taintedlove Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I noticed a trend where I keep falling for men significantly older than me. I find it a bit embarrassing so I don't discuss this with my friends. I feel like I'm really abnormal and disgusting sometimes because men at that age are usually married. I also like them even more when they ignore me or treat me unwell. I feel like there must be something wrong with me and I'm going into therapy soon. Is there anyone who feels the same way and does anyone know what are the causes of this? There's no one close that I'm comfortable talking to this about so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks all!
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Well, the prevailing theory is that if a younger woman is attracted to an older man, she has daddy issues. Or to put it in a more "PC" light - you must not have had a strong, reliable male authority figure growing up. Or if you want to say that you really did, maybe you did not connect with your father the way you should have. Something could have happened that kept you from connecting. As for the older men that don't treat you well - this again smacks of daddy issues. I'm not trying to be insensitive - I'm just saying what it sounds like. So I guess some good questions would be: How was your relationship with your father? What kind of man was he? How was your father's relationship with your mother? How did he treat you, your mother, or women in general?
Els Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 What is your own personal opinion of men who do treat you well? Do you think of them as doormats/wussies or something of the sort?
fishtaco Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Sweet. Where do I sign up? Just kidding. Dating older men is no big deal. They tend to be more mature minded and have more money. But being attracted to men that treat you badly, regardless of their age, is an issue. It's good that you realize it. Usually it's to seek out a pattern you're familiar with. Like for example you were treated badly when you were a kid. That's how you grew up. So even you don't like it, it's familiar to you, and you seek that out. I don't know, I'm not a professional. Maybe you should get therapy?
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