Alma Mobley Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 It is frowned on only by men with an insecurity problem who feel a need to bash older women. Well, that seems to happen a lot on LS, unfortunately.
Stockalone Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 It is frowned on only by men with an insecurity problem who feel a need to bash older women. I'll admit, I wouldn't date a woman in her late 30's or early 40's. I would be too concerned about what that means for my "goal/dream" of starting a family and having kids of my own when I get married. But I also can't see myself dating a 20 year old. Usually, I have not enough in common with women who are significantly older or younger than I am. I tend to get along better with women who are closer to my own age (30).
Alma Mobley Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Stockalone, But do you bash them? (Older women.) You are allowed your own prerogative! If not, I don't think that applied to you.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I don't mind if a guy doesn't want to date older women, I get that. What I find pretty crappy are the comments, the hate and the older men that expect someone 10 years younger or more to think their great and date them. Or even the 30 year old guys that think a 30 year old woman is too old.. Huh? I also here alot of comments here about guys saying it took them a long time to get it together and they wanted to live a wild life and all that and now with those benefits, they want their cake and to eat it too...but somehow women aren't allowed that luxury? Whatever. We are taking it more and more. I think we live in a generation where women get to do what they want more then ever before and frankly, I think it intimdates men so they try to force these control paramoters on us. I also think less women find themselves wanting the traditional marriage and relationships that our mothers had. Glad to hear your relationship worked out Alma
Alma Mobley Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 And that's all well and good, and I haven't seen you on here bashing women simply for being a certain age. SOME people, on the other hand, take any opportunity to make older women feel worthless. It is those "some people" that have bothered me and I don't post as much. The idea that a woman is somehow worthless when she reaches her 30th birthday bothers me, and the advice those people give to older women dating again is awful. I decided to just stay out of it for the most part. (Though now I'm probably back in for saying that.)
Alma Mobley Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Glad to hear your relationship worked out Alma Thank you.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 It is those "some people" that have bothered me and I don't post as much. The idea that a woman is somehow worthless when she reaches her 30th birthday bothers me, and the advice those people give to older women dating again is awful. I decided to just stay out of it for the most part. (Though now I'm probably back in for saying that.) I've thought the same thing many times. The advice that some of the people give isn't advice that's really given in kindness and wanting to see a woman be successful. It seems to be more about wanting women to fail and not find love. I've seen alot of women ask "well what am I suppose to do". And some "people" respond by saying "yeah that sticks, I feel really sad for you but oh well, why don't you try taking up knitting." It's the perception that if a woman doesn't find love by a certain very limited age, we are worthless, and if they didn't find love by a certain age, that's okay they are stil lwonderful and deserving to find it. I don't know where that kind of spirit and mentality comes from but I think it has to do more with the way these people feel about themselves and their personal negative experiences that reflect the way they feel about women. There is no genuine respect there.
Alma Mobley Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Well, there are some men on LS that have the mentality that women are useless after 30. That's fine. They can operate that way in their lives, I don't care. But I saw (or read really) a savage beating on someone who came here for advice and was told she was useless and undatable. That really bugged me and it was unfair to the poster. I too have been told that I am worthless and undatable as I am 37. Oh well, these men don't keep me up at night as I know I am a whole person first and foremost, and I have not had problems dating. If they try to put me in a box, it says more about them than it does about me. But I am going off again when I told myself that I would not!
Stockalone Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Stockalone, But do you bash them? (Older women.) You are allowed your own prerogative! If not, I don't think that applied to you. And that's all well and good, and I haven't seen you on here bashing women simply for being a certain age. SOME people, on the other hand, take any opportunity to make older women feel worthless. Older women certainly aren't worthless. I believe that late 30's and early 40's are a difficult time for women when they are looking for a LTR. I don't think there are that many quality men to pick from. Age is a factor as far as biology and reproduction is concerned, and for women that window closes faster. But I also don't think it's a good idea to become a father in your late 40's or early 50's. I wouldn't want to be in my 70's when my kids graduate from college. I don't mind if a guy doesn't want to date older women, I get that. What I find pretty crappy are the comments, the hate and the older men that expect someone 10 years younger or more to think their great and date them. Or even the 30 year old guys that think a 30 year old woman is too old.. Huh? Was that the guy who graciously overlooked the wrinkles on the 30 year old woman or something along the lines? I don't remember the exact wording but I had a good laugh when I read that, you can't take that serious. Even if those guys are serious, that certainly isn't how the majority of men think.
treyfan88 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I don't think age really matters at all. There are some people in their 50s who act like children--and kids at 18 who act like adults. It's a relative thing--age is based on the individual--not a number. I'm in a relationship with a man 10yrs older than me and we don't have any problems at all. I'm 20. He's 30.
burning 4 revenge Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I don't think age really matters at all. There are some people in their 50s who act like children-yes im 34 and all id really want to do if i had my druthers would be to play synthesizers all day and smoke hashish and drink opium poppy tea
Author darby1 Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 I don't understand why the followers of the world act as though our life does not belong to us? Why should I conform to rules of ideals that I don't agree with? I am 34 years old. I do not have my life together as a typical 34 yr old should. I am still figuring it all out. I look very young! feel very young! and my biological clock has yet to start ticking! People put the pressure on me to get married and have kids in the next 6 years or not at all.. I don't want to feel rushed into motherhood or a marriage. I got my period at 16yrs old while everyone else had theirs by 12. Am I really on the same clock as the norm? really? I don't think so. not in any way. I am mature in so many ways and a total child in other ways. I still like to party and hang with my friends, aspire new goals and attract young hot guys! It's who I am! and although it would be nice to have the "grown up" luxuries.. all in good time. Whats the hurry??? I've never been in a hurry to grow up.. ever! not even as a teenager. I like being young. So, why is that so frowned upon? Why should I "grow up"? To suit who exactly?? isn't youth what people spend all their money on anyway? Shouldn't I feel blessed? I say to all those who chose to judge my choices, you wish you could live so freely.
