Bells Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Okay, I had two situations where a woman would call me to make a date (and we used the phone quite often to talk) Then all of a sudden, while I'm there, they don't show up (I don't have texting on my phone, thought it was just an unnecessary bell and whistle). I was suppose to meet someone for dinner and a movie, she calls me to ask me out....and I'm at the location, waiting, waiting waiting.....nothing...she stands me up. I email her when I get home and go "WTheck were you?" And she goes, "Well, I texted you, didn't you get my message? Something came up!" And I tell her, "Um no I don't have texting, but, wouldn't it be common sense to call the person if they weren't RESPONDING to their text?" I had the same thing happen, I was stood up by texting another time as well. With that said, have you noticed people have weak arguements when they pull crap on you? That their arguement cannot even stand on 2 feet because of how stupid the excuse sounds? Anyone ever have reasons where they were stood up. But thing is, the personw ho did the standing up will DENY they ever stood a person up.....and when asked, "Well, how did you NOT stand them up?" And they go, "Well, I was there" See they show up, make no effort to look for you and leave after 5 mins. And they use the, "Well, I was there, but I couldn't find you" line. Instead of being blantantly rude...they NEW Thing is to actually SHOW UP, but pretend to look for you, then go off with their co-workers for some drinks. Ever have people who DENY standing you up, when they actually did?
Shygirl15 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Maybe it's about time you start behaving like a gentleman and pick these ladies up from their locations. That would resolve a lot of these issues, I think.
Author Bells Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 Maybe it's about time you start behaving like a gentleman and pick these ladies up from their locations. That would resolve a lot of these issues, I think. Um...this is online dating, women agree to MEET at locations, not be picked up at them. Use common sense.
Shygirl15 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Online dating or not, my common sense tells me a gentleman would always pick a lady up for a date. This has been my experience as well. No wonder you get stood up all the time, Bells. Stop being stubborn and learn something new, for a change.
bubblegum Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Um...this is online dating, women agree to MEET at locations, not be picked up at them. Use common sense. I'm wondering about the type of stuff you say in order to get a date. Why don't you give us an example of the internet exchanges you had with this woman before you set up this date?
northstar1 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Online dating or not, my common sense tells me a gentleman would always pick a lady up for a date. This has been my experience as well. No wonder you get stood up all the time, Bells. Stop being stubborn and learn something new, for a change. Sorry, but he's right. Very few girls from online dating are going to have a guy pick them up on a 1st date. Too many crazy people out there. He's not being stubborn. Texting to cancel a date is both lazy and rude.
Shygirl15 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Something is definitely wrong here because he has been stood up many times in the past by DIFFERENT WOMEN in more or less the same fashion. Ok, so this one was lazy and rude, what about the rest? Telling him he's right when he's clearly not, is not helping him at all. But, heck, what do I care.
northstar1 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Something is definitely wrong here because he has been stood up many times in the past by DIFFERENT WOMEN in more or less the same fashion. Ok, so this one was lazy and rude, what about the rest? Telling him he's right when he's clearly not, is not helping him at all. But, heck, what do I care. Well, I can't comment on his past issues with dating, as I haven't read his stuff, but I'm just saying that I don't know too many girls who are going to be okay with having a guy pick them up on date 1.
Author Bells Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 Well, I can't comment on his past issues with dating, as I haven't read his stuff, but I'm just saying that I don't know too many girls who are going to be okay with having a guy pick them up on date 1. That's because Shy girl just likes to use the strawman fallacies and other such nonsense for a weak arguments. She applies her opinions of what she likes in a date (to pick HER up) but it's all about her, right? For instance, to provide an example the said woman I met online said she'd call me to let me know when she'd be available to out with me. (I had suggested meeting her in the past, but she said it all depended on her schedule and she'd let me know when she was ready) It was funny, because this was a unique instance where I just put the ball in her court...she said she'd call ME when she was ready, and so I let her. She calls me the day of the date to let me know if I was available that night to meet, I said I was....and we arranged a time that night to meet. I go there, she does not show up And I don't get stood up all the time...only happened twice that one year. The rest of the online stuff is typical...and it's typical for most men who do online from the stories I hear from them They either want an online penpal because they aren't ready to meet yet...or they are just doing it for an ego boost. They typically disappear one day when you correspond with them by email. Basically when you attempt to take it to the next level the "Meeting", they disappear or get cold feet. I think some people, probably men to, are attracted to the idea of always SEEKING, but never actually sealing the deal with online dating. Typically what happens there is they probably found the "bigger better deal" and then when they found that guy, they dump him before meeting him in person for another BBD, and wash, rinse , repeat.
