I feel like I am NEVER going to get over this!

[Aerorobyn]

It's been one week today since my boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me. During the first 3 days of our breakup, he said he just needed some time, he doesn't know what's going on in his life or this relationship. Now, he's basically just saying he doesn't want a relationship period.

 

We had a serious talk on the phone earlier today. I told him that I accepted his decision (I don't, I still love and need him so badly...), but that I wanted him to explain some things so that I could get closure. He says that it was never me. He always loved me, and he truly believed that he was IN love with me. He says he still does love me. But at this point in his life, he thinks he's better off being single...He just turned 21, and he wants to enjoy going out to a bar on a Friday night with his friends and drinking a beer, not having to go to a movie or something with me or any girl (I couldn't go to a bar, I'm only 20. Plus I don't drink).

 

He says that he'll always love me, but that time will clear everything up. He's just not good at relationships, wants his "freedom" for a while. Told me to move on with my life, find the man I'm looking for.

 

I feel I will never get over this. Tomorrow would be our anniversary. Monday, I have to be his lab partner in our college physics lab. It's not gonna be the same. Everything is different. I try EVERYTHING to take my mind off of him, but....I truly believed he was my one and only.

 

And what makes me so much more angry/sad, is that just a day before the breakup, he was talking to me about how "we're gonna grow old together, move into our apartment together when we graduate in two years" and all that stuff. *Sigh*

[Luscis]

Feeling like your never going to get over him is totally natural, especially since you guys have been together for two years. This feeling will go away in time, however I don't think being lab partners is a good idea; why put up with more pain. If you want to get over him you need a clean break; no contact until your emotions settle.

[Meaplus3]

My goodness. It's just been a week of course you are going to feel that way. It takes time to get over someone that was an inportant part of your life. The best thing you can do right now is to cease all contact. By going NC, this allows you to your emotions to heal and with time your able to get past the pain and hurt. Take it slow.. and try to stay busy. Best of luck. You will be ok.

 

Mea:)

[Marina09]

Hey! I totally understand what you're going through. My boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me on New Year's Day, six days before our second anniversary. Basically he said the same things your ex said to you. He wanted to go out with his friends more often than he did, he wanted to have freedom to do whatever he wanted without having to think about somebody else, that he just didn't feel ready at all to be in a relationship like the one I wanted (I never mentioned marriage, but I did want to be in a relationship with a future and not a dead end). He said that he loved me as a friend and not as a girlfriend anymore (which made me feel awful), etc. He had so many reasons to break up... This was the second time he broke up with me. The first time he said the SAME things, however after a week he started calling me, emailing me, and we ended up together again. This second time I knew it was forever, he knew that if he broke up with me once more for the same reason I wouldn't forgive him anymore, so he gave it a lot of thought, since Thanksgiving he seemed totally different with me, I guess he was making up his mind until he finally decided it...

 

When we were talking about the end of our relationship he told me he didn't wanna lose me forever, he wanted to be my friend, I told him I couldn't, I just had (and have) so many feelings for him... I told him that may be in the future we could develop a true friendship, but not inmediately. Well the thing is that the first days I felt horrible, the day of our anniversary I checked my phone for any text or call from him like a million times, I thought that may be he would call me or anything, he didn't. A lot of good and important things happened to me in January, things that I had envisioned sharing with him, he was such a big part of my life I just couldn't understand he wasn't there to share them with me. Life was hard, I felt like I just did things because I had to, not because I wanted to. I kept picturing him in his new life, happy, going out, meeting girls, and me, sad, crying, alone... Then after a month I started to feel better, I concentrated more on his bad things rather than on the good ones, I read a lot of how to heal a broken heart articles, started going out more often with friends, enrolled in the gym, activities, etc. I felt much better.

 

After 2 months of breaking up he sent me an email saying that he did love (as a girlfriend), and he will always love me, but that he still doesn't feel ready to have such a serious relationship, and he repeated the friends part, which I still don't feel ready for. He wanted to explain himself better than he did the day of the break up, and he said he wanted to try our relationship in the future when he felt ready because I'm worthy (yeah right like I'm gonna wait for him forever). Two weeks later after the email I found out he has a new girlfriend, I felt like back to day one, all the pain came back. I just can't understand why he wrote an email to me if he already had another girl, I mean, he didn't have to, I never ever asked him for another explanation. It breaks my heart to think he wants to have me as plan B.

 

Well, it's been only a week since I found out he's moved on, I don't feel completely good, but I do feel better. If he didn't respect me after two years of relationship, it's obvious he was never good for me, and will never be. The best advice I can give you is to stay away from him, it could be painful at the beggining, but at the end you will feel better. And remember to focus on the bad things about him, all that you didn't like, not the good things. Go out, dance, talk to your friends, family, cry when you feel like it, do everything that would make you feel better. I hope you feel better, and I hope it helped a little to know that somewhere in the world there is another person feeling the same way than you do. Good luck to you!!!