Judythatsme Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I've been with my boyfriend for almost four years now. He's very sarcastic and likes to make jokes, and sometimes he goes a bit too far...I'm not sure if he's crossing that emotional abuse line. An example...we went to dinner with my friends the other night. During conversation with my friends, he said something like "judy's so klutzy all the time..." "judys often confused a lot, it's okay..." "judy doesn't know what way is up, what way is down." ..all these little jokes. anyway, after dinner, i told him i wasnt cool with those..and he said, he jokes and thats the only way he knows to make conversation..is by joking and poking fun. He said he doesn't know my friends, and that's all he can think to talk about with them..making joking comments. I said .."well, maybe you could tame down your jokes about me, they kinda sting a little.: and he said, well, "we may as well not hang out with your friends anymore..it can't be fun for me if I have to watch what I say. I won't have fun. I joke, that's who I am. you know that. I won't change myself" =( opinions? My gut says if he really he cared he wouldn't be making jokes that offend me. (even tho he says they are mild and shouldnt offend me) Is it wrong of me to ask him to change, just a little? just tame down the jokes?
Beautiful Inside Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 hey! im glad i came across from this thread ok check this out girly, my fiance/bf and i were going to counseling a while back cause we were always ****in fighting and didnt know why we love each other so much and of course didnt want to break up so we decided to go...well the counselor asked me why i was so sensitive to all my bfs remarks about me and i said he makes me feel like im stupid or something.....and you know what the counseling ****ing told him which not to mention was a ****ing guy the counselor like my bf and he was italian from ny just like my bf exactly so he cant say oh its cus it was a girl counselor no! well he told my bf that sarcasm is deadly and so bad in relationships you should never be sarcastic especially when your s/o is sensitive which i guess i am but i feel like its cus he made me like this he use to yell at me really bad in the beginning and i was never n my life use to that not even form my ****ing parents you know....i just want you to know that its not right that your bf makes you feel like that while around your friends or just anyone in general especially if you've already made it clear to him you dont appreciate nor like it, it doesn't make you feel good. he should have apologized if anything followed by ill never do it again you know.....
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 It shouldn't matter what HE thinks of his comments. If they bother you, he should have the decency and consideration to stop. If the only way he knows how to make conversation is to make mean little comments, then he's immature. He needs to grow up and learn to communicate like an adult. Maybe learn some new communication skills. I wouldn't necessarily call the comments themselves emotionally abusive - just insensitive. But once you told him you didn't like it and he didn't really care, THAT is abusive.
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