London Fella Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Hey all So the thing is, I've cheated on my girlfriend in the past. We've decided to stay together but she hasn't said I'm forgiven and still brings it up. I've tried taling about it with her explaining I was and idiot and it was a mistake. I need to know I'm forgiven so we can try and make it work a second time, its been 3 months but still no definite answer, do I say " go away, think about it and give me an answer in a week or were done" ? I feel like a bastard if I did that as it was me that cheated but its just not working for me (and her) like this!
Beautiful Inside Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 wow well hmmmm ok i look at it like when somone whose suppose to be your everything your best friend you go to person for all your drama and problems etc when they've ****ed you over and crushed your heart so bad to where you'd never think they would want you to hurt hat bad.....it can turn to bcome very resentful and bitter.... i dont get why people cheat....i have a bf and i could never ever even look at another guy and think those thoughts you know i know its cause im 100 percent content with my relationship its no where even close to being perfect we fight all the ****ing time veery second it seems but i know i love him dearly he is my best friend most important and why on earth would you EVER want to hurt someone you love?.... that is so selfish to me....just ****ing break up with the person you know....why put someone through the pain and torture of knowing the person they love can so easily just hook up with someone else and throw everything away within a second....my first bf ended up hooking back up with his ex he was with for a long time and i never could trust him after that and we dated for 3 1/2 years after he cheated but it never could work what the **** was i thinking staying with him. im not trying to lecture you or anything just trying to get you to understand her. if your really want things to work out from here you gotta go way above and beyond to gain her trust back into you....you gotta fight for her....
Author London Fella Posted March 22, 2009 Author Posted March 22, 2009 You're right, I should have dumped her. She wasn't good enough, I told her to stop being like she was but she wouldn't listen. She wanted to loose weight so I was helping her with a fitness plan, running, gym eating well etc I told her she looked great to me and that size wasn't the most important thing. She took it completly the wrong way and would eat secret chinese food and chocolate then complain that she was too big. Well don't eat all the food then fool! If she was happy with her size then thats great but she would complain and I'm like do something about it then, I want you to be happy so lets do it, I'll be there for you, come to the gym with you. She was about a 12 when I met her then upto a 16/18 now going down to a 16/14. I think she was testing me, love me whatever size I am. I'm sorry I won't love you if stuff your face all day and old ladies can walk up hills quicker than you. She is perfectly capable of getting fit and healthy but she doesn't do it to spite me...to me its stupid, its the attitude that pisses me off, I love her for her. I will fight for her but she's got to do stuff too
joybean72 Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Three months is NOT a long time for her to get over the hurt you've done to her...period! Then in another sentence you say, "I'm sorry I won't love you if stuff your face all day and old ladies can walk up hills quicker than you." THEN you turn around and say, "I love her for her." So which is it??? Cuz all I'm hearing from you is woe is me bulls*#t, she needs to "get over it" & criticism on your part. You almost make it sound as if you were entitled to cheat, but that's just my opinion. I think you need to take a looong look at yourself man....ya might want to research the word "Narcissism" as well.
Author London Fella Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 Three months is ages....it was a drunken kiss not a year affair. Life is too short for this nonsense. Either she can deal with this or not. The thing is she was talking of holidays in the summer and talking of saving for a ring, thats great, but not if i'm not forgiven. It can't work like that. I'm not having this held against me forever. Either wipe the slate clean or lets end it, or at least a timescale to decide. You say which is it? well I love her when she does something with whatever is making her unhappy and accepts my help. I don't love when she sits there going "I'm fat you don't like me" then grabs a doughnut instead of some runners. Doughnut: no...runners: yes. I also don't love her when I get into my sport to stay fit for her and enjoy myself and all i get is your never around, so i worked out a deal at work so i worked 5 days in the winter 3 in the summer so we had time for each other...what do i get...your lazy not working! never staisfied! I can't win. I brought home the same money and had savings for holidays for the two of us. She won't go to a beach holiday because she can't swim (just paddle then mess around in some waves then, I don't care) To be honest why am i with her, she does very little for me. She puts down my interests, stops me socialising, slags me off to her friends, wont work with me to solve any problems and wont accept any critism. This isn't (and wasn't) the decent relationship I want. Cheating is definitely wrong I don't excuse it, but there are reasons for it, (It wouldn't of happened if I was happy and she wasn't being a bitch) I'm sure you don't condone violence? but if she attacked me after I told her I cheated would you excuse that????? two wrongs don't make a right has got to work both ways.
samsungxoxo Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Three months is ages....it was a drunken kiss not a year affair. Life is too short for this nonsense. Either she can deal with this or not. The thing is she was talking of holidays in the summer and talking of saving for a ring, thats great, but not if i'm not forgiven. It can't work like that. I'm not having this held against me forever. Either wipe the slate clean or lets end it, or at least a timescale to decide. Well if it was only a one time drunken kiss then that can be worked out. As to why she is taking it like it was an affair I don't know but 3 months is enough already. It's not like you slept or done other things with the other girl. So if she still attacks you with that and rubs it in your face than break up with her as it's clearly that you aren't happy with her. Cheating is definitely wrong I don't excuse it, but there are reasons for it, (It wouldn't of happened if I was happy and she wasn't being a bitch) I'm sure you don't condone violence? but if she attacked me after I told her I cheated would you excuse that????? two wrongs don't make a right has got to work both ways. If she attacked after you told her about your cheating then you can filed charges against her. It doesn't matter what the gender of the attack is, it's still attacking and it's wrong. So yes two wrongs dont make a right.
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