chrissreef Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 "Hey! I really wanted to call you these past couple of weeks but decided it was best not to call even as friends yet. My car broke and all sorts of expensive things but I Am putting a check for the $ I owe you in the mail this week! Yipee! I hope you and my lee (our dog) are doing well! ~Ness" What would you do? I want her back and also don't want her thinking I'm "mad/angry" at all this. 24yr 2.5 yr fiancee left me for her 36yr personal trainer. it's been 3 months but 3 weeks since last contact. In the back of my head I "think" she could come back... but I don't see much effort/indication of this other than that she needs space to "figure herself out". I just want to go back to dating... or friends "if" she wasn't dating someone else. I don't think I can handle being a "friend" while she's with the guy she left me for.
hopesndreams Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Want her back? She is sending you a cheque for whatever money she owes you and hopes your happy with your dog, Lee? I really wanted to call you these past couple of weeks but decided it was best not to call even as friends yet. She's full of herself. (period) She ain't coming back, sorry.
Author chrissreef Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 yea... at least not anytime soon. why would her new man allow us to be "friends" if they are serious?
hopesndreams Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Her new man doesn't see you as competition. End of.
BCCA Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Her new man doesn't see you as competition. End of. Or she's told him youre a pathetic ex. She ain't coming back, sorry. Sad to say, it certainly does not sound like it. I would be surprised if they check actually came, and if it does, you take it straight to the bank. If it clearr, count yourself lucky. Aside from that, you and your dog will have to find new company. That was the lamest email ever 'hey dont be mad i havent paid you back, i had bills...its coming, take care of the dog' Didnt ask how you were even.
famke Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 If she even wants you back.. do you want her back? I mean.. she left you for her personal trainer, right? so you trust her? aren't you mad as hell? don't you think you deserve more... like a fiancee that wouldnt cheat on you? once a cheater, (almost) always a cheater.
kizik Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 She sucks. You can't see that yet, b/c you're still in love with her. It's too soon, chris, for you to fully understand how badly she hurt you. In six months, you'll be laughing at yourself for caring about this evil troll.
alphamale Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 What would you do? nothing In the back of my head I "think" she could come back... she's not coming back, the sooner you accept this fact the easier it will be
Trialbyfire Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 She's not trying to get you back in that email. My guess would be that she's had a moment of guilt about the money and is trying to hold you off in some way, while making herself feel better. Stay away, don't respond and hope the cheque's really in the mail.
sugarmomma Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Sorry to say but I don't think she is coming back either.
Author chrissreef Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 thanks all it's weird, i woke up and had a sick feeling and said "oh man, she's not coming back"... then I got this email. last time I had a sick feeling in the morning, she sent me a text. it's weird, like i'm connected. she mentioned "friends" and now I'm thinking it's my fault... because i mentioned friendship and letting "fate" take us a while back and then tried to change it to "date me again, second chance" but I think the friend thing stuck. I feel like things "might" have been different if I had stuck to "you will lose me if you don't come back" so that when she was teetering back and forth, she might have tipped my direction more. Or not, maybe I'm overthinking. Man, love is a messed up thing sometimes. kind of sucks too b/c we have so much fun together, she'd be a great friend... just if this guy wasn't there. I don't want to hear about their fun. I just want to go to shows, go dancing, watch movies etc. like we used to. hmmmm. I'll have to think about this. maybe i can have a "whatever, F it" friend attitude to help protect me. hmmm
Beautiful Inside Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Why would you want her back she left you for someone which means she was probably cheating on you while you 2 were still together.... i know its hard but you'll meet someone 100 times better who will never ever want to hurt you because they truly love you.
BCCA Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 thanks all it's weird, i woke up and had a sick feeling and said "oh man, she's not coming back"... then I got this email. last time I had a sick feeling in the morning, she sent me a text. it's weird, like i'm connected. she mentioned "friends" and now I'm thinking it's my fault... because i mentioned friendship and letting "fate" take us a while back and then tried to change it to "date me again, second chance" but I think the friend thing stuck. I feel like things "might" have been different if I had stuck to "you will lose me if you don't come back" so that when she was teetering back and forth, she might have tipped my direction more. Or not, maybe I'm overthinking. Man, love is a messed up thing sometimes. kind of sucks too b/c we have so much fun together, she'd be a great friend... just if this guy wasn't there. I don't want to hear about their fun. I just want to go to shows, go dancing, watch movies etc. like we used to. hmmmm. I'll have to think about this. maybe i can have a "whatever, F it" friend attitude to help protect me. hmmm If she wanted more than friends, you would know. It has nothing to do with what you mentioned before, it has to do with her wants. She wants you to agree to being friends, even though she knows it would be the most one sided friendship of all time. Youre worrying too much about how you said it, it really doesnt matter. You dont want to be her friend. Its pointless. Its never going to be what you need/want it to, and youll be asking for dissapointment. And believe me, first chance she gets shes gonna tell you how her and this guy were doing X,Y, and Z...just to hammer home the point that you two are just friends. Tell her to kick rocks, litterally. You dont need anything else from her anymore, ever.
Author chrissreef Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 I want to be friends with BCCA! damn, something tells me he'd be fun as hell to hang with. /cheers!
socialight Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 you should write her a check for $1,000 with a thank you note for saving you the time, lawyer fees, frustration and embarrassment of a nasty divorce.
kimbop Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Wow. I can't believe that she had the nerve to send you an email as if she did nothing wrong but make a little boo-boo. She has absolutely no remorse for pounding your chest in and pulling out your still beating heart with her talons. Thank god that you didn't marry her. Since the marriage didn't go through, you should get the ring back and whatever money she owes you. The email is a recognition of her debt and serves as paper trail. You can write back to her stating how much in exact amount she owes you and set up a date. If she doesn't pay back by then, hull her a** to small claims court. This is just an option....... my ex owed me money when we broke up. I demanded that he write me a check and even post date it if he didn't have enough money in the bank. To his credit, he still cared to make sure the money was repaid.
RecordProducer Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 why would her new man allow us to be "friends" if they are serious?"Allow"?!?! Can you please explain the concept of a man "allowing" his female partner to be friends with her ex?
BCCA Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I want to be friends with BCCA! damn, something tells me he'd be fun as hell to hang with. /cheers! Thanks, I consider all of you friends. We have to be there for eachother, and I can tell you first hand that the people here have stopped me from doing stupid things and given me great advice. If she doesn't pay back by then, hull her a** to small claims court. Unless we're talking a couple thousand plus, waste of time. It just breeds so much anamosity, and if she said she was sending it, take it at face value until it becomes obvious that its not coming. Say a few weeks, at that point, you can just respond to the email with a 'havent gotten the check, did you send it yet?', but dont respond until then. If it comes, take it to the bank, and be done with the whole thing. Can you please explain the concept of a man "allowing" his female partner to be friends with her ex? Trying to control who someone keeps as friends is futile. I think we as guys feel like ex bf's are only around for two reasons: sex or reconciliation. Even with that said, you either trust your gf enough to let her hang out with who she wants, or you dont trust her and have no business being together. She could cheat at any time, with anyone, if she so desired. Being paranoid all the time is no way to live.
Recommended Posts