beautifulheartaches Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 I'm in a horrible situation right now and I'm not sure if I can fix it. My ex and I broke up last year, mostly due to my depression and inability to communicate properly with him about my feelings. After that we didn't speak for a while and I got my head together eventually and started to get my life back on track. Recently we've been talking and texting and realised that we both stll have strong feelings for each other. When we eventually met up the chemistry was still there and we ended up kissing which got a bit heated and looked like it was heading for more but he pushed me away. Now he says that I didn't respond to his hints and that things haven't changed enough for us to be together. I am devastated and want to meet him to talk properly about how we feel but he doesn't know if it's a good idea. I know he's afraid of being hurt but I need him to see that I never want to hurt him and that we're no good at staying away from each other. Even if we don't get bacat he can still together I'd like to show him that he can still talk to me, we were good friends for years before getting together and I can't stand losing that. I just don't know how to convince him to see me.
samspade Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Just be honest. Email or write him a letter telling him that you were hoping he would be interested in trying again, but if that's not possible, at the very least you'd like to remain friends and won't press the issue. Then, don't press the issue. If you truly don't mind being friends, then leave it at that. You can't make someone want to be with you.
Author beautifulheartaches Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 He's told me that he does want to be with me but not if things haven't changed. I just need the opportunity to prove to him that I am able to talk about this stuff now. He's been hurt in the past and I understand why he's so cautious but I truly love him and hate the thought of him not being a part of my life. I've asked him to consider it and now I'm just waiting.
kimbop Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Well I can see the viewpoint of your ex since I was in a similar position as him. If the problem was your inability to communicate with sencerity then what you need to do is to show him how you feel as genuine as possible. First an apology is in order for your treatment of him when you broke up with him. State why you did what you did and now you realize it as a horrible mistake. You need to gain his trust so don't make excuses for your actions. Rather own up to your part and then tell him earnestly how much you still love him and while you can't guarantee it won't happen again in the future (because no one can guarentee anything for the future), you'll do everything possible to prevent it from happening. And if you feel the surges of doubt with him again, you need to assure him that you will alert him as soon as possible rather than let it fester. It's best that you write him a letter or email him since it's easier to collect your thoughts and put it more articulately and coherently when written. Then you need to wait for his response. If he doesn't respond after your heartfelt attempt, then it's time for you to move on.
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