crisla Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I wrote a looongg post, but it was gone after I hit preview!! Anyway.. Hi, I'm new. Pardon my English, it's my second language My story.. ( I made it short as much as possible because I don't feel like typing it all over again..) We broke up on January 28, 2009. We still see each other 4 days a week because we work at the same place. We promised each other that we will stay friends ( it was a nightmare). During our break up, he still talks to me at work and we still joke to each other even though its akward and painful. I know how he feels and he know how I feel, but we were too proud to tell each other that we missed each other.. And he acted like a different person than I knew he was. I mean he can be mean when he talks to me.. ( something he never did when we were together) (Our problem is really complicated and we just cannot be together anymore). Only around 3 weeks after we broken up, he told me that he has a new girlfriend. I was furious and didn't know what to say to him. I asked him why is he telling me that, because I didn't want to know. I was so hurt and finally l told myself to forget about him completely but he called me that week telling me that he missed me. He said he doesn't have any feelings for this girl and he has a feelings for me. I was so angry because he had a girlfriend and he is telling me he missed me? We didn't talk at work that week and I ignored him completely when I saw him at work. By the end of the week, he talked to me again and pretended that everything never happened and we are friends again. Deep deep in my heart I want him to talk to me and I'm afraid to have him out of my life completely, but I know if we still talk to each other, I will never get over him. It was like that for several weeks until last week we had a huge fight. Because I come to my senses that he actually never respected me and he keep making me feel like a complete loser. He keep messing up with my head, saying that he missed me and loved me while HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY! He called me last week on Monday and I told him that I need to talk to him and wanted to make it clear to him that I cannot be his friend if he keep doing this to me. He was a complete jerk when we talked on the phone, he was saying that his girlfriend is gonna be there soon.. blah.. blah.. I told him that I want to talk to him in person, I just cannot talk to him on the phone because he is being a complete jerk. He refused to meet me. I was mad but I said : fine.. whatever.. I told him too that he has a girlfriend too soon. You know what he said? He said : Don't worry about my life, don't tell me what to do with my life!!.. Anyway, that night, I decided to tell him that I don't want to be his friend anymore and I texted him that I had to break my promise. It just too painful. I blocked his number from my cellphone so he cannot call me. He didn't call me btw. On Thursday, I saw him at work, he didn't say hi. I ignored him. After just 1 hour when I was working, he called my name and said : HELLO!.. I froze and didn't know what to do but I waved hi anyway.. that's all. We have a break at 2.00 PM and I went home. While I was driving home, he called me. I ignored his call. He called again a half hour after that, I didn't answer. But I chicken out and thinking what I'm gonna tell him when I see him again ( we have to go back to work at 5.00 PM) , and I made up a story to one of coworker there that my cellphone is broke ( I made sure he heard our conversation). I think he bought it. He didn't ask me and I tried to avoided him the whole time so he didn't have a chance to talk to me at all. On Friday, I work in the evening. He called me 5 times in the afternoon. I ignored his calls. At this point I don't care anymore what he's thinking about me. We saw each other at work but I keep avoiding him. I know he was trying to talk to me, but he didn't have a chance. At the end of the day, when I was driving home from work, he sent me a message. It said that he will wait for me at the place we used to met and wanted to have a talk with me. At first, I wasn't sure if I wanted to see him, but I turned around anyway and we met and had a talk. We talked about everything, how he's hurting me, how messed up everything was after we broken up.. and he was nice just like when we were together. I cried because I missed him so much. He hugged me and kissed me... He said he still loved me.. But we just cannot be together.. We are friends now (again). Am I crazy? I'm torturing myself. I will never get over him if we still talk to each other. Just Tuesday he called me and he said that he missed me and loved me. I still love him too.. but we just cannot be together, our problem is really complicated and there is no way that we can be together... Help me.. I'm afraid to lose him completely but I DO want to move on. Is this a really good idea to be friends again. I mean we still see each other 4 days a week. I suppose to see him tonight when I go to work, but he told me when he called me on Tuesday that he won't be at work today. Just when I'm typing this, I missed him already.. I'll see him tomorrow at work. I don't know what to do. I'm so confused.. Help me..
silverfish Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 You said you can't be together and it's complicated but not why. If you work together you are going to have to get along, avoid eachother, or one of you leaves. Talking about why you can't be together for whatever reason that is, is just hurting you over and over again. The more time you spend talking to him about why you can't be together is making you both focus on the negative aspects of your relationship.Was it a mutual break up or was it his idea? BTW I don't take my own advice either - still having those 'Why can't we be together' convos myself, but it's only been two weeks..........I live in hope
Rose81 Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 He is trying to move on but wants to make sure that you don't move on. I think he wants to keep you on the back burner so he can call you when his new girlfriend bores him. Don't let him do this to you. Kissing and hugging is more than friends....that becomes friends with benefits. Maybe you can be moved to another department at your job. I know it is hard but be strong.
Author crisla Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 The break up was his idea at first but I accepted it because its for the best. We were together for 6 months. At the beginning on our relationship, I wanted to break up with him so many times. I realized that he was just this immature guy but I didn't have a heart to break up with him. I went along and accepted him the way he is. The reason why I kept him was his kiss and the love making! I fly when he kissed me! The love making was incredible. The best I ever had! But now.. look at me. I am the one who cannot live without him Basically we don't have a future at all. He is just this immature and type of guy that never think about future at all. He is always on my mind every single day since our break up. I have ups and downs days, but he is always on my mind. Sometimes I feel so low and so depress. I cannot live like this. I hate myself. I see him 4 days a week, it's hard. When he is nice to me I want him again.. Rose, one of my friend told me too that he likes to keep me around and wants me to STILL love and think of him forever while he is trying to move on! THAT JERK! But why I miss him? I hate I hate I hate this!!!!!!!!!
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