IceIceBaby Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 My boyfriend is 28 and I am 27. We have been dating for over three years. After the first year, he was laid off from his job. Instead of looking for a new job immediately, he waited six months and took a "vacation" while on unemployment. He ended up having to take a job in retail just to make some money and now works at the company's corporate office making $12/hour. For obvious reasons he now has no money. Not a single dollar in savings and not a single dollar towards his retirement. He doesn't like to discuss the future and gets upset if we discuss moving in, marraige, anything. So we don't really talk about it. I have been working full time for the past five years and have been saving like crazy for a house and retirement. My biggest fear is that this guy has gone as far as he is going to go. At this point his resume/work experience is a mess and I'm not sure who would even hire him for a new job. I'm not looking for a guy to make hundreds of thousands a year...just a good average salary to meet me half way. It's so hard to make it in this economy...the last thing I need is someone who's going to make it harder. So my question is...how long do I wait? He says he's applying for jobs (but he's said that in the past and it's been a lie) but in this economy no one is getting jobs. I really do not want to be in the same position five years from now. I love this guy, but it's amazing how unattractive someone can become to you when they're going nowhere in their life. How important is money, career, etc? Do I need to hold off on the things I want (marraige, house, kids) for this guy? How long is too long to wait for him?
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I guess it depends on what's more important to you - your relationship with him, or your ambitions. I would think that asking how long you should wait before giving up on him would indicate you're not that committed to HIM. But before up and dumping him, I think I'd take a look around this forum at how many horror stories there are about trying to find a good man. Then decide which road is worth it to you.
2sure Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Your post sounds like it is more about priorities than waiting. Sure, you can wait for him to "grow up" - and sometimes thats OK, fair, and worth it. But you have pretty solid ideas as to what your priorities are. You are realistic and practical. He isnt. And the difference between your priorities seems pretty vast at this point. Priorities are basically Values - having the same values is key when it comes to a lifetime partner and children.
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