Not the love ace Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Okay, I don't know what I am doing. I consider myself to be outgoing, caring, loyal, funny, friendly, open-minded and interesting person. Most people who meet me generally like me and think I'm really cool and interesting, at least from what they tell me. I'm a very social person and always have been. I'll engage in conversations with any type of person, and I mingle with people of all types of race, culture, religion, creed, sexuality etc. I usually get along with most people I meet. However I can't seem to make any friends. I go to social events and place, parties and sometimes just walk around places but I can never make any friends. It bothers me because I know some people who aren't the most interesting, lazy, kind-of-an-*******, bland personality but they obtain all the friends in the world and for some reason people gravitate towards them. Me on the other hand, I would say I am kind of out there, I make people laugh, I do crazy-wacky things and I always seem to capture people and keep their attention, but I find myself being lonely most of the time. I find myself alone and bored. I have only 2 friends who I hang out with, but one is really lazy, and always wants to do the same thing (friends house and smoke pot), and the other is just really paranoid and scared to do anything worthwhile. I try everything. Clubs, social events etc. I'll even mingle with people randomly on the street if I see there's something interesting in them. I try meeting people who are into the same things I am into, but even that becomes a task at times. Another problem I think is that I am drug free. I don't drink or smoke, and most people my age do. That is one thing that makes me feel really uncomfortable and kind of makes me an "outcast" per se. Even my ex-girlfriend who isn't the most social or hasn't been the most social person in the world nor has does she sport the most vibrant personality; in a 4 month period has a new boyfriend and like 23 friends (almost literally) whom she hangs out with late night, every night. This girl used to be alone all the time in her room, and had no friends. And was pretty anti-social before she met me, HAS MORE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE in probably 7 years. I'm going to be 23, and I hate being at home on Friday or Saturday nights bored out my ass. I hate being out late at night by myself on the weekends watching other people with their friends have a good time going home on the train together. I hate being alone. I just don't know what it is I am doing wrong or right. I can't make friends at my college, neighborhood, NO WHERE! The past two weeks, and I hate to admit this, but I've cried. I've cried literally because I have no friends. For the past 2 years I've haven't had any friends and its killing me. Any advice? Help? Thank you.
not.who.you.think Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I like you. you seem nice. Maybe youre coming on alittle strong. You know? friendships take tiem to develop and a lot of people don't like talking to someone they don't really know for too long. Also if you start acting like youre friends right off the bat it can make them uncomfortable. Or find people more like yourself. Its hard to be the outsider trying to make friends with someone already in a group. You need to find an in. into the group that is and be cautious not to upset them or make them dislike you. So be alittle less outgoing, alittle less wacky alittle more just chill... Just to start then open a can.... buena suerte.
nana yaw II Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 what are your interests? Try finding a club that suits your interests and go from there.
Author Not the love ace Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 I like you. you seem nice. Maybe youre coming on alittle strong. You know? friendships take tiem to develop and a lot of people don't like talking to someone they don't really know for too long. Also if you start acting like youre friends right off the bat it can make them uncomfortable. Or find people more like yourself. Its hard to be the outsider trying to make friends with someone already in a group. You need to find an in. into the group that is and be cautious not to upset them or make them dislike you. So be alittle less outgoing, alittle less wacky alittle more just chill... Just to start then open a can.... buena suerte. Thank you. ahaha. Well, I am a reserved person. I don't rush friendships or relationships. I am always very patient and take things easily. However, it just seems hard. I know people who can make friends one day, and chill the next. I don't try to hard, at least I think so. I wouldn't say I am desperate because I can obviously be lonely, especially for a long time. It just that its seriously getting to me. It kills me to see people having fun (don't get me wrong, I LOVE to see people happy, you know?), and I'm lonely. It sucks.
loser101 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I'm sorry to hear you feel so lonely. have you tried organising events and inviting people along who have common interest with you? nothing major. I mean by 'events' just things like to watch a particular movie, or a sports event in a bar somewhere (that's really popular with guys).
Recommended Posts