DollWelch Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 We (he and I) have mutual friends in common, and I really thought he'd invite me to his party. But apparently not. It is a party, he will be having, to celebrate his most recent "accomplishments". I was first introduced to him by a mutual friend, whom is invited to this party because I know both men are close friends with each other. However, for the last couple of months I have been getting to know him -and felt as though he showed some romantic interest in me. So perhaps he and I haven't been around each other to be able to establish connection. But that doesn't mean I should not be invited -because afterall, I am related to such mutual friend mentioned above. Doesn't this automatically make me a good friend to attend his party? And, I know a 2nd mutual friend, whom isn't invited either -knowing that this 2nd mutual friend is closer to him than I. This doesn't make sense. Is the reason he's not inviting me (due to not knowing me well enough) because I may tarnish him image at the party? I don't understand the logic behind all this. Are only the super gorgeous women being invited? Is THIS the reason? He gives off too many hot and cold signals. I can't tell the difference between his "friendliness" and "flirtiness". Link to post Share on other sites
MindoverMatter Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 So, the picture I am getting is this: you know the guy a little and you are somewhat part of his social circle, but in no way are you a close friend. You think there could be something between the two of you and feel down because he did't invite you. You also have some minor self-esteem issues, because you automatically assume that you're not pretty enough for him or the other guests. You also know of at least one other person who isn't invited either. There is no logic to party planning. Sometimes you just invite your very best friends or you invite a group of people whom you know will get along. Sometimes you forget to invite somebody. Nobody has a right to be invited. And no, being a friend to one of his friends does not make you a good friend nor does it guarantee you an invite. Sorry. You've known the guy for months. Nothing happened. Now he is throwing a party and you're not invited. It's time to move on and not waste any more time on the guy. He is just not that into you. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 He sounds pretty cold and I'm going to agree - HJNTITY. I had only known my BF for a couple months and only been serious with him for like a day when he invited me out for his birthday 2 months in the future. Quit wasting your precious time on this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 It sounds like this is your relationship with the guy... correct me if I'm wrong: Him <----friends with----> Your Mutual Friend(s) <----friends with----> You. In other words, the relationship is not like this: Him <---friends with---> You. Under these circumstances, no... I don't think it's fair for you to assume that HE would invite you to the party. If you want to go, perhaps ask one of your mutual friends to be their "+1"? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 You know, it is quite possible he may be romantically interested in you. Gauging this by whether or not he invites you to a party is wrong. You arent officially dating. He MAY be interested. It is quite possible that he , by obligation or preference, has invited another woman who is also interested in or is dating. And because he IS interested in you - decided that inviting you both would be a conflict of interest OR get in the way should he choose to pursue you in the future. I woudnt give it another thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Katherineos123 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Yeah, Im going to agree with everyone else and say that you should either just move on, or actually pursue him and ask him out. I dont think he purposely didnt invite you out of maliciousness or anything, and I feel like that information in actually pretty irrelevant. If you liek this guy, but you dont know where you stand, youre only options are to A) Forget about it and see if he makes a move or B) Take it into your own hands and ask him out The party doesnt seem to have anything to do with it. But I must ask, do you really feel like this guy is only inviting "super gorgeous" women to his party? Because if thats true, why would you even want someone that shallow? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DollWelch Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 I may have painted this picture in bad light, but I know that he's interested in me. I don't think it is "He's Just Not That Into You"; the fact that he gives me a look that says "You're superbly interesting; I can't out do you, I'm too shy" when I am around him, this alone among other things, indicates that he's into me. I don't think it's fair for you to assume that HE would invite you to the party. I am not assuming anything outrageous -and I certainly don't think he "Should Have To" invite me to the party. I simply thought that if he wanted to get to know me better and was kind enough to do so at his so called party, he would have invited me. I correlated the idea of him inviting me to his party, with his interest level. However, on second thought, this is NOT valid. His invitations have nothing to do with his romantic interest. I completely understand that this party may be ONLY for close friends and family -as I know his parents will be there. So it's fair that I am NOT on the invite/guest list. Besides, EVEN IF I was invited, I wouldn't attend; no thanks -delicately put, I don't want to have to make conversation with his parents since I know little about them (and other specific individuals there) because that'd be very awkward for me. The one thing that's bothering me, is the fact that he's not inviting one of his very good male friend (2nd mutual friend) -i.e. this man is a good friend of mine as well, and I hate to see him being excluded because he has a "Bad Habit". I find this insulting, that he doesn't want to invite him because he's scared he'll embarrass him in front of his parents. It's ridiculous. At times, I feel as though he (the party host) is judgmental, cold, and rude. I don't know why he acts in this manner. But in the time I have known him, what I do know is that he is a good person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DollWelch Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 You know, it is quite possible he may be romantically interested in you. Gauging this by whether or not he invites you to a party is wrong. You arent officially dating. He MAY be interested. It is quite possible that he , by obligation or preference, has invited another woman who is also interested in or is dating. And because he IS interested in you - decided that inviting you both would be a conflict of interest OR get in the way should he choose to pursue you in the future. I woudnt give it another thought. I don't quite grasp the concept/idea in your post, 2sure. Are you suggesting that since he's not dating me, then therefore, he must be gathering up the b@lls to officially date me? OR He didn't invite me to the party then that must mean he's interested in pursuing me outside the party scene? Link to post Share on other sites
MindoverMatter Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Okay. I got some questions. 1. Is there anything else besides the look he gives you? Anything that really says he is interested? 2. How well do you know him? 3. Why do you even know so much about the party you would not attend anyway? Are you asking around? 4. What's stopping you from asking him out if you are so sure he is interested? Link to post Share on other sites
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