EllieBean Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 People put the pressure on me to get married and have kids in the next 6 years or not at all.. People aren't putting pressure on you to have kids within the next 6 years: biology is. I'm in my 30s and still don't have kids, but I'm under no illusions that the window of opportunity will remain open until whenever I'm ready; I know I need to have kids within the next few years or my chances of conceiving will be severely reduced. I really hope you don't wait thinking that you have plenty of time, and then find yourself 40 and unable to conceive...
soserious1 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 A gal who works upstairs from me had her first - HER FIRST - child at the age of 49. Both are happy and healthy and, in fact, her daughter is very bright and at the top of her class now at the age of 11. so she's 60 and has an 11 yr old ? I'm all for people doing their own thing but can you imagine dealing with a 15 yr old at age 64? lol,better her than me:)
MeaganRaye Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I notice that (40s, 50s)older men are much more aggressive and notice me more than the guys in my age group
Lostgurl Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I used to think that age never mattered either. I'm with a man 10 years and 2 days my senior. Now i'm not so sure. He says that he has done and seen everything and is content to stay home and do nothing with me and our family. Now, i'm beginning to see where the age does become a problem. Because there is friction there. I HAVE'NT seen and done all that i want, hell i haven't really done anything. But i'm with someone who is finished with all that and loves being a homebody. Yay, i get to watch some more tv and read another book or two. whooo hoo.
Trialbyfire Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I don't understand why the followers of the world act as though our life does not belong to us? Why should I conform to rules of ideals that I don't agree with? I am 34 years old. I do not have my life together as a typical 34 yr old should. I am still figuring it all out. I look very young! feel very young! and my biological clock has yet to start ticking! People put the pressure on me to get married and have kids in the next 6 years or not at all.. I don't want to feel rushed into motherhood or a marriage. I got my period at 16yrs old while everyone else had theirs by 12. Am I really on the same clock as the norm? really? I don't think so. not in any way. I am mature in so many ways and a total child in other ways. I still like to party and hang with my friends, aspire new goals and attract young hot guys! It's who I am! and although it would be nice to have the "grown up" luxuries.. all in good time. Whats the hurry??? I've never been in a hurry to grow up.. ever! not even as a teenager. I like being young. So, why is that so frowned upon? Why should I "grow up"? To suit who exactly?? isn't youth what people spend all their money on anyway? Shouldn't I feel blessed? I say to all those who chose to judge my choices, you wish you could live so freely. You don't need to conform, as long as you're happy with your own decisions and don't run around hurting people in your life choices through predatory or abusive behaviours. If you look at melodymatters, she also has a large age-gap relationship where both she and her husband are extremely happy and hurting no one else. I think this is wonderful.
marlena Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 so she's 60 and has an 11 yr old ? I'm all for people doing their own thing but can you imagine dealing with a 15 yr old at age 64? lol,better her than me Children deserve young,strong,energetic, beautiful parents who will still be around when they become adults. To everything there is a time and a season....
carhill Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 My dad was 62 when I graduated from high school. No regrets having an older parent, even though he died 7 years later. He did a great job
marlena Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Carhill, I am sorry about your Dad and yes, judging from your posts, he did do a great job!!
carhill Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Thanks and it was a generation ago so no worries. Parenting often is a passion which only reaches full beauty once the flower has faded and the seeds dispersed to the wind. I think the one topical perspective I learned from having older parents is that, even if one appears old by the calendar, one doesn't have to feel or think old. My parents personified this philosophy. As Gloria Stewart said in "Titanic", looking at her reflection in an old mirror salvaged from the ship, "This was mine. How extraordinary! ... The reflection has changed a bit".
treyfan88 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I used to think that age never mattered either. I'm with a man 10 years and 2 days my senior. Now i'm not so sure. He says that he has done and seen everything and is content to stay home and do nothing with me and our family. Now, i'm beginning to see where the age does become a problem. Because there is friction there. I HAVE'NT seen and done all that i want, hell i haven't really done anything. But i'm with someone who is finished with all that and loves being a homebody. Yay, i get to watch some more tv and read another book or two. whooo hoo. You know, sometimes I feel like that too in my relationship! My therapist tells me the best way to get out of that feeling is to just forget about your SO and do what YOU want to do, regardless if he's already "been there" or not. Get some friends your own age and do all those crazy things you want to do without him.
IcemanJB Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Maybe I'm the exception here, but I turn 23 on Tuesday and the last thing I want with a girl is a fling. That just doesn't appeal to me at all. The thing is, most people (girls and guys) my age are still in "college" mode, which sucks for me. Yet yesterday I agreed to meet up for coffee with my 20 year old ex girlfriend soon...when will I learn? But times certainly have changed. My dad informed me last week that he was married at my age - that means my mom was 21. MARRIED. Maybe he was hinting at something, I don't know. But he also stated that I'm wayyyy better off financially that he was at this age. Still kind of interesting how things change. I would not even consider marriage if I had a low income.
missdependant Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Yet yesterday I agreed to meet up for coffee with my 20 year old ex girlfriend soon...when will I learn? Noooooo.
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