taylor Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 How did your wife's affair with the OM end? Did she get caught or confess on her own? If she loves the OM, why is she not with him? Why did she crawl back to the marriage instead?
Owl Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Continue counseling for as long as you still consider that there is a possibility that the two of you may reconcile. If you decide at any point that "it's over"...end it and file ASAP. Her comments and responses are pretty normal for a WS (wayward spouse). All you're really hearing out of her is "me, me, me, me". Right? It may be possible to reconcile, or it may not. There are a lot of factors to consider here...first and foremost is what YOU want out of this situation. If you still hold hope of fixing things, continue the counseling, and continue to insist upon NC (no contact) between her and her OM (other man). If you decide that there's no chance...then end counseling, and file for divorce. It's not EASY...but the decision process here is pretty simple when you look at it. Go to marriagebuilders.com...read up on plan A/plan B, and all the other free stuff there. Be very cautious if you opt to use their forum, but the base material is spot on. If you want to reconcile, you should be working plan A right now. Find out what that means, and you'll be able to start. If you don't...boot her out, file for divorce, and call it a day. There's NOTHING wrong with that option either.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 She does not claim it is just for MY benefit. She also claims she wants to understand why it happened to her. She has always been one who believes that she will never cheat. Much as I still care for her, I guess I should tell her she can go figure that out on her own time. Either way, having her there is a waste of time and money! You need to be putting those $$$ towards a kick a$$ attorney Yes, indeed her handling (as well as the OM's, if you must know) of this has been terribly immature. First, she kept feeding me half truths for over a month. Even then, she was unable to stop even though I asked her calmly to take a moment to think. It was only after one month of torturing me that she finally told the OM to take a 3-month break to cool down. But she has been asking me again for permission to contact him again. She knows why this happened. Clearly she has no respect for you... nor any desire to be married to you. You are just a schmuck who helps pay the bills. If I continue counseling, I want it to be completely for my benefit. I have to be selfish for now. I have just given too much into this relationship and have it spat back at me as though it is worth nothing. By accepting the way she treats you... it has MADE you worth nothing. When you start demanding to be treated as you wish, then your worth will return.
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