minhotel4f Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 I watched a news program the other day that focused on one of the dating sites catering specifically to those who want affairs. And now, while looking for a tip on dealing with a cell phone privacy issue, I found this site and also oursecretaffair.com, which seems dedicated to helping people manage their affair. I don't know if it's just me, or if it's a good thing, but it seems that society, at least here in the US is becoming more accepting of extramarital relationships. Are they becoming so commonplace that they are almost the norm?
bentnotbroken Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Society isn't more tolerate. It's just people will drop their standards to make a fast buck. And they know some selfish people will keep them in business.
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 ...what goes around comes around, people. We're getting alot of scumbags who have no decency who run things in high places or got the money to fund these sites but you still got alot of people who will not take money for exchange of their services. I heard the NFL put a programming ban on all Ashely Madison commercials. That was shocking within itself.
NewSunrise Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I watched a news program the other day that focused on one of the dating sites catering specifically to those who want affairs. And now, while looking for a tip on dealing with a cell phone privacy issue, I found this site and also oursecretaffair.com, which seems dedicated to helping people manage their affair. I don't know if it's just me, or if it's a good thing, but it seems that society, at least here in the US is becoming more accepting of extramarital relationships. Are they becoming so commonplace that they are almost the norm? No. Technology just brought it out into the open. Sex, especially affairs increase tv viewer ratings or traffic hits online. Times are tough. Advertising is needed.
Holding-On Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 American society is not much more tolerant of affairs than before. Americans like to look people in the eye. That sort of thing. Cheating is considered poor morals. However I have noticed, even here, a much greater tolerance for the ethically non-monogamous (i.e. people practicing ethical swinging or polyamory) than I remember even ten years ago. This could be the result of us all living so d*** long now that you realize you are signing up for 50+ years of having sex with the same person.
confusedinkansas Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I don't believe that society is more "tolerant" - I think it's just that so many people do it we tend to not be SHOCKED by it anymore. It's like swearing on TV. It would be appalling to our grandparents the way they talk ..... But we have grown so accustomed to it we don't always hear it. I was actually just thinking about somethig along this line this morning. After reading so many posts on here I believe that once people reach their early 40's MOST (meaning more than 50%)have either had an affair of the heart - or an all out affair.
NoIDidn't Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Yeah, I agree that society is not more tolerant. They still call people names behind closed doors for this sort of thing. Technology just puts it in our faces more, like another poster already stated.
herenow Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 I agree that the internet has opened up many business opportunities and some people will do anything for a buck. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't doubt that minihotel4F is the person who started this new website (oursecretaffair.com) and this post is a way of publicizing it.
LakesideDream Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 I dissagree with most posting. I think society is ALSOLUTELY more tolerant of infidelity. I offer the following to support my statement: Most states no longer require "grounds" for divorce. Proof of infidelity of one or even both partners is not a factor in divorces. It is not a factor in determining alimony or child custody. The courts are absolutely more tolerant. If required I can cite a half dozen more incidences where society in main shows it tolerance for infidelity.
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 I dissagree with most posting. I think society is ALSOLUTELY more tolerant of infidelity. I offer the following to support my statement: Most states no longer require "grounds" for divorce. Proof of infidelity of one or even both partners is not a factor in divorces. It is not a factor in determining alimony or child custody. The courts are absolutely more tolerant. If required I can cite a half dozen more incidences where society in main shows it tolerance for infidelity. Not all true, texas still got some laws on adultery. North Carolina and a few others still have AOA laws. and NYC is not no fault if you can proof infidelity it does factor.
LakesideDream Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Not all true, texas still got some laws on adultery. North Carolina and a few others still have AOA laws. and NYC is not no fault if you can proof infidelity it does factor. 38 our of 50 states... no fault. The rest will be no fault in the next 3.5 years gaurenteed. Most does not = All. The point still stands. There wouldn't be a no fault revolution in the courts if society wasn't becoming more tolerant. Or argue with facts.
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 38 our of 50 states... no fault. The rest will be no fault in the next 3.5 years gaurenteed. Most does not = All. The point still stands. There wouldn't be a no fault revolution in the courts if society wasn't becoming more tolerant. Or argue with facts. Who said I was arguing, I agree. I was just pointing things out. lol.
OWoman Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 More tolerant than what? Than 100 years ago, certainly. Than it's been for most of human civilisation? Not remotely. Society has always been pretty tolerant of such things - or rather, most societies have always been. Ancient Rome regarded the Marriage as an institution for breeding, economics and inheritance; it was no synonymous with love or sex. Same in Ancient Greece, and in many other societies around the globe. The Hebrews had wives, concubines and slave women for sex. Harems were common in the middle east. Sex outside of marriage was the rule rather than the exception. Courtesans were popular in older times, even in "our own" society. Even in Victorian England, men frequented prostitutes quite openly, "saving" their wives for making babies rather than recreational sex. This "no sex outside of marriage" thing is very new - and, thankfully, pretty short-lived as sense returns.
pkn06002 Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 More tolerant than what? Than 100 years ago, certainly. Than it's been for most of human civilisation? Not remotely. Society has always been pretty tolerant of such things - or rather, most societies have always been. Ancient Rome regarded the Marriage as an institution for breeding, economics and inheritance; it was no synonymous with love or sex. Same in Ancient Greece, and in many other societies around the globe. The Hebrews had wives, concubines and slave women for sex. Harems were common in the middle east. Sex outside of marriage was the rule rather than the exception. Courtesans were popular in older times, even in "our own" society. Even in Victorian England, men frequented prostitutes quite openly, "saving" their wives for making babies rather than recreational sex. This "no sex outside of marriage" thing is very new - and, thankfully, pretty short-lived as sense returns. You almost have to wonder if the "modern way" is just flawed overall. This idea that a marriage can be everything to everyone.
