syd Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months, and he came to me the other day and said that he is going to start going out with a group of guys from his gym. He said he would only be going out like once a month, which in most relationships that prob isnt that big of a deal but he has kids that spend every other weekend with him and he is in the army and has training the other weekend. So that only leaves one weekend for just me and him! Should I be hurt by this? I know there are women that hang out with his group at the gym, so I dont know if they are going out too! He is in his late 30s, doesn't drink or anything and I know that he loves me very much, but this bothers me so I need some help on how I should confront him or if I should say anything at all!
angie2443 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I would be bothered by this because you only have one weekend with him. Relationships require a certain amount of quality time and one weekend per month isn't much at all. At the same time, it's good to have a night appart every once in a while. I don't know what I'd do in this situation. Maybe someone else will have a better answer. One thing though, if other women come and hang out with his group, then it isn't a guys night out and you should be invited too.
Author syd Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 Angie, thanks for you opinion! I think your right a night appart every once in a while is fine, but I guess another reason that this is hard for me is bc I just moved to a new city and I dont really know anybody, so its not like I have anyone I can go out with while he's out with the guys! I will just be sitting at home watching movies or something!
curiousnycgirl Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I am entirely confused, I've never heard of boys night out being on the weekend. Why is he planning that?! That's just dumb! Weeknights are for the boyus - weekends are for family and girlfriends. You can tell him I said so.
Lucky_One Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Don't you see him on the weekends that he has his kids? Or don't you spend any weeknights with him, cooking in or watching movies or just hanging out? And I can't imagine that he would be spending the entire weekend with his buddies, so couldn't you get the rest of it?
angie2443 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I am entirely confused, I've never heard of boys night out being on the weekend. Why is he planning that?! That's just dumb! Weeknights are for the boyus - weekends are for family and girlfriends. You can tell him I said so. I didn't think about this! Your right, a night out with the guys or girls is usually a weeknight. Maybe he could compromise here?
Author syd Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 I agree that if he wants to go out with the guys during the week thats fine, so I will have to talk to him about that! Thanks! I do see him during the week and on the weekends but he usually has the kids until there mother gets out of class which is sometimes around 9. The reason it bothers me about it being on the weekend is because that is our only alone time, when we dont have the kids! He does get to go out while he is at his army training so its not like I am trying to prevent him from going out and having a good time its just that I think he should make time for us!
curiousnycgirl Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I agree he needs to make time for you, but make sure you are not asking for too much. His army buddies are probably a separate group of guys than the one he's talking about in this instance. So using that argument is not going to be a winning position. You need to stay calm and leave the emotion elsewhere - otherwise you will come across as demanding, clingy and a bunch of other things he won't like. There is no reason he cannot spend a night (or even two) a month out with the guys - but I'm still willing to bet he did not mean weekend.
imagine Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 A healthy marriage should get roughly 15 hours a week quality time. (Research quality time). Does yours get it?
Enema Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 So, you see him: - During the week - 1 full weekend out of 4 - Half another weekend because of kids And you're complaining because he wants to spend a portion (not a whole weekend) with some friends. Getting a little bit too possessive. Find your own friends so you don't need him so much.
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