Butterflying Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Okay before I get smashed for dating married men...let me clear up one thing first. I DON'T LIKE DATING MARRIED MEN. It just happens to me often because of my dating standards. I am quite accomplished and single. I expect my dates to have similar backgrounds, interest, goals, and social status. Unfortunatly, most men who meet these critieria are married. When I know they are married, I usually turn them down. But recently, I met a guy named Pat who is about 20 years older than me. I learned that he was married on our first date. Out of frustration, I asked this man what he could possibly offer me besides sex. He basically said nothing. So I was extremly upset. Why the hell does this man think that I would "only" want sex from him? I actually told him that I was looking for something long term, committed, and intimate. He had the nerve to tell me that he wanted to be the only man in my life because he is jealous. So that made me more upset. Why the hell does a jealous man think I should commit to him when he isn't committed to me or his wife?
theraven Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Because that guy is an idiot!!! That's probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard... I would definitely never talk to that dude again! He just isn't getting what he wants from his wife sexually so he wants to get it from you.
samspade Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I DON'T LIKE DATING MARRIED MEN. It just happens to me often because of my dating standards. That's unfortunate, that it just "happens" to you like that. I guess it's like a piano falling on your head. What can poor little you possibly do about it? I expect my dates to have similar backgrounds, interest, goals, and social status Do you expect them to be unscrupulous, desperate homewreckers with no accountability? Why the hell does this man think that I would "only" want sex from him? Here's a guess: BECAUSE HE IS MARRIED AND YOU WENT ON A DATE WITH HIM ANYWAY. That's generally the realm of whoredom. He had the nerve to tell me that he wanted to be the only man in my life because he is jealous. So that made me more upset. Why the hell does a jealous man think I should commit to him when he isn't committed to me or his wife? You're right, what a nerve. You sound like you're in a great position to throw stones. Seriously, are you a troll?
alphamale Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Why the hell does a jealous man think I should commit to him when he isn't committed to me or his wife? if you want to see the real problem in this situation just look in the mirror
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Actually, she said she found out he was married on the first date. I've always been the girl who attracted married men and men with girlfriends. Not my thing, don't know why that happens, but it does. Lots of guys just want sex. It doesn't say anything about you. I always wondered why so many guys seemed to be attracted to me, but didn't want a RL with me. Well, who cares about them. I met a wonderful guy who loves ALL of me. It took a long time, but it happened. Keep dating, and don't waste time on losers. You'll find a good one eventually.
samspade Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I learned that he was married on our first date. All right, I apologize, I did not read that right. I hope you are at least checking for a ring.
Author Butterflying Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 That's unfortunate, that it just "happens" to you like that. I guess it's like a piano falling on your head. What can poor little you possibly do about it? Do you expect them to be unscrupulous, desperate homewreckers with no accountability? Here's a guess: BECAUSE HE IS MARRIED AND YOU WENT ON A DATE WITH HIM ANYWAY. That's generally the realm of whoredom. You're right, what a nerve. You sound like you're in a great position to throw stones. Seriously, are you a troll? Hello dumbass!!!! I told you I didn't know he was married until our date.
alphamale Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I've always been the girl who attracted married men and men with girlfriends. Not my thing, don't know why that happens, but it does. it happened because you allowed it to happen
alphamale Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Hello dumbass!!!! I told you I didn't know he was married until our date. I DON'T LIKE DATING MARRIED MEN. It just happens to me often because of my dating standards. :rolleyes:
Author Butterflying Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 Hello dumbass!!!! I told you I didn't know he was married until our date. Sorry this was posted before your correction. And no he wasn't wearing a ring. A lot of married men don't wear rings anymore. That is ALWAYS the first thing I look for.
samspade Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Hello dumbass!!!! I told you I didn't know he was married until our date. I just noticed that and apologized. In any case, I assume you mean you go one one date and that's it. Or are you actually dating these guys?
alphamale Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Or are you actually dating these guys? oh, trust me, she's dating them
redfathom Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Okay before I get smashed for dating married men...let me clear up one thing first. I DON'T LIKE DATING MARRIED MEN. It just happens to me often because of my dating standards.This explains a lot! It's your standards. Also, you say you USUALLY turn down married men, not that you always do. So you really have nothing to complain about her, I am sorry YOU come off this way.
