JEN JEN Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 My son is 9 years old and is driving me crazy!I AM A 26 YEAR OLD MOM THAT HAS TRIED EVERYTHING! My son is very smart he does't get into trouble often at school he actually has been doing quite well this year. I let my son take the subway to school everyday he sucsessfully gets there everyday and comes home. My problem when he gets out of his after school program he does not come straight home! He goes to his friends house to play football and does't get in sometimes til 8:30 -9:00 pm we live about 15 to 20 min away from his school using public transportation. I have put him on punishment, i have given him a wooping and have taken everything away from him : New shoes, psp ect... I am just tired i don't want to send him away and if i give up and let him keep doing this he will win and i will be less than a parent. I talk to him all the time but nothing is working. Like i said he is a very intelligent child but the hours of his play time are driving me crazy and it seems that i can't get control. I have a car but me and my fiance share it and most of the time he has the car . My fiance is the same age as me and i love him and my son doesn't have a problem him he trats him better than his own father treats him but my fiance doesn't understand my son like i do: Yes i let him try to handle the situation but he can't either. I also want to add i work everyday so i can't pick him up and it's too late in the school year to transfer schools. Thanks for your comment!
Touche Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Isn't there some way you can take him to school and pick him up? Maybe change your work hours? Nine seems a tad young for taking public transportation on his own. The only thing other than that that comes to mind is that maybe you need to ground him all weekend if he doesn't come home during the week when he's supposed to. That worked for us with our 12 year old (concerning another behavioral issue.)
LovieDove24 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I agree with Touche I think 9 is a bit young to be taking public transportation by yourself, but thats a whole nother post. I highly suggest that you speak to the mother of your son's friend, give her strict orders that if he shows up at their house after school to call you immediately. When you get the call, either you or your fiance needs to go pick him up and explain that this is unacceptable. Continue doing so as long as it takes. He will not get to reap the benefits of spending time with his friend only to get punished after the fact. You need to punish him right away.
JLee26 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 totally agree with first two, my son is 9 and i drive him to and pick him up everyday. Being a hands on mom really helps with authority, if possible in your schedule i would suggest you take him to and from. As for punishment, how long are you grounding? taking away toys? i have found with my kids, an object needs to be gone for a week before the punishment is understood.
Athena Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 My problem when he gets out of his after school program he does not come straight home! He goes to his friends house to play football and does't get in sometimes til 8:30 -9:00 pm Is it possible to compromise and let him have some days where he can go play football at his friends' house? Or -- is it possible to have the friend come over to your house so your son still has play time with him? I agree with the poster who suggested you phone up the boy's mother and come to some boundaries with that -- if she sends him packing home, where else could he go? Also -- perhaps HER son listens to his mom, so even if his mom isn't home at that time, if told he cannot have your son over, he might listen to that. Then your son will have to come home...
Athena Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 btw howcome there isn't a school bus to pick him up and take him home? That would solve your problem...
Lucky_One Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 #1 Why doesn't whoever has the car go pick your son up at his after-school program, rather than have him make his own way home? #2 If your son keeps going to the same friend's house, why doesn't whoever has the car go there immediately after work to get him? Why in the world would you let him just wander home at 8:30 or 9:00? Who is feeding him dinner? A child of that age should be have a 8:30 - 9:00 bedtime, much less coming home, doing homework, bathing, eating and spending some time with his parents all after a suitable bedtime would be.
bean1 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Wow, I was in bed by 8:30 every night, even past age 12-13!
2sure Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 OK - I undestand the conflict of working/chaild care. I understand the need for some children to be more independent and responsible. And I also understand urban transportation. This is insane. This is an accident/tragedy waiting to happen. You have one option & ONE responsibility. He needs : CHILD CARE UNTIL YOU ARE THERE TO SUPERVISE HIM. What dont you get about this? If the after school program does not go late enough for you to pick him up from there - then he needs to go someplace else after school. Like a daycare. They take children up to 11 at least - because the LAW requires children under that age to be supervised by an adult. It shouldnt need to be a law. You have to work around the obstacles of work & child care the way the rest of us do.
Recommended Posts