Kage111 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Its been almost 6 months since she broke up with me. We've been NC for almost 3. Out of nowhere, last night, she messages me. Basic gist of the fairly long message is she misses being my friend and wishes we were still talking. I am not over her. I know this for a fact. Why did she do this? What do I do? I'm tempted to send the "I have enough friends" message, but part of me wants her back so bad... Should I even dignify her with a response?
messed-mind Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 She did it maybe because she's over it and feels that there is a change to salvage a friendship? My ex contacted me after 12 months at christmas time saying that she missed christmas with me and my family, but by then I felt nothing for her, and couldn't care less if she missed me. What's important here is that you're not over it, and you risk opening up all the wounds and being right back at square one. You could try honestly replying saying that you're not over it, still hurting and that for you to move on it's best for you to stay out of touch. If she is truly a friend, she'll respect that and do it. Personally, for me, friends with the ex would never work. They're out of my life for a reason, why would I let them in again to f'ck it all up?
hopesndreams Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Do not let her know you are still pining for her, it's just a way for her to get an ego fix. Do not reply. She's fishing. In her message she wants to be "friends". You don't want to be friends with her so just ignore it, you want more, and she isn't about to give you that otherwise she would have said that in her message.
Yamaha Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 do not let her know you are still pining for her, it's just a way for her to get an ego fix. Do not reply. She's fishing. In her message she wants to be "friends". You don't want to be friends with her so just ignore it, you want more, and she isn't about to give you that otherwise she would have said that in her message. word!!!!!!!!
Author Kage111 Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 Thanks everyone. I even asked all of my friends what I should do and they said the exact same thing. "Don't reply." So I haven't... I do have another question though. I see her almost every single day, it's inevitable... And I usually just hide behind my friends or pretend I don't notice her. Lately I've been thinking I could smile, wave, and keep walking... Is this better? But now that she sent this message I just feel like she'll think it means I want to be friends again when I don't... I just wanted to be more civil.
BCCA Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Being civil means that if she was right behind you, you might hold a door, you would say excuse me if the situation warranted it, and youre not going out of your way to be a douche to her. It doesnt mean to be her friend. Do what feels right and works best for you, who cares what she thinks. I do the same thing with ex's, most guys do. Dont guilt trip yourself into being nicer than youre ready for so you dont look like you still care. Shes like a dry well, nothing you want or need will ever come out of her.
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