Ilovehim Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 :(I had access to view his page today... I saw pictures of him grinding on other girls, in Miami, and having so much fun. I already knew this, that he is over me, it has been so long, he is living his life but it hurts so much seeing it all out there. He looks so different too, like a changed person. I didn't look at his comments because I just couldn't deal with more heartache. I logged off right away. Wow, I dont even know him anymore. Why does it hurt so bad? I tell myself, I go out to clubs and grind with guys and dance and have fun with my friends but I mean i dont do it that often. I feel FORGOTTEN.. INVISIBLE.. LIKE I DONT EXIST IN HIS LIFE ANYMORE!! LIKE IM JUST SOMEONE IN HIS PAST... And I was thinking about being his friend but how can I be his friend??? Wow, this hurts soooo much. Im shaking but I cant even cry. Its that feeling of "wow he REALLY has forgotten me" and "wow who is this person? I dont know this person. He looks different. He seems DIFFERENT." :(:(:( How can he be over it SOO MUCH?? I wonder if he ever even listened to one sad song, if he even dropped a single of tear since the first month... I miss the person he once was so much. WHY WHY WHYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! UHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Why am I the only one to hurt over this separation??? I feel like I have to let go but I dont know how to because even when Im out with my friends and having a good time, at the end of the day he is still in my heart.... I feel like an IDIOT. Words cannot even describe how stupid I feel for feeling this way. It bothers me that he has completely moved on and im still in love with him. All the things I want to say, all the things I want to do...it doesnt matter anymore because HE DOESNT CARE TO HEAR THEM..I'll never get to apologize and I'll never get to say ANYTHING....Because I feel like he would be like "Ummm..okayyy...thanks??? but were over so who cares??" No closure, no understanding, no peace of mind, no friendship....just letting go of the one person that meant the world to me and he never gave me a chance to explain myself NOR did he bother to explain anything... two years gone over what??? because were young and he wants to go f**k other b**tch***es...... Im hurting so bad right now...how does asweetheart turn into an a*******!!!!!!!!!! and im angry at myself for not being able to move on.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author Ilovehim Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 ok i just needed to let that all out... i dont understand..i do the same thing...i go out and have fun and grind on guys too... BUT SEEING HIM DO THAT....MY GOD IT HURTS!!!!!! I get this feeling of I dono...it feels like a million of knives went through my heart...because my ex had NEVER even been witha girl before me..so I was never used to him even looking at other girls...so seeing him dance with them and SO INTO IT.... AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I HATE THIS FEELING.....
Author Ilovehim Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 U want to go out and dance with these b**8thes*** and f**u**c*k these chicks!!! While im here like an idiot writing on damn forum about how im hurting...sighhhhhhhhhhhh.........
AMM003 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Awww. Promise yourself not to look anymore. You know the details feed unhealthy thoughts. You are absolutely gorgeous. And you will meet someone that is worthy of you. Keep your head up, k?
monkeymaid Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 it will click, and when it does, hes gonna call. ....i promise. the weirdest thing is, when he does, you wont give a **** anymore. ....look forward to that day. till then, go grind away. youve got nothing to lose.
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