Aerorobyn Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I'm going through a break up right now. I don't think it's something either of us TRULY wanted, but he's been saying since the day we broke up that we just need to let Time pass, and see where time leads us. It may lead us back together, it may not. The break up only happened like 5 days ago, but we're gonna try remaining friends the best we can. I'm hoping that, once the end of this semester approaches around May, that if we're still friends and getting along, and I think there's still something there, that I could try asking him out? As friends at first...just casually asking him someday if he'd like to go get Starbucks or something. Maybe a new beginning can form? But I'm not sure! That's why I'd love to hear stories about people who have gone through a break up, and who have had a second chance! I would love to see if I have any hope. Also, is it advisable for me to do what I was thinking--that if we're still good friends, try asking him out once our stress loads are down a bit? Or should I let him make the call since he ended things?
chrissreef Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 sure you can ask, I would... BUT DO NOT i repeat DO NOT hold onto hope and expect he will come back. The best thing is to move on, heal and hope things might work. i lost my 2.5 yr fiancee to a personal trainer/surfer/off road/bar/party guy and will hope she comes back because she said basically the same thing "we need time to heal, then i don't know what will happen" - but since this and other mixed signals, she hasn't given me any signal that her interest in him isn't serious. she says she loves me, but she's also very clear that there is no more "us" and she's moving on - but doesn't know the future but doesn't want contact for several months. your absense will either cause them to leave or make them realize how much they love you (so i'm told) since my breakup i've probably met 10 couples where they broke up and someone came back months later and it worked out. i have no idea how many never came back. most people on this site will say he said "time" and the whole "friendship" thing because he doesn't want to seem like the bad guy or somehow he's thinking he's not hurting your feelings/helping you or that he's just leaving the door open incase he changes his mind. move on and heal and don't hold onto hope. hope for the best, expect the worst - focus on yourself. things will get better. I'm at 3 months and still hurt bad, but it gets a little better every day.
AmazingLove Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Nothing wrong in asking him to starbucks or something.. I'd say maybe 4 to 6 weeks down the road.. try to have it casual & see how YOU feel about him, and how he feels about you. How long were you two together? I'm sorry your going through this pain right now, its definitely tough. Try to stick close to friends & people who care about you right now. Sometimes its just getting through each moment..rather then each day!! Stay strong & stay hopeful for your future!
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