jack310 Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Hello, here is my situation in a nutshell: My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We try to spend as much time together as possible, but she is busier than I am (both in graduate school). Our last talk ended in her asking for "time to think". I have since given her NC for 7 days now. I have not heard anything from her at all. She told me that she would let me know when she is ready to talk. I am having an incredibly difficult time with not contacting her, texting, calling etc. Keeping myself busy is not enough as I simply have momentary lapses where I wish I could just see her or talk to her. What should I do? Is it normal for a woman to take more than 7 days to figure things out? I fear of a potential breakup from her and we have never argued to that point before. I know that respect for her wishes is a big deal to her and I want to honor that, but the waiting is killing me. I feel like just texting her to say "I'm ready when you are to talk" but its obvious that I am and I don't want to pressure her. Thanks again for any help.
Author jack310 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Posted March 22, 2009 anyone? I'm very tempted to call her best friend and let her know the situation. I don't know what to do anymore. I admit that typing out my concerns help, but I don't want to lose her...
Excellent Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Don't contact her. 4 years together? She is most def. thinking about you, no need to think about that. Leave her alone and let her miss you. Contacting her will only push her further away.
Author jack310 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Posted March 22, 2009 thanks for your reply Excellent. I feel like she is testing me in a way to see if I will respect her wishes to give her space (after any form of argument between us I have always been quick to fix while she may take longer). It helps to get any one else's perspective on things. I just hope shes looking to work things out as we have never broken up and this is the only time we've ever gone NC.
gavinus Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Stay NC!!! it will be worth it in the end, keep being strong
Author jack310 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Posted March 22, 2009 well she has finally contacted me asking to meet tomorrow night. I have dinner plans and will probably drive her to apt afterwards. Any advice on how to tackle our conversation? Let her speak and only react? I have so much to say, but don't want to pressure her. thanks for any help.
Island Girl Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Let her do the talking. Be prepared that she may say she doesn't think it's working. If she does say that realize you may or may not be getting the real reasons. But remind yourself that it doesn't matter. Over is over. So you get up and leave. Then drive around the block and park and scream or cry or whatever. But do not give her a reaction of pleading or desperation. And realize you are in NC still when you leave. NO CONTACT. NONE. Now -- She may be just wanting to approach some things she is unhappy with in the relationship or her own life. If that is the case all is not lost. But you still must not plead or be desperate in any way. Just take things in the conversation as they come. I feel for you. And I am so glad you did not tell her you'd cancel your dinner plans to be available for the talk but instead made plans for after. That was a really good move.
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