thereIgothinking Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 First time on here --bear with me! I was just divorced from the ex- who wouldn't have sex with me for 8 years, and I didn't cheat to protect my relationship with our kids. Lets say I was pent up during our separation leading up to the big D finalization last week. I met a woman on a dating site six months ago -- separated for several months also and her ex- had moved on. We really clicked from the get go and traded great e-mails for 3 months before finally meeting -- and we had sex that first night. OMG, and it was explosive. We saw each other as much as possible for a month working around work and kids schedules. And were saying we loved each other. She's 36, I'm 49. She's slender, beautiful, and our communication when we were together was stellar. I was pinching myself and trying not to smother her. Our schedules really became a challenge though and the communication during our apart time was getting not-so nice. I just wanted to be together, and she started commenting that all I wanted was sex. Of course, that was part of it, but our communication was so good when we were together I just wanted to see her more. But we communicated via e-mail and long phone calls between seeing each other, and that was becoming suspicious and there were alot of misunderstandings. Her PMS is very challenging. Very up and down in moods and she'll change within a day where we are e-mailing nice things and then when I suggest we get together she breaks up with me via a text or e-mail! Didn't want the pressure. She broke it with me 4 times in the next two months, but was apologetic the next day but didn't want to get together -- or 'couldn't'. We are friends with benefits now but no benefits. She has alot of job-home-ex- stresses and I just added to her stresses. She still loves me but I don't know if we'll see each other again. She even had what seemed a nervous breakdown this weekend that makes me realize maybe she's not the girl for me. But all I can do is think about her. I guess my question is -- how long do you wait for someone to come back to you if there seems to be no other but she's not emotionally available?
hopesndreams Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Her PMS is very challenging. Very up and down in moods and she'll change within a day where we are e-mailing nice things and then when I suggest we get together she breaks up with me via a text or e-mail! Didn't want the pressure. It wasn't worth it for the "explosive" sex?
Author thereIgothinking Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 Yeah -- damn it! Each time we've been together the sex has gotten better, too. But, its less and less frequent. I saw her two weeks ago -- the last time -- and wow it doesn't get better. But that was just the third time in five weeks, after almost every other day at the beginning. And actually, it really was just about the sex last time. She was so into it. And last week she was suggesting I come over and clean her closets 'wink wink', but then she can't see me because of stress when it comes down to getting together. Its unhealthy, but damn I want more. Becuase the next time will probably be even better...if there is a next time. How do you cut that loose? or make her work to be there for each other more?
kimbop Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 The need for sex has addled your brain. She doesn't seem to be very emotionally stable right now. Just be careful that you don't accidentally turn on some switch and she becomes fatal attraction psycho on you.
Author thereIgothinking Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 Oh, she doesn't have that in her. She just goes into a seclusion mode and makes little to no contact with friends or family during PMS. And she's late on the mortgage, got a job she hates, and her ex's new lover is not the kind of woman she wants her son around when the kid is with the ex. Alot to take -- I feel bad for her, but she wants no help. I just have to wait, and thats the hard part. Would it all be better when she gets to the other side of this? Don't know-- Do I just remain a friend? Its hard to do --
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