darby1 Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 I am dating this guy. We always have fun and I told myself in the beginning that I will stick around until it's not fun anymore. So here it is.. We first kissed in November now Mid-March. Our whole togetherness has been a slow moving process. Since February we have been hangin once a week until recently this week. We've spent Tuesday eve, all day and night Wednesday and Friday eve together, today is Saturday. Last night, we were having a great time! Hot tub, drinks, dinner, my roommate's hung with us and ended with some great sex! However, b4 the great sex time, my good friend/roommate is very attractive and fun, but tends to need to be the center of attention with everyone in the room including my man, lets call her Jane. Many times I've been with a guy and he ends up hangin out with Jane while I go off to bed and I end up dumping them or feeling really hurt because clearly they would rather be with her than me, so adios! I have voiced this to her in the past to please not take my time away from me with my man, but she doesn't hear me. So, we are sitting there talking and it gets to a point where I might as well not be there, they are having conversation and saying "we" referring to them two, so I..childishly admit, I snap! I can't hold it in. Jealously hits and I say something to her in front of him basically to "back off" and then I walk out. After a short time, during which I have already decided he can go sleep with her and it's over, he finds me and expresses that he is here to hang out with me and I have nothing to be jealous about. So he passed the Jane test you could say and we continued back together enjoying our night. Knowing all that, tonight and tomorrow night he is playing in a show. He made it pretty clear that he wants me to go tonight, and said see you later on when we left each other, but I am wondering if I maybe I should not go tonight? We've been spending a lot of time together and I am kinda embarrassed about my jealousy rant. He is having another show tomorrow I can go to. I like that he wants me there and I do want to be there too of course, but maybe I should back off a little and make him miss me or just not be so available. I feel like my little rant was a red flag and perhaps I need to space us out before I get too attached and scare him off.. I dunno. I like him very much, but I am totally not up for heart ache. I got jealous. Thats heart ache. Do you agree I should not go tonight?? How should I handel this? Did I screw everything up already? is it too late to fix? I hate this stage.
WorriedOne Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Do you want to go to the show? If so, go. If you don't want to go, don't go. If you really want to go and do not go because you are worried about how he feels about you going...that is called PLAYING GAMES. Don't do that, men don't like it and it is NOT FAIR to the person you are dating to do stuff like that. As far as your roommate goes, until he starts asking her to go to his shows and not you, I wouldn't worry about it. She has confidence issues and needs constant attention. If I were you I would find a new roommate as soon as possible as she is just bad news.
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