Things have changed

[huck]

Ive posted on here before about my split with my girlfriend. Basically she broke up with me a few weeks ago and moved out of our house. The split was kind of amicable - there was no one else involved but she said her feelings had changed for me and we were more like best friends and needed to split so she could decide what she wanted out of life.

 

I managed to accept quite quickly that things were over - and got great help from my mates and family. Of course i was devastated but I tried to look on the positive side and carry on with my life.

 

I went straight into No-contact mode - although we have exchanged emails to sort out the house stuff as we both rent together. I made it clear to her that we couldnt be friends and I had to stick to no contact to get over her. I have never initiated any calls, texts or calls to discuss getting back together.

 

Roughly 10 days ago she sent me a text saying she had made a big mistake and couldnt cope with the fact she had lost me and i wouldnt be a part of her life anymore. ( she had obviously been drinking ).. The next morning she rang to apologise and said we were still over - she had been drinking and shouldnt of done that. As you can imagine i was major pissed off as it hurt me and brought back feelings for her which I was trying to forget.

 

Mid week we had to email each other to discuss house stuff and moving out and i mentioned i was going out on a date this weekend with a girl. This really freaked her out and she admitted it made her burst into tears.

 

Anyway - two days ago she rang me at 2 in the morning ( drunk again ) saying that she had made a mistake and wanted to give things a try. The next morning we spoke and she said she was 95% sure she wanted to give it a try otherwise she would regret it for the rest of her life.

 

So - we went out last night and things were brill - just like the old times, we had a laugh and she said she loved me and even discussed going on holiday in the near future. + she stayed over last night.

 

We had a chat this morning and she wants to go on a few dates with me to see if things can be worked out but maybe we should also date some other people in that time as well !!

 

Im confused to wether shes messing with me. Id love to be able to tell her to shove it but i love this girl to bits - shes my world. But shes holding all the cards and I feel like a puppet on a string..

 

If things dont work out - i dont want to be hurt again and go through all those horrible feelings again.

 

anyones advice would be good - good or bad.

[lovelinefan]

If she's not willing to be exclusively with you, and work out the issues of trust she has brought into your relationship by leaving, then I wouldn't get back involved with her.

 

She obviously doesn't know what she wants, but I would say it's a good sign that she can't put you out of her mind, and wants to try to be together again - you just have to be very very clear about your new boundaries, and what will work for you in a renewed relationship - without that I can guarantee that you will be heartbroken again. You also should take things a lot slower than you have described - I wouldn't be having her over at night and I would try and avoid falling into the same patterns that you had before the break.

 

On the other hand, I am in the same situation as you, almost exactly, even the reasons she gave are the same, but she hasn't decided to come back, and she hasn't told told me she regrets her decision - but if she did I am not sure that I could follow my own advice. I hope you can, good luck.