lover Posted May 6, 2000 Posted May 6, 2000 I'm a 22 male in the los angeles area with a 26 year old girlfriend. I've been with her for 6 years ( 3 of those years she's been in another state). She just recently came back home from CO. and I seem to be crowding her a bit. I kind of see it in her face. I think I'm exasperating her. I don't want to but I've been wanting to see her all the time and I seem to be calling her all the time as well. She has alot to do now that shes back home. I don't want to start expecting so much from her. I would like it if she would call me all the time but I now that she can't. How can I control my earge to call her and wanting to see her all the time? Thank you, want <e-mail address removed>
Tony T Posted May 6, 2000 Posted May 6, 2000 There is no vaccination for self-dicipline and self-restraint, which is what you could use a big dose of. There is probably no bigger turn-off for any lady than a guy who is smothering. You have to just understand that if you continue what you're doing, you will LOSE her. I don't think you would remain as fond of her if she wasn't the challenge she is. If you will stop calling her completely for a few days, this will drive her up a wall. Then call her infrequently, don't be available to see her all the time. BE A CHALLENGE. Women LOVE that(they say they don't, but it drives them wild). If you can just follow those simple directions, you could turn this whole thing around. From the looks of your post, I don't think you are up to my formula. If you keep up what you're doing, I promise you this lady won't be around long. She needs a MAN, not a shadow.
Deb Posted May 6, 2000 Posted May 6, 2000 First of all, you are not being honest with yourself. You say: "I don't want to but I've been wanting to see her all the time and I seem to be calling her all the time as well." This tells me that you DO want to be seeing her all the time. And that you "seem to be calling her all the time as well" speaks volumes in itself. At least you recognize the fact that since her return, as you stated: "She has a lot to do now that shes back home". But you don't seem to be able to muster the self-disciple, restraint and consideration for her in order to allow her the space she requires to catch up on all nececcary matters. You want to know how to control your urge to call her and make a general pest of yourself ... it is called restraint and consideration for her needs and putting that above your own at least for a short while. If you don't stop this behavior of yours, there is a possibility that she may just get upset enough to distance herself even more from you. Remember, people want a relationship with someone that is more of a challenge and not so much as a puppy following them around and hanging on their coat tails. I don't mean to sound severe, really I don't. But, you are in sore need of a quick dose reality check before you ruin the relationship you have with this girl. Trust me. I know!
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