Lindarose84 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 If I were you, the minute I found out he was married, I would've poured a drink over his head and walked out, but it doesn't seem like you did since you actually engaged this loser in a conversation. I think it's easy to be fooled into dating a married guy especially when you're talking about meeting online- it's easy to just lie and say you're single. But the fact that this has happened many a times signals that maybe you are actually seeking to date married men and it just doesn't happen by accident? There is nothing a married man has that sets him apart from a single guy except for a wife and maybe some kids so how you feel that your standards make it hard to date anyone but married men is a little puzzling to me. There are single guys out there that are intelligent, successful, etc. You need to get out of this victim phase and start being a bit more discerning with the men you choose to date. Married men who are out dating have no respect for their wives so why would they respect you? It's not really shocker that loser married guy said he expected you to be exclusive to him. Maybe you need to tweak your "dating standards" so you're not constantly ending up with married guys- no one wins in that situation.
redfathom Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 oh, trust me, she's dating themYep, she says she doesn't like dating them and she usually turns them down. So I don't know what she is getting so defensive towards SAM, he/she was spot on...
Author Butterflying Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 Actually, she said she found out he was married on the first date. I've always been the girl who attracted married men and men with girlfriends. Not my thing, don't know why that happens, but it does. Lots of guys just want sex. It doesn't say anything about you. I always wondered why so many guys seemed to be attracted to me, but didn't want a RL with me. Well, who cares about them. I met a wonderful guy who loves ALL of me. It took a long time, but it happened. Keep dating, and don't waste time on losers. You'll find a good one eventually. Thank you. And I think the problem is that MEN in general are attracted to women like us. When you have a lot going on for yourself, people will be attracted to you. And it doesn't exclude married men because they are still human. It just sucks because we want something better than the MM and scum balls.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 it happened because you allowed it to happen No, that's not true. I've done nothing to encourage it. I don't want some other woman's man.
alphamale Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Yep, she says she doesn't like dating them and she usually turns them down. So I don't know what she is getting so defensive towards SAM, he/she was spot on... indeed No, that's not true. I've done nothing to encourage it. I don't want some other woman's man. i see
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Thank you. And I think the problem is that MEN in general are attracted to women like us. When you have a lot going on for yourself, people will be attracted to you. And it doesn't exclude married men because they are still human. It just sucks because we want something better than the MM and scum balls. Yes!!!!! Stay true to yourself, keep trying to find what you want, and don't waste too much time on negative people or people who do not share the same values as you. If you find yourself in a situation like that again, don't feel bad about cutting the date short. You can do it in a civilized way. Thank you for meeting me, I don't want to date married people, best of luck.
Author Butterflying Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 If I were you, the minute I found out he was married, I would've poured a drink over his head and walked out, but it doesn't seem like you did since you actually engaged this loser in a conversation. I think it's easy to be fooled into dating a married guy especially when you're talking about meeting online- it's easy to just lie and say you're single. But the fact that this has happened many a times signals that maybe you are actually seeking to date married men and it just doesn't happen by accident? There is nothing a married man has that sets him apart from a single guy except for a wife and maybe some kids so how you feel that your standards make it hard to date anyone but married men is a little puzzling to me. There are single guys out there that are intelligent, successful, etc. You need to get out of this victim phase and start being a bit more discerning with the men you choose to date. Married men who are out dating have no respect for their wives so why would they respect you? It's not really shocker that loser married guy said he expected you to be exclusive to him. Maybe you need to tweak your "dating standards" so you're not constantly ending up with married guys- no one wins in that situation. I agree. But the conversation was more like a debate. I was so disgusted after he told me he was married that I just had to ask. I didn't pour drink on him. But the dinner ended early. I left him with the tab. And I am certain that he will not be contacting me ever again! My standards are quite simple. Perhaps I need to broaden my search geographically. But even the single men who share my interest and abilities have at least one of two other women they are interested in. And that leads to a competative game that I'm not willing to play. I'm looking for gentlemen who don't have complications in their life. And I ALWAYS stress that fact when I meet a man. The last MM I dated (one date) was embarrased to admit that he was married. But he told me he had never met a woman like me and he just couldn't pass an opportunity to know me better. It was selfish. But I appreciated his honesty. I was still angry that he wasted my time.