Author Bells Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 Online dating or not, my common sense tells me a gentleman would always pick a lady up for a date.. Unfortunately for you this an untrue statement. You say "a lady", but all ladies are different, and some don't want to be picked up on a first date.
mr.dream merchant Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Its not a requirement to pick your date up from their place. Maybe if you have an entitlement complex yeah.
dreamergrl Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I wouldn't want to be picked up on a first date by someone I don't know well yet. However, OP you're constantly posting about why this is wrong and why that is wrong. Have you stepped back and looked at anything you could do differently?
Author Bells Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 Its not a requirement to pick your date up from their place. Maybe if you have an entitlement complex yeah. *ahem* Shygirl lol
bean1 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Uh, I don't want any online stranger (or even if I met him in the local bookstore) coming to my home on the first date (or 2nd or even 3rd). No thanks. Don't be foolish. I doubt he's a murderer but if he's mental or needy, it's just uncomfortable. You wouldn't get into the car with a stranger on the street, would you?
bubblegum Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I'm wondering about the type of stuff you say in order to get a date. Why don't you give us an example of the internet exchanges you had with this woman before you set up this date? You skipped my response, Bells. Why? I realize she called you and set it up, and then flaked. But I think the exchange of internet chat might shed some light and help you to predict outcomes better in the future. So please share.
Shygirl15 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 *ahem* Shygirl lol It's not a win or lose situation. I'm simply suggesting what I think might work for you. Just an opinion, feel free to take it or leave it. A gentleman, IMO, would at least offer to pick a lady up for a date and allow them to make the decision. I don't get a feeling you even do that Bells. I have always been picked up on all dates, not just the 1st. I'm probably lucky then, because I seem to be the only one with abilities to to weed out junkies and I'm usually pretty confident with my choices in the end. And I have always ended up dating exclusively all the guys I have gone on a first date with. Go figure.
lovestruck818 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Online dating or not, my common sense tells me a gentleman would always pick a lady up for a date. This has been my experience as well. No wonder you get stood up all the time, Bells. Stop being stubborn and learn something new, for a change. I would never have some guy I don't know pick me up at my house...
Shygirl15 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I would never have some guy I don't know pick me up at my house... Right. Neither would I if I was randomly going out on a date every now and then with some guys I met online like 2 days ago.
pinkmarble Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I agree that picking them up would solve the problem of being stood up (obviously not if you just "asl???"'d them yesterday). I also prefer to be offered to be picked up. Sheesh, she only offered a solution, you don't have to insult her. Though it seems the problem isn't that the girl gave you a lousy excuse, but that she didn't want to see you.
Lindarose84 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I agree with not wanting to be picked up on the 1st date (or even 2nd, 3rd, or 4th). There has to be a certain comfort level with a guy before I just up and give him my home address. I may not like this guy after the 1st date because he's a nutjob, and then now if he's picked me up, he knows where I live??? No good. I agree with the OP that texting to cancel a date is really in poor form. I think cancelling a date the day of is of poor form as well (unless there's some emergency). If you want to cancel with texts at least do it more than 24 hours in advance and follow up to make sure he/she got it. If you're gonna cancel the day of, have the decency to call. Don't be a coward. Sorry OP that you're having cruddy luck with women who are obviously selfish. Maybe you should do more chatting beforehand to weed women like that out.
Star Gazer Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Online dating or not, my common sense tells me a gentleman would always pick a lady up for a date. This has been my experience as well. Mmmmm, no. I've online dated a LOT and I would never ever ever allow a man to pick me up at my home on a first meeting/date. EVER. Something is definitely wrong here because he has been stood up many times in the past by DIFFERENT WOMEN in more or less the same fashion. Ok, so this one was lazy and rude, what about the rest? Very, very true. strawman fallacies OMG! Does anyone else see this!??!?! :lmao:
bubblegum Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 OMG! Does anyone else see this!??!?! :lmao: No TBF, I skimmed thru and cant find it, but WOW, did he actually say it with his own fingers? Please post the whole post where he said it, I love it!!!!
Star Gazer Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 No TBF, I skimmed thru and cant find it, but WOW, did he actually say it with his own fingers? Please post the whole post where he said it, I love it!!!! Huh? TBF?? You weren't around when the "strawman fallacy" dude was around...so I suppose you wouldn't understand what I was getting at.
bubblegum Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 No, I guess I wasn't and sorry for calling you TBF Star Gazer... I guess I like both of your posts so much I was confuzzled. My apologies. I try and ask questions of posters to help them look at themselves, but I don't think Bells wants to look at himself, he wants to blame his lack of success with women on women, and on more women, and on any woman... poor thing.
Star Gazer Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 No, I guess I wasn't and sorry for calling you TBF Star Gazer... I guess I like both of your posts so much I was confuzzled. My apologies. No worries. LS got a lot of life and laughs out of the "strawman fallacy" guy. I'm hoping someone remembers what I'm talking about... I try and ask questions of posters to help them look at themselves, but I don't think Bells wants to look at himself, he wants to blame his lack of success with women on women, and on more women, and on any woman... poor thing. I totally agree with you there.
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