ilovefreshair Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Sounds like he's incredibly insecure. In other words, arrogant/cocky. The root of arrogance is insecurity, IMO. I wouldn't tolerate that nonsense! Why should you dress to his taste to this extent? Sure, it doesn't hurt to dress sexily for your man or maybe wear that dress he really loves once in a while, but every single time? You deserve better than that.
Ariadne Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Hey, Was he fat at some point or ugly? When people change and become somewhat attractive they become overcritical and accept nothing but perfection since they feel now entitled.
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 Anyway, the guy is average looking. He is one of those skinny geeky types - he is a doctoral student. I mostly like that he takes me to theatre and opera and very rarely can I find guys that are interested in those things. Why I think that he is into me: He calls every day and wants to see me a lot and i have to hold him off becuse I have other commitments. He also speaks his mind on other things; like politics and music even when he is in a larger group of people that hold opposing views. He told my girlfriend (when I went to the toilet) that "he is smitten with me, that he loves that I'm alive and animated and have that spark, he finds most people "dead" - however he never told me that... Ever since we kissed he can't stop kissing me... SO I really think that his criticsms are his personality flaw rather than lack of interest in me - but I still don't think that is something that I can live with...
MN randomguy Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I think its a learned behavior to have some control in a relationship. Read the "Pick-up Artist vs. Mr. Nice Guy" Thread. If he acts too into you it won't be fun for you and you'll get rid of him. probably happened before and he's overcompensating this time. You said in the OP that it made you feel insecure. This is classic PUA psychology. Its the insecure girls that always wind-up putting out.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Anyway, the guy is average looking. He is one of those skinny geeky types - he is a doctoral student. I mostly like that he takes me to theatre and opera and very rarely can I find guys that are interested in those things. Oh, crap - well, this explains everything. Never date a doctor. I've heard they have the most inflated egos on the planet. They do have a sense of entitlement. MAYBE rightly so since it takes so much work to get to the top, but do you really want to have to deal with that? I know a couple friends that have dated doctors and their verdict is NEVER AGAIN.
Girlygirl1977 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Oh, crap - well, this explains everything. Never date a doctor. I've heard they have the most inflated egos on the planet. They do have a sense of entitlement. MAYBE rightly so since it takes so much work to get to the top, but do you really want to have to deal with that? I know a couple friends that have dated doctors and their verdict is NEVER AGAIN. FYI - Doctoral student means he is a Phd student. Are you thinking of medical doctor as this is not necessarily the case. You could be a Phd student in anything including Engineering to Art History to Math to Religion. She didn't say what.
Trialbyfire Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I think its a learned behavior to have some control in a relationship. Read the "Pick-up Artist vs. Mr. Nice Guy" Thread. If he acts too into you it won't be fun for you and you'll get rid of him. probably happened before and he's overcompensating this time. You said in the OP that it made you feel insecure. This is classic PUA psychology. Its the insecure girls that always wind-up putting out. It just goes to show that this kind of thing doesn't work very well. As you can see BEG isn't too impressed. For a lot of women, this type of insulting behaviour does nothing but drive a woman away.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 FYI - Doctoral student means he is a Phd student. Are you thinking of medical doctor as this is not necessarily the case. You could be a Phd student in anything including Engineering to Art History to Math to Religion. She didn't say what. I would imagine that with the work that goes into either an MD or a PhD, an ego would come along with it. I was aware that it could have been PhD, but I would be cautious with someone on that path unless I knew them BEFORE they started into schooling for it.
pollywag Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I think its a learned behavior to have some control in a relationship. Read the "Pick-up Artist vs. Mr. Nice Guy" Thread. If he acts too into you it won't be fun for you and you'll get rid of him. probably happened before and he's overcompensating this time. You said in the OP that it made you feel insecure. This is classic PUA psychology. Its the insecure girls that always wind-up putting out. I think you might me right!! I had read about these dating tactics for geeks and how they should make condescending jerky jokes to keep women on their toes and second guessing themselves. They say it works on some women and apparently in this case the OP is falling for it because she can't walk away and still feels a certain pull.
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 It just goes to show that this kind of thing doesn't work very well. As you can see BEG isn't too impressed. For a lot of women, this type of insulting behaviour does nothing but drive a woman away. EXACTLY. I do not want to date someone who makes me feel insecure. I want to be around a guy that makes me feel like I am the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world. BTW doctoral means PhD student - his area is microbiology.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 My opinion about dating doctors still stands. Even a PhD doctor. In my post about "doctors," I never said "MD." But he sounds like a jerk. I'd rather be in relationship with somebody that makes me feel good when I'm around him.
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 I think you might me right!! I had read about these dating tactics for geeks and how they should make condescending jerky jokes to keep women on their toes and second guessing themselves. They say it works on some women and apparently in this case the OP is falling for it because she can't walk away and still feels a certain pull. Ummm no, I am walking away
pollywag Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Ummm no, I am walking away Ok good!! I think you should. But I did read about these pick up techniques, they are really out there and pahtetic.
