Author ezg3 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 Therefore, I personally voted that he tell, but not on his terms--let her have her own chance to dole out whatever she doles out to him. Because he seems to be leaning toward telling--he just wants to make sure that it's at a time and in a way that's advantageous to him and/or hurts him the least. So since he seems to want to tell, despite what the subject line here says...just DO it, don't hang her on even longer. And then take your own lumps. That was my stance and I still believe it, no matter what Jesus would do. Or King David, for that matter (perhaps the better choice to ask, since, if I recall correctly, David was a cheater). Peace... damn i just cant win with some people. im not quite so diabolical. hurting her is the only thing i am thinking about. it really is and you can believe that or not. i know i know...im a cheater therefore anything I do or say for the rest of my life is tainted with the scarlett A. im trying to fix things and I am not sure about the means to get there is all. im not afraid of the outcome on me...its my bed I will lie in it and throw myself on the mercy of the court. i dont want to devastate her...thats why i havent told her..that is the only reason why. telling would suck and lift a huge burden off of me but im still not. anyway its my problem. thanks for all of the input.
Athena Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 EZG, I can say this: if you ARE going to tell your wife, do so soon. The sooner the better. Because the BS needs to be living in reality... in a marriage based on truth, not on lies. So even if you start behaving well from now on, but she discovers the truth in two years time, she will be even more devastated that she has to re-think the last two years, that you lied for so long, as well as the betrayal of infidelity. I think as much as infidelity hurts the BS, the lies hurt much, much more.
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