Isolde Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 This is one of the things men do that I don't understand. Why get married if you are just going to date other women "on the side"??? It's selfish, disrespectful to all involved. To think that a single woman would get involved with you despite, or because of the fact you're married or, turning it around, that you're entitled to date every interesting woman you meet even though you're married--just UGH. Sorry, had to rant.
redfathom Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I agree. But the conversation was more like a debate. I was so disgusted after he told me he was married that I just had to ask. I didn't pour drink on him. But the dinner ended early. I left him with the tab. And I am certain that he will not be contacting me ever again! My standards are quite simple. Perhaps I need to broaden my search geographically. But even the single men who share my interest and abilities have at least one of two other women they are interested in. And that leads to a competative game that I'm not willing to play. Did you think you could change his mind by debating him, because the thought of a wife at home and maybe some kids isnt enough to get him to do the right thing. HAHA! Also, you should read what you write, you said EVEN the single guys you date have other woman they are interested in, which again implys that you date married men. Also, you say you don't like to compete, if that's the case you should really stay away from married men.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Are you meeting them online? When I did that I stated right in my profile that I was not interested in meeting married men. I know it is hard to meet people who are dating others, but think of it this way. You don't really know them at all. So YOU don't know if you want to date them exclusively, either. Would you want some guy "knowing" you were the girl he wanted before you were sure about him? Don't think about it as a competition. Be confident in yourself. Know you have a lot to offer. If he chooses someone else, just think to yourself that he must be really boring to not choose to date you!! But most importantly, you should try to date others as well until you decide who you really want to know.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 This is one of the things men do that I don't understand. Why get married if you are just going to date other women "on the side"??? It's selfish, disrespectful to all involved. To think that a single woman would get involved with you despite, or because of the fact you're married or, turning it around, that you're entitled to date every interesting woman you meet even though you're married--just UGH. Sorry, had to rant. Unfortunately, this happens all too often.
Lindarose84 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I agree. But the conversation was more like a debate. I was so disgusted after he told me he was married that I just had to ask. I didn't pour drink on him. But the dinner ended early. I left him with the tab. And I am certain that he will not be contacting me ever again! My standards are quite simple. Perhaps I need to broaden my search geographically. But even the single men who share my interest and abilities have at least one of two other women they are interested in. And that leads to a competative game that I'm not willing to play. I'm looking for gentlemen who don't have complications in their life. And I ALWAYS stress that fact when I meet a man. The last MM I dated (one date) was embarrased to admit that he was married. But he told me he had never met a woman like me and he just couldn't pass an opportunity to know me better. It was selfish. But I appreciated his honesty. I was still angry that he wasted my time. Maybe the drink pouring is a bit much , it just infuriates me that people cheat on their spouses- just leave the marriage if it's come to the point that you feel you need to stray. But I digress, at least you left the date early (and left him with the check to boot!) I can understand where you're coming from not wanting a guy with complications. I think we all want that as women since it means less drama in his personal life (be it in his work life or dating life). For me, I get the "less complicated guy" by dating guys FAR older than me. Believe me, there are guys who are immature and complicated at any and every age, but I have found that I meet most of my standards (intelligence, success, maturity, less drama, etc) by dating older guys (I'm 25 so I date guys in their mid to late 30's). There are different ways of finding what you want without resorting to the married man, I'm sure you'll figure out what that is with time and practice. Good luck!
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