barefoot19 Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I am currently involved with a lovely young black female. I am nearly 20 years older then her and we have dated for nearly a year now. Since we work together, we have kept our relationship a secret. She recently revealed to me that she has fallen in love with me and I feel the same towards her. We both agree that it is not going to be easy because of our color but love will conquer all.
nana yaw II Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 well, to whom would the issue be? Is it co-workers? Are they racist? Have they mentioned to you, whether privately or not, that other races are an issue for them? Is it family or friends? Is it society? I think relationships between co-workers are not always advisable, given gossip in the office and what have you. But if you are not close with co-workers, then why is what they say or think of any consequence? If it is family/friends, well ideally they should be supportive. if they have an issue with it, tell them you have feelings for the girl and that her race is no matter to you. If it's society, well I don't think society (US society) by and large opposes interracial dating. of course, there are some who disapprove, by to most i don't think it's a major issue. Besides, do you know, or are close to, all persons in your society? Why then should their opinions matter? you are living your life and not hurting them.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I'm trying to figure out to whom it would matter - like NYII was saying. I appreciate the difference between races, but don't see what it matters. Love is colorblind. The people that matter won't mind and the people that mind don't matter. People are a lot more open-minded today than they were 50 years ago. It could depend also on what part of the country you live in, I guess. I know there are many places in the south where racism still runs rampant. There's no way I could have kept my relationship private - especially if I were in love with the guy.
Lizzie60 Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I agree with Nana..to whom would it matter ... In this day and age, it's hard to believe some people are still racist.. Never mind what others think.. you don't live your life for 'others' but for you.. enjoy.. have fun.. life is too short to worry about what OTHERS think..
alphamale Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 We both agree that it is not going to be easy because of our color but love will conquer all. if it was 30 yrs ago i would worry but most people don't care now a days except teh hard-core racists i would be much more concerned that you work together than anyting else
trubella Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 In this day and age, it's hard to believe some people are still racist.. believe it.. sometimes it depends on the area, some places are more liberal than others.. if your in the south theres still alot of "good ole boys" out here with backwards views on minorities and IRs. my bf is white and we still experience this on occasion, but its not something we let get to us, im used to that kindof attention, experienced alot of it personally and from past IRs
fishtaco Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Depends on where you are. Here in Southern California, doesn't matter that much. I've dated black women before. My ex from about six years ago for example, we got looks sometimes, that's about it. The worst was when we went to a predominantly black & Hispanic club. The Hispanic people didn't care. The black men were a bit surprised. But the black women were staring us down. Probably more toward her than me, for "dating outside of her own race". But I know some areas, like certain parts of Texas, dating a black person is a no-no. I remember chatting with a white girl from Texas online. Of course what else is there to talk about on the internet except sex. So our sexual history came out and she was unimpressed with the fact that I've been with black women (she didn't know my ethnicity, I'm guessing she assumed I was white). When I asked her what's the big deal, she said she's a sweet southern lady, and doesn't dip in the chocolate. As if dipping in the chocolate somehow made her un-sweet. But otherwise she seemed like a pretty cool gal. So it's there, it's part of the social fabric for some areas. Even an otherwise normal person may grow up to be affect by it. I hope you're in a liberal area.
IcemanJB Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I don't see the problem with it. That isn't to say some people DO have a problem with it, and certain areas of the country are worse than others. I've heard time and again that parts of the South (USA) are like this. The last girl I dated is Mexican (well, half), and honestly that was the furthest thing from my mind. I should mention that a couple of my acquaintances would occasionally make a semi-derogatory comment about me dating her. I didn't (and still don't) care in the least bit. It makes no difference what color her skin is, to me at least.
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Hmmm well race notwithstanding. I'm starting to look at white women a lot more differently. Back in the day I wouldnt pay them no mind but as more I got older alot of the stigma when racially dated has changed. And I realized a man is a man and a woman is a woman. So if it works then roll with it!
Shygirl15 Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Got to love it when people say race doesn't matter only love does! BIG DENIAL. Of course race matters; of course a black woman/man is completely different from a white woman/man in terms of their physical features - btw, isn't that the 1st thing we're attracted to?? What's wrong with being attracted to someone's blue eyes/blond hair/creamy skin/nappy hair/chocolate skin/bubble butt/pancake ass etc etc? Love is important but comes second to physical attraction, and we all know that our physical features has everything to do with our own race, thanks.
single ape Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Got to love it when people say race doesn't matter only love does! BIG DENIAL. Of course race matters; of course a black woman/man is completely different from a white woman/man in terms of their physical features - btw, isn't that the 1st thing we're attracted to?? What's wrong with being attracted to someone's blue eyes/blond hair/creamy skin/nappy hair/chocolate skin/bubble butt/pancake ass etc etc? Love is important but comes second to physical attraction, and we all know that our physical features has everything to do with our own race, thanks. that has nothing to do with this conversation.. he is already attracted to her and vice versa.. maybe he likes black girls? in the same way that maybe he likes big butts.. maybe he like loud talkers..maybe he likes fat girls...you're just talking about preference.. not race. If you honestly think people are only attracted to their own race, I'll round up some white dudes in tokyo for you to talk to to get a different perspective.
Peaceandlove Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 This might sound a bit naive, but really I don't see why this would be a problem..times have changed! no? I'd really like to think so
DunnoWhat Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Anybody who says its no problem really means that it's no problem for them.
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