SoulSearch_CO Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 I LOOOOOOVE when a guy opens the door for me. My XH opened doors (including car doors) for me almost every single time even while we were married (5 years we were together, 4 married). The only exceptions were if I told him I was okay with him not doing it, he was tired, we were in a hurry, etc. But usually, as a rule, he opened the door.
WorriedOne Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 This thread is hilarious. Guys, we should always open the car door for women. Girlfriend or wife, this is a very basic rule. I suppose people without proper upbringings were never taught this. I am shocked and amazed at some of the comments made in this thread. Other things a true man will always do: -walk on the streetside when escorting your woman on any sidewalk -never walk in front of your woman unless you're going to open a door or assist finding your way through a thick crowd -never sit at a table until after all the females at the table have been seated
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 This thread is hilarious. Guys, we should always open the car door for women. Girlfriend or wife, this is a very basic rule. I suppose people without proper upbringings were never taught this. I am shocked and amazed at some of the comments made in this thread. Other things a true man will always do: -walk on the streetside when escorting your woman on any sidewalk -never walk in front of your woman unless you're going to open a door or assist finding your way through a thick crowd -never sit at a table until after all the females at the table have been seated :love: YES...all very good points!
voldigicam Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Has to have context. And then it works. How else does a 20 something female end up eager to be accompanied by a 50 something fellow? The whole old-school effect. Includes respectful address (I use the cute "Miss Nancy" or whatever her name is, m'am etc.) to everyone. I also am very courteous and respectful to everyone. Pretty much all the time. This is easy and effortless to me. Especially to my elders. With perhaps an educating edge to the young. Pull out chair at dinner. Run the ordering effortlessly, controlling the over-eager or incompetent help. Car door. Flowers. A hand out appropriately - usually the touch lingering just a breath past what's required. Never initiate the kiss until it's asked for. Always a gentleman. Read the circumstances. After removing an article of her clothing, fold it correctly and place aside. Treat her as dessert. Old school works extremely well. In private and public. I'm glad the young haven't figured it out - or maybe they couldn't pull it off. Probably not. The young are so "cool" with each other. But the 20 somethings start blushing and giggling when treated like ladies. Oh, the car door. Very important - can determine early in the evening how she's really dressed - thigh highs and something frilly, or pure industrial. Gives a guide to how to run the evening!
alphamale Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 what if you're always taking public transportation and there are no doors to open?
Art_Critic Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 what if you're always taking public transportation and there are no doors to open? Then you give her a wee pat on the ass when she step onto the train before you
OpenBook Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 This thread is hilarious. Guys, we should always open the car door for women. Girlfriend or wife, this is a very basic rule. I suppose people without proper upbringings were never taught this. I am shocked and amazed at some of the comments made in this thread. Other things a true man will always do: -walk on the streetside when escorting your woman on any sidewalk -never walk in front of your woman unless you're going to open a door or assist finding your way through a thick crowd -never sit at a table until after all the females at the table have been seated These rules make my knees weak. My GF's too. We definitely sit up and take notice - and view the guy in a positive light - when he does these things. WorriedOne, were you also taught to take your hat off whenever you enter someone's home or go inside a restaurant? I had a BF who did not know about this rule, and boy was he ever shocked when my Dad politely asked for his hat!!
WorriedOne Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 These rules make my knees weak. My GF's too. We definitely sit up and take notice - and view the guy in a positive light - when he does these things. WorriedOne, were you also taught to take your hat off whenever you enter someone's home or go inside a restaurant? I had a BF who did not know about this rule, and boy was he ever shocked when my Dad politely asked for his hat!! Hats always come off inside houses and restaurants. Fast food joints, you can leave them on. I've dated a lot in the last year and I am always told how nice it is that I open doors and that their last boyfriend/whatever did not do that. Always amazes me! I feel WEIRD when I don't do any of these things for my gal.
chrissylee Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I hate it. I just don't see the point. Maybe if I had a broken arm or had a bunch of bags in my hand then it would be nice. Otherwise it would make me feel like the guy was treating me like I was helpless. Thus thread reminds me of a girl I saw a few weeks back. She had just gotten home with her boyfriend and just sat in the car until he came around to open her door. I was honestly amazed that there are actually women who still expect that. Opening a door when you get to a car is one thing but for someone to just sit there and wait for a guy to open a doop for them is insane.
