Nice Guy21 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Well I met this woman on a dating site we talked alittle and finally we exchanged numbers well the fist time we talked we talked for about 4 hours. Our first date we had dinner and there was a movie she wanted to see so went and saw a movie also we got along real well and we both had a nice evening after the movie we talked gave each other a hug and that was it. Well I talked to her on the phone the next day witch was a sun. and she suggested we have lunch together sometime so we had lunch that tues. and again good convo gave her a hug and we both went back to work. Well after that we didnt talk everday but still consistant we went on 2 other dates and both I asked her out I was interested in her and I thought the feeling was mutal. Ever since the last date we really havent talked even though she tells me she had a great time. The last time I saw her has probably been almost a month and really havent talked except a high how are you doing type thing. Well I figured she lost interest maybe I should have been more aggressive but I wasn't goint to loose sleep over the situation well today she sends me a text saying what are you doing today you want to meet up. I couldn't make since I was 3 hours away visiting my hometown so we agreed to do something tues. I then said in a jokingly way yayy the lady pays since she never offered when i took her out but I would still foot the bill, but she sends me a text saying its on her. I sent her a text back saying are we dating or are we just friends and she replies I rather be in front of you so we can talk about that. The thing is I do like her but should I take this experience with a grain of salt or see how it goes. I've been very respectful of her I've see her 4 times had a good time haven't tried to kiss her or anything and then boom I really don't talk to her and then now we're going on another date.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 You haven't really seen her in a month and you ask her if you guys are "dating?" You need to chill a little and take things as they come. There's no way to say if you're dating until you actually go on the date. She probably wants to see you in person because she's still deciding if there's a spark, or not.
Shygirl15 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I sent her a text back saying are we dating or are we just friends How about asking yourself that question? I mean seriously, 4 dates and you offered just a hug? Did you even try to hold her hand? You barely showed any romantic interest in her. Also what's up with that 'joke' you made about the lady paying? That was really lame, I doubt if she found it hilarious either. I think there was a spark initially, but, to be honest, you handled the whole thing pretty badly.
samiam143 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I agree with shygirl. You obviously ARENT dating if you havent seen one another in that long, you should've shown more interest and the joke was just lame :-/
Author Nice Guy21 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 Yes I'm pretty sure I have dropped the ball a bit but I realize that I probably made myself look like an ass on here and really I'm not. Its just we go out on a date everything is cool and I say well I had a good time we should spend some more time together and she would agree but then after that I would call her the next day and she might be busy. She would tell me she would call me back and I don't hear from her for a week so I figure hell with it. So that has happend the last 2 dates witch is why I haven't really showed her romantic interest because I don't know what she wants. Also I wouldn't let her pay for anything but atleast offer am I wrong for that.
IcemanJB Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 As a general rule of thumb, you should never bring up the "couple" conversation until you've at least kissed or held hands. And NEVER do it through text. EVER. She seemed interested, but I think you were a little too hesitant after the 1st date. When you see her again, DO NOT bring up the couple conversation; she'll do it if she wants to. You should be focusing on advancing things a bit before that happens.
samiam143 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Iceman knows what he's talkin' about! I would be freaked out if a guy brought that up. Ask her out again. Try calling, but don't over do it. If she throws you on the backburner again it's because she's juggling. If you're ok with that cool, if not find a new girl.
Author Nice Guy21 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 I see both points I didn't mean as in a relationship like bf/gf but just casual dating like in search of a relationship or just to meet friends. I would be freaked out if someone wanted a relationship after we had only seen each other 4 times witch has happend. But mainly I feel like I have been on the backburner like samiam said I'm not ok with that but I just don't know her intentions, as of with me or anybody else basically. Yes I know it looks like ding ding shes interested me by us going on 4 dates but its the days or week and a half that may go by that I don't talk to her at all that makes me be reluctant to make advances.
Author Nice Guy21 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 Oh and we're supposed to be going out tomorrow evening.
Danger Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 There is no spark here. If there was, she wouldn't let you get away. It's been a month, that means it is one of two scenarios.... 1) She is hooking up with another guy and you are just a "girlfriend" to her. 2) She has another guy she is interested in and you are Plan B or Plan C, and she's just keeping you warm. You should be less needy, men don't ask "if we're dating", that's what women ask. Go out and get some hobbies, meet women in real life, not on-line.
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