Trialbyfire Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 EXACTLY. I do not want to date someone who makes me feel insecure. I want to be around a guy that makes me feel like I am the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world. Then yes, dump the jerk. He's one of two things, he's either a PUA jerk or he's an overly-critical jerk. Take your pick which kind of jerk but jerk he is!
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 Ok good!! I think you should. But I did read about these pick up techniques, they are really out there and pahtetic. I read up on them too. It looks like those insults are called NEGs and are supposed to reduce girl's self worth and make her more vulnerable to having sex. Guess what guys? IT DOESN'T WORK!! I would have liked the guy if it wasn't for the half-insults.
Island Girl Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 the whole PUA stuff works on stupid insecure girls in clubs or bars for easy sex. Anyone who would use them in a dating environment is obtuse. And the PUA "Mystery" has never been in a successful relationship for any length of time and has had suicide attempts and severe depression. Oh! Could it be because a life like that is not fulfilling?!
pollywag Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I read up on them too. It looks like those insults are called NEGs and are supposed to reduce girl's self worth and make her more vulnerable to having sex. Guess what guys? IT DOESN'T WORK!! I would have liked the guy if it wasn't for the half-insults. Yeah I think that's it, when I read about them I thought who in their right mind does this even work on? I just don't see how men could advise other men who don't even have game to begin with to on top of it throw little "joke insults" to keep the woman in check? I think most women will walk away from that, but I can see how sometimes some women could overlook that and get caught up on his career or if he is good looking, his looks. In this case because you mentioned you liked that he took you to artistic events I thought you might overlook it. I'm glad you are not going to put up with it, but I love that you got that balding jab in, that was priceless you are my new heroine! "he kept touching his head" :lmao::lmao: that was too good.
pollywag Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 And the PUA "Mystery" has never been in a successful relationship for any length of time and has had suicide attempts and severe depression. Oh! Could it be because a life like that is not fulfilling?! Isn't the Mystery guy the one that used to be a gynecologist and he lost his practice because he tried to sexually molest some patients? One of those dating gurus has that in his past. Nice guy to take dating advice from. All those online creeps that try to help other men are just women haters with very deep mental issues.
Trialbyfire Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_(pickup_artist) Here's a write up about Mystery. He's a magician or was one.
pollywag Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Oh brother, a magician? :lmao: He moved up from making coins dissapear to teaching men on how to make their women dissapear. You gotta give him props for progressing in his profession.
Trialbyfire Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 For some reason that article isn't linked anymore, under Mystery. His name is Erik Von Markovik. Let's try this link again. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erik_Von_Markovik
Island Girl Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Isn't the Mystery guy the one that used to be a gynecologist and he lost his practice because he tried to sexually molest some patients? One of those dating gurus has that in his past. Nahhh that is yet another one! They are all prizes FOR SURE! Nice guy to take dating advice from. Yeah exactly. But the pathetic guys who use his advice just think having sex a lot is amazing. They are infantile really. Not having matured past high school mentality as far as relationships. You would think they would take a good look at these guy's lives and consider the source.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 On our last date I did tell him that I have noticed that he is going bald and he should really do something about it before it gets worse He HATED that but it did shut him up. He kept touching his head/hair all night and looking in the mirrors he still called the next day though. BUT I really don't want to have a realtionship where I will have to resort to mutual digs. Sigh. That's kind of funny. Only because he did it to you first. Sounds like you are caught inbetween his high interest level in you and this issue. For him to be this overly critical within 4 dates doesn't set a good example for the future. A husband or boyfriend that you've had for a few months saying he likes one dress over another is one matter, a man you just meant already saying these kind of things is over stepping his bounds and being rather critical and negative. Just because a guy shows a high interest level in you, doesn't mean he is a good match for you. I think this man sounds very insecure and negative. Who needs that? He told my girlfriend (when I went to the toilet) that "he is smitten with me, that he loves that I'm alive and animated and have that spark, he finds most people "dead" - however he never told me that... Yes, that is flattering to you. But his view of *most* people is a red flag. he finds most people "dead"? This man is either incredibly arrogant or incredibly insecure that he feels the need to try and elevate himself above most people. I only say this because of personal experience. I one time dated a man when I was 22. He was very smart. Worked in a lab for an ivy league school. Was young and cute and his world view was that most people where "sheep". This turned me on in my early adulthood cause he was *different* then most people and was very intelligent. But for all that book intelligence, he wasn't a nice person when it came to other people. The truth was that he didn't turn out to be so *different* and *enlightented*. He was a very selfish man-boy hiding behind lame college theroies about the meaning of life that thought made him a better person then everyone else around him. The above comment you said reminded me of him and that's why I am sharing that experience with you. Not saying he is like this but it's a comment that would make me take a second look. The dilima is that women always want compliments as well as the truth. Women also want their man to be happy. Sounds to me that this guy is number 1. honest, 2. letting you know what he likes and what would make him happy. and 3. Really into you. Oh and to this poster. Yes, we want honesty and compliments but we don't want to be humilated and looked at critically, anymore then you would as a man. If that's what makes a man happy, then he needs to look at himself and what kind of person he is. Seriously, this comment ticked me off. A guy who is really into you likes you the way you are. One more piece of advice, people who are proud of being "brutally honest".. are more times brutal then they are honest.
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