65tr6 Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 More tolerant than what? Than 100 years ago, certainly. Than it's been for most of human civilisation? Not remotely. Society has always been pretty tolerant of such things - or rather, most societies have always been. Ancient Rome regarded the Marriage as an institution for breeding, economics and inheritance; it was no synonymous with love or sex. Same in Ancient Greece, and in many other societies around the globe. The Hebrews had wives, concubines and slave women for sex. Harems were common in the middle east. Sex outside of marriage was the rule rather than the exception. Courtesans were popular in older times, even in "our own" society. Even in Victorian England, men frequented prostitutes quite openly, "saving" their wives for making babies rather than recreational sex. This "no sex outside of marriage" thing is very new - and, thankfully, pretty short-lived as sense returns. one difference though. In those days it was mostly men who strayed not women. I don't think it was "accepted" for women to behave like men did. With women "catching up" in the modern age with men in all areas including infidelity, the rules are changing. I don't think society is any less tolerant. In fact infidelity is looked upon as "sin". We just don't seem to accept it is more common than one wants to admit. That is very sad.
Owl Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 I don't think it's "flawed" in some way. I think that some people want and are capable of maintaining a monogamous relationship...and others don't want it, and/or aren't capable of it. It's not a "one size fits all" thing...I'll agree to that. If you don't like marriage/monogamy...don't get married. Simple enough. Set your own expectations of your relationships...and make every possible effort that anyone you become involved with really does understand your views, and are comfortable with that. And...and this is the part that causes a lot of issues too...if you don't believe in marriage/monogamy, that's fine...but don't let YOUR beliefs interfere with those of others. Just as you don't want to be held to the standard of marriage...don't interfere in the relationships of those that do. Which is the real kicker. If you get involved with someone who's married...while what you're doing is ok for you, and maybe ok for them...it STILL interferes with the OTHER person who's in the triangle. I don't have an issue with those who choose not to marry, or don't believe in monogamy. It's like interacting with other's who don't share your religion...they don't have the right to force theirs upon you, nor can you force yours upon them. I don't know about "tolerance"...I think that the media tends to glorify cheating a lot...but then I also don't think that people would be nearly as devestated and destroyed by cheating if they didn't believe that they and their spouses should be faithful either.
herenow Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 So, I'm going with the idea that the person who started this thread is actually publicizing his or her affair site. One because he or she hasn't been back and two because there are many more well established sites that would have been more appropriate to note if he or she is really trying to make a point about society. So here is an idea for anyone who wants to find a way to spend as much time as possible with their affair partner. Get a divorce.
angie2443 Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 one difference though. In those days it was mostly men who strayed not women. I don't think it was "accepted" for women to behave like men did. With women "catching up" in the modern age with men in all areas including infidelity, the rules are changing. I don't think society is any less tolerant. In fact infidelity is looked upon as "sin". We just don't seem to accept it is more common than one wants to admit. That is very sad. This is what I was thinking. It has always been men who've been allowed to have more than one woman. I don't think untill now women have ever been allowed to have anything extra on the side. Even today, in some parts of the world, women can be stoned for commiting adultry. Still, I do think it's becomming more acceptable for women to cheat.
NoIDidn't Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 So here is an idea for anyone who wants to find a way to spend as much time as possible with their affair partner. Get a divorce. But then it wouldn't be an affair! And they would no longer be an affair partner!! LOL.
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 I don't know that we are more tolerant...but we definately hear about it more. Infidelity has become entertainment. Pick up a magazine and so and so's cheated on so and so. Soaps are riddled with it. Of course in real life, it's not entertaining. It's damaging, hurtful and destructive. I think generally people think they can have it all and more than that, that they DESERVE to have it all. We live in an individualistic society where people genuinely believe that it is THEIR needs and wants that matter most; many people don't like the feel of any kind of tie or responsibility to another because that infringes on THEIR freedom and independence.
Lizzie60 Posted March 22, 2009 Posted March 22, 2009 I think that society has become more tolerant.. we hear so much about it.. that it's become 'standardized'. The Internet sure has made it waaayyy easier for people to cheat. Even for people who didn't intend to cheat.. when it's right at the tip of their fingers.. it's tempting to see what's out there... Internet porn has also made it more tempting... We are now living in a disposable society.. we have to learn to live with it.
GreenEyedLady Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I think that society is more tolerant, in general. I think it's looked down on, but that doesn't stop anyone from doing what they want to do.
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