AlishaR Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I am recently married, 1 year and about 6 months. We have been fighting alot and he has been ignoring the issues and playing world of warcraft all the time!! Im now 24 and hes 23. We got married young, however brought up knowing what it takes to be married and were both in it together. I thought. We have no children. We fight and he leaves and comes back and i try and draw him out, however he doesnt ever wants to talk about it. Now after a short time. He has left me. and is backing living with his parants. I realize how immature he sounds and is acting. Hes isolated himself from everyone thats trying to talk sense into him. Friends... family... everyone. He snapped? To much pressure? I dont want this and am willing to do whatever i can to restore the marriage arrangment. Its been 2 months almost sinse he left. And Im staying away and giving him the space he needs. completely.... no calls, no crying... just going on with life. Waiting...... for something to change? His job is stressful, we have a condo we can barely afford. He took on to much at once and now... hes totally gone off his rocker........ he wants to be separated.... im lost
imagine Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Discuss the situation with all those that matter. His parents. Your pastor. Marriage must be respected. He is not doing this. Get a councilor for you. Post here, often.
mendsley Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Hmmmmmm....from what I have seen from other posts simular to this and maybe someone else can back me up on this, but I would be willing to bet that he has him self a fling. I really do not see a person just leaving and not even worried about it. I mean he is not even calling you or checking on you. The thing I would be asking myself is "He left and does not even care enough to check on me?"why?do I want someone like this in my life?. Maybe he is having some kind of mental imbalance, if you suspect it a mental deal than he really needs help. You being his wife should work on trying to help him if this is the case. My opinion is he is seeing someone else. Give him time, let him work his mind out. DO NOT contact him, and if he calls act like everything is fine and DON'T ask what he is up too, keep it short - maybe don't even answer then call him back in a couple of days. Eventually he will wonder WTF is she up too and then, he will want to talk. One last thing, I can contest that waiting for him is very, very bad mentally. What I mean is, stay married and make sure if you do not want a divorce let him go and file. But, do not make it your life to wonder what he is up to, why this is happening and who's fault is it. MIKE
Beautiful Inside Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 wow Medsley could be right....sad but it could actually be the whole reason why he's not even showing an once of sadness or wanting to fix anything!!!! this is just weird and doesn't make any sense to me. im so sorry your going through this right now...my bf and i dated for a while he proposed and we've been engaged for over a year now and we've had so many small and huge fights to were we were both at the point of "im over this ****" you know but every time i go and talk to his mom and my mom they say the same thing to me. relationships are hard work and t takes a lot of patience and understanding etc... so it always calms me down a bit but i always come back to him always! i can never imagine my life without him really....so it kills me to know that your husband can just leave and not even call you or check to see how your doing from the friend side you know?.... thats why im starting to think maybe there is someone else?....
Gunny376 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I am recently married, 1 year and about 6 months. We have been fighting a lot and he has been ignoring the issues and playing world of war-craft all the time!! I'm now 24 and hes 23. We got married young, however brought up knowing what it takes to be married and were both in it together. I thought REALLY! I'm 52 years old did twenty years in the United States Marine Corps, was married for twelve years, shacked up with another woman for 6-1/2 years, have read a ton of books/ articles about men & women, relationships, cross-gender communication, the difference between men & women, romance, seduction, sex, etc....... have a college degree,....yada~yada! So please Dear One ~ enlighten me? What at 24 do you know about all of the above ~ that somewhere along the line I missed? I'm not coming down on you. What I'm trying to get across to you is that NONE of us ever know what it is that is to make a marriage work. And I don't care who you are, what family you come from, or he comes from, your or his religion, how much education you have. Bill Clinton proved that point when he had sex in the Oval Office. And Hillary made him sleep on the couch in the White House for a year and half. (His very words!) I think there's a Mistress alright and her name is War-Craft! Per you generation "gaming" is a significant cause of divorce. And rightfully so! It doesn't have to be another women ~ it could be deer hunting, fishing, "gaming" gambling, drugs, drinking, work, ~ virtually anything. It cross-generational. Anything that detracts from the primary relationship ~ causes the woman to "bitch, moan an groan" because he's paying more attention to his "hobbies" than he is to her? During the "courtship" he focuses all of his attention on you, but once you get married? Its like the show, "Mad About You!" in which the wife complains? "Before we were married? You use to take to me to nice restaurants, bring me sweet small gifts, flowers, candy? But now that we're married? You don't do any of that any more? Why?" Paul's reply? "That why I got married so I wouldn't have to do all that stuff anymore!" Emotionally? Men are about 10 years behind women as a general rule, so with your being 24 and his being 23, you're basically dealing with a 13 year old who's in to gaming and "War-Craft" While he's dealing with an emotional/ maturity equivalent of a 34 old 'man'.
Kic Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 How many hours a day does he play WoW? How many hours a week does he play WoW? Some players of that game may exhibit addictive behaviors and let game time interfere with other responsibilities. The game also serves as an escape, so it is easier for him to "ignore the issues" that you both are having. A stressful job (long hours there, too?) also does not help. Hardcore gamers are less likely than the average Joe to have found someone else - perhaps he feels that you are holding him back from playing as much as he would like. If you have an opportunity to talk to his parents, you may want to ask how many hours he is playing while living there. It may be more than the amount spent when he lived with you.
Lizzie60 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 You are both waaayyy too young to be married.. I know it's done.. but really.. he's 23.. you're 24.. and I bet you're way more immature than he is... of course .. he's completely addicted to an Internet game. Responsibilities of marriage is waaayyy too overwhelming for him.. IMO.. My advice: move on.. you have no kids.. so this is the best time to divorce.. Don't waste your time with this man.. it will NOT get better.. sorry.
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