Waiting4TheSun Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 There's a fairly big age difference between my boyfriend and me (15 yrs). I'm in my late twenties, he's in his early fourties. We've been dating for going on 4 yrs. I've been having a problem the last few months, I'm not attracted to him anymore. He's my best friend, and I really care for him, but little things are really irritating me and I don't know if the passion is something that will ever come back. First, he works from home online. He doesn't make a great deal of money (lol, who does with this ecomony anymore?). Anyway, honesly, I don't really know what he does all day while I'm at work, all I can see is nickle & dime work. I do know he plays a great deal of video games. He's an addict and on the computer 24-7.. even on the laptop in bed while I'll read. He refuses to work for anyone else, that reluctance is a little irritating, especially in a time of need. (a little history, he was a touring professional performer a little over 10 yrs ago, I think he got a little spoiled by that.) He's a major mama's boy, and he's in denial. He lost his licence a ways back right before we started dating. That's fine, it happens. Well, about a yr ago, he has permission to get it back..... um.. he hasn't yet!! During the day while I'm at work he has his mom run him all over the town for errands. They go grocery shopping together, making me think she's buying. This really, really bothers me. I feel like at his age he should be doing things like that on his own and/or with me!? He doesn't tell me anything about bills, even if I ask.. I think she's paying them, but of course he won't admit that. And the last thing.. he has horrible hygiene! He'll wash his clothes once or twice a month. He'll go days without brushing his teeth or taking a shower. It's really unattractive, and our sex life has been suffering for a long, long time. I've talk to him about it many times, he says he understands, but nothing changes. Despite all this, he's a wonderful person who will do anything for anyone. He's helped me so much in the past and it makes me feel so guilty that I'm feeling this way and that I can't get close to him. I don't know what to do. I guess I'm feeling like I'm dating someone who still needs to grow up a little, but, lol I don't even know what that means! I'm so confused and turned off. What do you guys think?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Ummm...I wouldn't be attracted to him either. He's not trying to be a good boyfriend, and he's not trying to make a good life for himself and you. Have you told him that you are not satisfied? You are young. Lots of young, beautiful men out there who are not stuck to their couches with super glue. Go find one.
yeex Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Uh. . .I can see why you are not attracted to him anymore. Seems like he is not very much of a man and worse off he is over 40 pulling this stuff. Sorry, besides that I do not have much advice to offer.
IcemanJB Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 This guy is a bum. I don't mean any disrespect to you. You clearly deserve a guy with more motivation and ambition than this guy. IMO, poor hygiene is a very good indicator of a lazy person. Sit him down and tell him you've been losing that attraction because of these issues.
samspade Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Despite all this, he's a wonderful person who will do anything for anyone. Besides all that, how did you enjoy the show, Mrs. Lincoln? Dump this loser!!!
You'reasian Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 There's a fairly big age difference between my boyfriend and me (15 yrs). I'm in my late twenties, he's in his early fourties. We've been dating for going on 4 yrs. I've been having a problem the last few months, I'm not attracted to him anymore. He's my best friend, and I really care for him, but little things are really irritating me and I don't know if the passion is something that will ever come back.? This guy is a little on the older side for you. First, he works from home online. He doesn't make a great deal of money (lol, who does with this ecomony anymore?). Anyway, honesly, I don't really know what he does all day while I'm at work, all I can see is nickle & dime work. Being employed these days is a good thing He's a major mama's boy, and he's in denial. He lost his licence a ways back right before we started dating. That's fine, it happens. Well, about a yr ago, he has permission to get it back..... um.. he hasn't yet!! During the day while I'm at work he has his mom run him all over the town for errands. They go grocery shopping together, making me think she's buying. This really, really bothers me. I feel like at his age he should be doing things like that on his own and/or with me!? He doesn't tell me anything about bills, even if I ask.. I think she's paying them, but of course he won't admit that. ? This might be normal behavior in countries that do not have alot of cars or easy access to them. Keep in mind, the economy is on its downward cycle - people don't make as much money and cut their spending. And the last thing.. he has horrible hygiene! He'll wash his clothes once or twice a month. He'll go days without brushing his teeth or taking a shower. It's really unattractive, and our sex life has been suffering for a long, long time. I've talk to him about it many times, he says he understands, but nothing changes.? You're supposed to brush 2-3 times a day to maintain healthy teeth. Clothes need to be washed once a week to prevent build up of germs. Despite all this, he's a wonderful person who will do anything for anyone. He's helped me so much in the past and it makes me feel so guilty that I'm feeling this way and that I can't get close to him. I don't know what to do. I guess I'm feeling like I'm dating someone who still needs to grow up a little, but, lol I don't even know what that means! I'm so confused and turned off. What do you guys think? How long have you guys lived together?
Citizen Erased Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I don't care if he's 20 or 60. There is no excuse for such a lack of hygiene.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 You can probably do way better. I'd tell him EVERYTHING you told us, and give him a chance to improve. If he doesn't, I'd recommend leaving.
samiam143 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Sit him down for a nice little reality check... Tell his lazy ass he's freaking gross and you are disgusted by his nasty habits. About the mama's boy issue, better be glad she's the one supporting his lazy habits instead of you being stuck in the middle of it. GET OUT AND GET OUT FAST lol
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