hyperdeficit Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 I just broke up with my gf of a year and a half I love her to death but she was just so controlling it was like we were married and I could never go and do stuff I wanted like see my freinds (who ive known for twelve years) even when I inited her along Its too complicated to explain and I dont want you to lose interest because this is a long post so im keeping it short. I miss her a lot and I need something to keep my mind busy but I dont know what I feel like a loser cause I keep checking her myspace and lookin at pictures Is there anything I can do to keep my mind off of her? I can be a lone wolf and do stuff like see movies bymyself I just cant think of anything to do to distract my mind. Is this feeling ever going to go away
Excellent Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Delete her from anywhere you can delete her. Hang out with friends, a alot. Go to the gym. Watch a funny movie. Just stay busy, with anything. Just don't contact her if you are thinking about that. Over time, you will heal.
lemurtech Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Last year after being dumped in April, after about a week of sitting around being sad and eating all the crap I could buy at the grocery store, I went and began mtn bike riding and hiking a lot. This meant that I could take out my anger and frustration at the ground instead of things like myself. In fact, I went so far as to start hiking 14ers (here in Colorado) and then went, on my own to Africa and climbed Kilimanjaro. It helped a lot, and I lost a lot of weight to boot. So in the end, I came out better than I started. I may do the same thing again this year, since it seems to be happening again to me, maybe Aconcagua, Argentina this time. Just an idea, no idea what your situation, but basically you have to do stuff by yourself and with friends so you don't have too much time to think about it.
Excellent Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Yeah, keeping the mind busy is the key. As far as the anger goes it helped me improve in the gym It's a great stress-reliever, you feel great and you get more energetic. It's soon 4 months since i got dumped, although my relationship didn't last long, i loved her to death. And had a very hard time in the aftermath. I still miss her, but it's starting to come around. Now i can smile while i think about her being with someone else atleast. So thats something. Still have to face her at work everyday tho, but i don't consider that as a problem anymore either.
AMM003 Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Yeah big guy, it is hard. I try to do everything I can to stay busy. Do some sort of exercise. Something strenuous. Or something that will help you find compassion in others. such as volunteer work. Something that will make you feel good because YOU did it. I try to do all kinds of these things and sometimes I still think of her. I become more indifferent every day as I become more accepting of the fact that the person I knew will not ever exist again in my life time. She is a different person now. But I also embrace that there will come a time when there is some special in my life again. That time is not now though. As it would be unfair cause there is still elements of her that cloud my mind. Delete your myspace and facebook. put your pics on your comp on dvd. take the dvd and everything that reminds you of her, and put them in a box. and place it somewhere where its just a big pain the a** to get to. Good luck. Remember. "Yesterday's gone, tomorrow may never come, so do what you can for yourself today".
Melocoton Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 So you broke it off with her correct? Either way, if you know she is not the one for you and it is done and you are asking for coping advice... Remove all of her contact methods; myspace, facebook, pictures around the house etc. You need to detox from her. It gets better everyday but stop intentially reminding yourself of her. Go out with friends more often, read books, watch movies, keep busy. The minute you sit down on your computer bored at home your mind will wander to the dark place. Instead do things. Take this time to try new hobbies. Also, what helps me is to write down all the qualities you think you need and want from a relationship. Then write down all the qualities about her that made you break up in the first place. This will help your logical mind to realize this is a good thing.
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