Sam Spade Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 What is your view on a guy opening a car door for a lady on a date? Like say, for example, when you coming out of a restaurant? I usually open the doors into buildings for my date but never really consistently done the car door thing. Women, is that overkill or do you like that? I don't/wouldn't care what women think I do it all the time , okay, maybe 98% of the time. I betcha you can't go wrong with this as long as you don't implicitly make a big deal out of it
Sam Spade Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Hats always come off inside houses and restaurants. Fast food joints, you can leave them on. Yeah, but in those circumstances you still need to tilt it under a rakish angle
Shygirl15 Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I suppose people without proper upbringings were never taught this. I am shocked and amazed at some of the comments made in this thread. Other things a true man will always do: -walk on the streetside when escorting your woman on any sidewalk -never walk in front of your woman unless you're going to open a door or assist finding your way through a thick crowd -never sit at a table until after all the females at the table have been seated I agree. These minor but yet important ettiquettes is what differentiates the gentlemen from the jerks, IMO.
Sam Spade Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 While all that stuff is nice, for me, I don't want the help...esp. with somethign like boxes. I'm a small girl and if I'm able to carry heavy boxes all by myself it's a sense of accomplishment. I did it myself and feel good about it. Same with the shoveling. I spent an hour one day this winter shoveling my car out. People offered to help but I said no...again when it was done, sense of self-accomplishment. Anything a man can do, I can do it...and probably better. High five, man!
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 While all that stuff is nice, for me, I don't want the help...esp. with somethign like boxes. I'm a small girl and if I'm able to carry heavy boxes all by myself it's a sense of accomplishment. I did it myself and feel good about it. Same with the shoveling. I spent an hour one day this winter shoveling my car out. People offered to help but I said no...again when it was done, sense of self-accomplishment. Anything a man can do, I can do it...and probably better. I agree with you when it comes to random guys offering help. I do find that insulting. I can shovel the snow, I can change my own damn tire (why did it take 3 "NO, THANK YOUs" to get them to go away? Maybe it was the pouring rain and pitch black night...hmmm...I don't care.) I don't like it when strangers assume I need help. I'm a little put off when they offer ONCE, but if they give me the "are you sure?" I want to KICK them. THAT makes me angry. "NO" means "NO." Freakin hell. For some reason it's much different when it's a man I'm romantically involved with. It comes across sweet. It makes me weak in the knees.
Art_Critic Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I don't like it when strangers assume I need help. I'm a little put off when they offer ONCE, but if they give me the "are you sure?" I want to KICK them. THAT makes me angry. "NO" means "NO." Freakin hell. Answer this honestly... Would you be upset if you had a flat tire in the rain and 10 guys drove by and only looked at you ? Do you think when you got back to the office you would be saying " not one effing person stopped to help me.. what is this world coming to ?.. all they would do is stare at me.. "
carhill Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Hey, the last time we had a blowout on the truck, the guys at a pump shop across the highway sent over one of their road service trucks and brought us some, um, refreshment and change the wheel. They saw me, without any control, dart across the highway and end up in the drainage ditch. They figured I needed something to calm my nerves and wanted to help. I initially refused their help; stubborn "I can do it" - itis. You know, I'm a man and I've been changing flats since I was a kid; stuff like that. I reconsidered (after a few stern looks from my wife ) and accepted their generosity. I gained a potential customer and made a few friends. The moral of the (true) story is accepting the sincerely generous actions of others does not demean one's sense of independence and/or self-worth. It doesn't matter if one man is changing another man's flat tire or a man is opening a door for a woman. IMO, be thankful there are people out there like that. It sure put a smile on my face that day, and still does, when I drive by there. Hopefully the skid marks will be gone soon
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Answer this honestly... Would you be upset if you had a flat tire in the rain and 10 guys drove by and only looked at you ? Do you think when you got back to the office you would be saying " not one effing person stopped to help me.. what is this world coming to ?.. all they would do is stare at me.. " Nope. I honestly would not. It was 10pm (or later) at night and raining. I was minding my own damn business. I was completely off the road, so not in any danger. Changing my tire. These two guys stopped and asked if I wanted help. OK - I was a little annoyed just because I was already half-way through. Did it not look like I knew what I was doing, or what? I said, "No, thank you." So not only do I not know how to change a tire, but obviously I don't REALLY mean "NO" when I say it because they asked if I was sure. And they looked REALLY reluctant to leave. So, no - it would not bother me if 10 guys drove by and left me alone. If I needed somebody to change my damn tire for me, I'd call my insurance's roadside assistance or a tow company. I'm sorry, but it's insulting. I try to take it with a grain of salt the first time they ask. But when they say, "Are you sure?" they're just begging to be beaten. LOL I don't see guys stopping by to ask other guys if they want help changing their tire (unless it's OBVIOUS that they are clearly struggling). Are you kidding? Why should females get special treatment like that? Opening a door is chivalrous. Offering to take over a job for me that I am taking care of just fine is downright insulting.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Yeah, I just had to clarify the difference, here. If I'm already doing the freaking job and I'm doing just fine - leave me alone. The HUGE difference would be if I actually LOOK helpless. This past winter I was driving a front-wheel drive with poor tires and a freak snowstorm hit (the roads had been COMPLETELY DRY the night before). I ended up spinning out and my back tires hanging off the pavement "step" on the shoulder. I was stuck. I was in nice clothes and girly shoes - I couldn't dig myself out. So I called roadside assistance. A sheriff's deputy happened by, stopped, and shoveled me out. I was beyond grateful. But if I'm already doing the job, don't insult my intelligence.
