lost85 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Hey guys, well the ex and I broke up last year in October, really messy. Im 22 and him 19. Anyway, I reached out in February to be friends with him, and it was awkward at first, but our friendship blossomed. I ofcourse told him I was completely over him when really I still wanted him back. He probably knew deep down I still loved him. Anyway, we kept this "friendship" going with him ALWAYS calling me every few days to update me on which club he went to or how much he had been drinking etc. Then he took me out for coffee on my birthday and fed me cake...it was as though we never broke up. We had fun together. He was flirting alot with me and the next night he called and said it was good seeing me. I was ecstatic! I thought he was falling for me again and that he had had enough of this clubbing lifestyle but I was wrong! We ended up hooking up a couple days later and we had a good talk about why we did'nt work out. He said he still had feelings for me and that if we met in 3 or 4 years, it would definitely work out. He said he is not ready to be in a relationship with me (considering we went out for 2 years, i think that's BULL****). And the best he can offer me is hook up buddies. I said no. Then after that he ignored me for 5 days. I cracked the ****s at him and asked why he was not calling me anymore...he said that he wanted to give me space and that he wants me to get over it. I felt really used as I went to be there for him when he was feeling down and we ended up hooking up instead. So he used me to make himself feel better and now I end up not having his friendship either. I'm really sad because he is the only person in the world who knows me the best and I miss him so much. Now its been a week since I cracked the ****s at him and he has'nt bothered to call or talk abt what happened. I agree that I need time to COMPLETELY get over him, but I dont think he's ever going to call me again. I feel like I've lost a part of me and I don't know what to do? Im proud of myself that I havent called him and pretended that Im okay and what happened was fine like I would usually do, this time I think I have accepted that ITS GONE FOREVER. And quite frankly, Im tired of chasing and if he does'nt appreciate me even as a good friend, why should i bother callling him?
Beautiful Inside Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 No man is worth crying and crying over if their not crying over you as well...obviously he was already over it a while back, that should have been motivation enough to move on i know its extremely hard but you have to have some self dignity and say i have to move on! you need to be with someone who wants to be with you, and trust me you will meet this person you have to really let yourself get over your ex fully and then you can put yourself out there again....im sorry your going through this....
era Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I thought he was falling for me again and that he had had enough of this clubbing lifestyle but I was wrong! We ended up hooking up a couple days later and we had a good talk about why we did'nt work out. He said he still had feelings for me and that if we met in 3 or 4 years, it would definitely work out. He said he is not ready to be in a relationship with me (considering we went out for 2 years, i think that's BULL****). And the best he can offer me is hook up buddies. I said no. Listen to what he saying to you. I don't believe he's playing games. This is him being honest with you...and I know it hurts real bad. I consider his actions pretty indicative of a normal 19yr old boy.
messed-mind Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Firstly, don't beat yourself up about the mistakes you've made here. You're young and he's your first love. I felt really used as I went to be there for him when he was feeling down and we ended up hooking up instead. So he used me to make himself feel better and now I end up not having his friendship either. On the above quote; he only used you because you LET him use you. Yes, he's a bad person because he used you, but you made the naive mistake of playing the "friends" card when secretly wanting him back. Now listen to me on this point: I absolutely promise you that you'll meet someone else and move on. I met my first love when I was 21 and I was absolutely shattered when she broke up with me after 5 years - I wanted to die, commit suicide, you name it. I was left with a massive empty hole that I though would never be replaced. But it was. I worked on myself, I lost a bit of weight, went to the gym regularly, saw old family, took up new hobbies - I'm twice the man I am today for the breakup she caused. I understand that she moves from relationship to relationship now. My now girlfriend and relationship is also as good, if not better than my previous because I learned from the mistakes I made the first time. You will get through it, but give yourself time to be upset; the only healer is time, and NO CONTACT. You're correct in saying you should not bother calling him, he's been brutally honest with you in that he wouldn't mind hooking up with you, but that's absolutely the bottom line. You deserve better.
Author lost85 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 thank you so much guys!! I have been feeling down since the message and I have been wanting to call him but I still havent. I guess he doesnt care abt me enough to call me either. It's just scary how someone can mean SO MUCH to you for 2 years and then suddenly they vanish from your life??? it is empty inside and I miss his company. But I guess he doesnt miss my company. It does bother me that HE has ignored me and yet again he walks away with no wounds whereas I am left here broken. It sucks!!
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