithful and unloving. Love is an action, not a word; you never showed her love.

 

Even now that it's over, you're drinking and losing weight through starvation - do you think that this shows her you're a resilient and strong person? Or someone that shows extreme attention seeking behaviour when things get tough? How will this look to her 10 years down the line when you're married and she can't escape this behaviour?

 

I know this sounds harsh, but I'm telling you the truth here. Hounding and stalking her is not going to help.

[powahousealex]

I completely i agree,i've messed things up since day one,i guess im feeling regret of letting someone so good to me go. but what is one to do when all i do is think about her.i tried keeping busy and hanging out with friends.nothing works

 

i feel sometimes like i should let it go but then i feel like i should keep going after her,things wont fix them selves