rusty1109 Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Hi, Basically i am in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. We've been together a year. Two months ago she had a fall out with her male housemate, he refused to give her some things he had borrowed back. I sent him a few texts to try and see what was going on and he responded by sending me an erotic picture if my girlfriend which i knew he must have either taken or been sent by my girlfriend. He said she had sent the picture but that they hadn't slept together. I confronted her and she lied about it until she couldn't deny it any more. She gave me soe reason why she'd sent it and said she was sorry. I forgave her and we carried on. However recently i have found out that she did sleep with him (i have absolute proof). She has a quite a low self esteem and while i was away she had some problems with another housemate which he helped her get over. Apparently she went out driving in his car a few times (i was fine with that i don't get jealous) and apparently he had a crush on her and wanted to have kids with her (how these issues came out i don't know) but she turned him and definitely never slept with him. Anyway she's in another house now and this guy has gone off to another town (apparently owing rent and taking a few of my girlfriends possessions). I'm going to confront her with the new evidence when she gets home. I love her so much i think i know what i should do but i'm not sure i'm strong enough. She'd do anything for me and i think she does love me (for what that's worth) but i just know it will never be the same after this. What do i do?? There are a few other issues like her not earning quite as much money as me and having some debt, she does cry a lot and doesn't like me going back on sunday nights but that would take a long time to go into
lostsunsets Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Sorry to here about your girlfriend. Whats the undeniable proof? She obviously felt she needed the attention. Some people can work through it some people can't. Before you confront her. Give her the chance to come clean. Ask her if she has anything to tell you. Then ask her if she has been unfaithful. Don't be specific about this, because in truth, she may admit to having sex with someone completely different. Grill her a while, before producing your proof.
Author rusty1109 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 in a chat history on her computer she commented how she hadn't cheated on me AGAIN. I was looking for a something innocent before anyone says i was snooping.
samspade Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Dump her. Really the photograph was enough. She's behaving badly and not fulfilling what you need in a girlfriend. Find someone local. There's not even any reason to be Perry Mason about it with the evidence. She will probably try to twist her way out of it. In any case, her words mean less than her actions, which are very immature.
lostsunsets Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Snooping. So what? She's already proved she will spread her legs for other guys. I tell you what. If she complains about you snooping tell her she's right. And that you can't be trusted not to snoop on her cheating a$$. So you are going to insure her privacy buy dumping her. This way she can get horizontal with anyone and not worry about anybody caring.
reservoirdog1 Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 When cheaters get found out because their partner "snooped", they always go ballistic initially about the invasion of their privacy. It's textbook. It's also bullshyt, and an attempt to divert attention from the real issue (their betrayal). Trusting her again would be hard enough if you weren't in an LDR. But imagine how much it's going to suck for you to spend every evening when you're away from her wondering if she's banging somebody else. Dump her man... you should be with somebody better than her.
In Like Flynn Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Well if you continue to live apart this is bound to happen again. School is just a excuse....either go to a school closer or just accept that this relationship is just friends with benefits. Just my opinion!!!
Author rusty1109 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 it's long distance as i'm in the forces so not going to be able to move unfortunately. I make it home every weekend and we love being together but it's never long enough. I'm not sure i can dump her i'm pretty loved up here, i'll probably forgive her but i know i shouldn't.
samspade Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 I'm not sure i can dump her i'm pretty loved up here, i'll probably forgive her but i know i shouldn't. There is nothing wrong with forgiving her, but you should also dump her. Of course you can, saying you can't is just an excuse because you think you need her. You don't. You are better off alone than with a cheater.
Bryanp Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Let me see if I get this straight. You visit her every weekend. In return, she has sent erotic pictures to another man. She has had sex with a different man behind your back and put your health at risk for STD's. What do you think her reaction would be if the roles were reversed? She did not even have enough respect for you to confess. Your girlfriend is a cheater. Maybe you should seriously ask yourself why would you love a person who lies to your face and screws another man behind your back? You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions are speaking volumes. She clearly has no problem disrespecting you. If you do not respect yourself then who will? She has been playing you for a fool.
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