Trialbyfire Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 That kind of stuff never bothers me. If anything, it's welcome intervention. I'm more than happy to admit that a man is physically stronger and if he wants to help with something that requires physical strength, it's a sweet and courteous gesture. For example when I used to do a bit of business travel. If it was for an extended stay, I would bring my larger luggage (a girl can't bring enough shoes with her. ). There was always some nice man who would drag it off the baggage carousel for me, since it's about half my size. While I can do it myself, I've always wondered what would happen if I fell forward onto the belt.
kashmir Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 Nope. I honestly would not. It was 10pm (or later) at night and raining. I was minding my own damn business. I was completely off the road, so not in any danger. Changing my tire. These two guys stopped and asked if I wanted help. OK - I was a little annoyed just because I was already half-way through. Did it not look like I knew what I was doing, or what? I said, "No, thank you." So not only do I not know how to change a tire, but obviously I don't REALLY mean "NO" when I say it because they asked if I was sure. And they looked REALLY reluctant to leave. So, no - it would not bother me if 10 guys drove by and left me alone. If I needed somebody to change my damn tire for me, I'd call my insurance's roadside assistance or a tow company. I'm sorry, but it's insulting. I try to take it with a grain of salt the first time they ask. But when they say, "Are you sure?" they're just begging to be beaten. LOL I don't see guys stopping by to ask other guys if they want help changing their tire (unless it's OBVIOUS that they are clearly struggling). Are you kidding? Why should females get special treatment like that? Opening a door is chivalrous. Offering to take over a job for me that I am taking care of just fine is downright insulting. I would offer that kind of help to males or females. Maybe slightly more to females, but both genders nonetheless. Honestly, I find it insulting that YOU are insulted by a guy or two simply offering assistance. They aren't degrading your intelligence or ability to complete a task. They're just offering you some of their own time in order to help make your life more efficient. Nothing wrong with that.
era Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 What is your view on a guy opening a car door for a lady on a date? I like it!
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I would offer that kind of help to males or females. Maybe slightly more to females, but both genders nonetheless. Honestly, I find it insulting that YOU are insulted by a guy or two simply offering assistance. They aren't degrading your intelligence or ability to complete a task. They're just offering you some of their own time in order to help make your life more efficient. Nothing wrong with that. And I'm not even a hardcore feminist. I'd have to say it's a result of growing up with a single mother and having to learn how to do "man stuff" because there was nobody there to do it. I went through the effort to learn how to change my own tire, put up Christmas lights outside from the roof, shovel, simple plumbing and electrical work, simple household repairs and remodeling - so yes, it is insulting. I wasn't sitting home learning how to knit - I was learning how to do some of the "man's job." I'd rather be appreciated for the job I'm doing than told to move aside while a man does it for me. If I look like I'm struggling - GREAT. If I'm doing just fine - have some respect.
Els Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I'm better with a pc (both hardware and software) and fixing up home networking than most guys whom I know -- I've helped many guys with such 'techie-guy' stuff before. I also know basic stuff such as fixing lights, toilet flushes, etc as well or nearly as well as the typical modern man. I still find it a nice gesture when a man tries to do nice things for me. I find both extremes of viewpoints immensely immature, to be honest. The woman who throws a fit over a man attempting to do something nice for her is just silly, but so is the woman who goes all out on her bf for forgetting to do it sometimes or not adhering completely to what other people say all guys SHOULD do (not sit down before all women at the table are seated??? reminds me of the Victorian era for some reason). Conversely, the guy who trips over himself running to the girl's car door is just making a fool of himself, and the guy who has absolutely no compunction against walking with his hands free while his girl is juggling several very heavy parcels is a jerk.
anne1707 Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I would personally hate to play up to the weak little woman image and somehow just be dependent on a man for help. It frustrates me when I see women asking men to help them carry out some physical task when I know that I am more than capable of it and that they should be too. I am 5ft and my height is the only thing that I regularly have to concede means I need the help of a man (or tall woman ) where for example I need something reaching from a shelf in the supermarket.
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