Lights Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Things just get worse and worse. I don't know whether this wretched environment is becoming worse, or whether whatever skill I've ever had is deteriorating. It's been already bad enough that women don't respond to even a hi or other basic initial phrase or sentence. Now it seems that even a longer-distance, slow-pace-situation thing such as attempting eye contact doesn't even seem to happen. I just get ignored every time. What does one need to do to get even these ridiculously basic things to start happening on a regular basis?
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Things just get worse and worse. I don't know whether this wretched environment is becoming worse, or whether whatever skill I've ever had is deteriorating. It's been already bad enough that women don't respond to even a hi or other basic initial phrase or sentence. Now it seems that even a longer-distance, slow-pace-situation thing such as attempting eye contact doesn't even seem to happen. I just get ignored every time. What does one need to do to get even these ridiculously basic things to start happening on a regular basis? 1. Get in shape. 2. Dress well 3. Good hygiene How many of those 3 do you have? If you have more than 2.... are you really short, or have a fugly face?
lovestruck818 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 1. Get in shape. 2. Dress well 3. Good hygiene How many of those 3 do you have? If you have more than 2.... are you really short, or have a fugly face? Why is there such a negative stigma surrounding being short? Short men are very very sexy!! I think tall men are so gross.
Shygirl15 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Lovestruck my dear, don't think I'm picking on you, but you always seem to say the most ridiculous things I have ever heard in my whole entire life! Short men are sexy to you since you're not an inch over 5'0" but not for everyone! Anyway back to OP, do you smile? I always find it hard not to respond to a warm smile.
Author Lights Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Learn to sing. I'm not sure what you mean; are you saying you meet a lot of women in music-type situations? Anyway back to OP, do you smile? I always find it hard not to respond to a warm smile. I might if I'm feeling happy enough. (Not that often.) It's even tougher when there's less reaction-time available (e.g. moving situation where I only detected her a split second ago); I'm not good at summoning smiles at will.
tanbark813 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 I'm not sure what you mean; are you saying you meet a lot of women in music-type situations? Yes, but what I meant is that's an easy, almost sure-fire way to spark interest.
Author Lights Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Yes, but what I meant is that's an easy, almost sure-fire way to spark interest. Oh ok. Thanks. Is anything more location-universal also recommendable?
stepka Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Lights, if women used to respond and don't now and you're pretty sure that you didn't get shorter by 5 inches or get ugly really fast, then chances are that your confidence is slipping and that you're depressed about the situation. I've noticed that when I'm in a good and confident mood, the world smiles at me, but when I'm depressed or cranky, the world frowns back. Watch your posture during these times b/c that's the first thing to go, and bad posture projects a very unattractive image that screams at least 10 years older. Have you heard the one about "Act as if. . ." and you will be. Pretend that you're happy and pick up your posture and grin like you've got a big secret and my guess is that things will pick up again. (This pep talk is for me too--I've been feeling very unattractive lately--it goes in cycles.)
385 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I've noticed that when I'm in a good and confident mood, the world smiles at me, but when I'm depressed or cranky, the world frowns back. Truest thing ever. When you're confident it feels like everybody is friendly and likes you. When you aren't it feels like everybody is staring at you and making fun of you.
Author Lights Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 Lights, if women used to respond and don't now and you're pretty sure that you didn't get shorter by 5 inches or get ugly really fast, then chances are that your confidence is slipping and that you're depressed about the situation. It's always been the case, though; I've never been able to build any confidence in this area, and I've always been angry and depressed about it. It's just that now it's gotten worse than anything I'd imagined. They didn't respond in the past, but now it's gotten to the point of near-total invisibility. I've noticed that when I'm in a good and confident mood, the world smiles at me, but when I'm depressed or cranky, the world frowns back. Watch your posture during these times b/c that's the first thing to go, and bad posture projects a very unattractive image that screams at least 10 years older. Have you heard the one about "Act as if. . ." and you will be. Pretend that you're happy and pick up your posture and grin like you've got a big secret and my guess is that things will pick up again. (This pep talk is for me too--I've been feeling very unattractive lately--it goes in cycles.) How do I plan this sort of thing ahead of time, though? Even if this is what's going on, I don't really get to plan my moods ahead of time when someone passes by, and I'm rarely able to react in time and try to put on the appearance by the time someone sees me. Truest thing ever. When you're confident it feels like everybody is friendly and likes you. When you aren't it feels like everybody is staring at you and making fun of you. I wish I knew. I've never really been able to build up real confidence in this.
stepka Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 One way I change my mood is to act as if I am in a good mood even if I'm not. That means smile and laugh, even if you have to watch a funny movie every night in order to get in the habit of laughing. Be friendly to everyone, even if they're not attractive or female or close to your age. Children make me happy so I tend to tune into them when I see them. Pick up the posture even when gravity is getting you down. Eye contact. And work out--it's def a mood lifter. Another suggestion--B vitamins are the cheapest chemical way to lift your mood and focus better. And sometimes it's just plain hard, but my guess is that you're not unattractive physically, just tend to be morose and people ignore those who are not twinkling. Women esp are drawn to men with a good sense of humor--it would be less than worthless to only pick up and smile just when you see a pretty lady. This is advice from a formerly morose person so I know what I'm talking about--it's a change that takes time but is worth cultivating b/c loneliness is hell.
Els Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Where are you trying to get such responses? In any cafe or street or such, 50% of the women might be unavailable, 20% might have just been too preoccupied or in a rush to notice you, you might not be 'the right type' to 20%, etc... Honestly, I never knew that it was the norm for flirtatious signals to be returned. When a guy whom I don't know does that for no reason whatsoever when I just happen to walk past him... correct, I ignore him, even when I was available. Then again, all those who tried such methods happened to be of the middle-aged variety who promptly went right on to the next woman behind me... Why not go to someplace (rock-climbing club? book club? I dunno...) where there are people with similar interests to start REAL conversations with?
Shygirl15 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Learn to sing. So assuming he sees a lady walking down the street and feels attracted to her, how would singing help him to spark interest from her at the particular moment?
The Collector Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 1. Get in shape. 2. Dress well 3. Good hygiene Important, but nothing compared to a confident sexual state. OP, watch Swingers and listen to Vince Vaughn.
lovestruck818 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 hate to say it but it's looks all the way. If I meet a guy and he isn't attractive, I wont be at all interested in him. I don't care if he is the nicest, smartest, richest guy in the world. It is looks that build an initial attraction. Personality, though, KEEPS the attraction going.
tanbark813 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 So assuming he sees a lady walking down the street and feels attracted to her, how would singing help him to spark interest from her at the particular moment? It wouldn't. It's situational.
tanbark813 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 So assuming he sees a lady walking down the street and feels attracted to her, how would singing help him to spark interest from her at the particular moment? Actually, now that I think about it, one time while bar hopping with friends we were crossing the street and a girl was crossing in the other direction. She was wearing a skirt and long jacket so I sang an excerpt of Cake's "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" and her and her friend were all smiles. So ha!
pollywag Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Actually, now that I think about it, one time while bar hopping with friends we were crossing the street and a girl was crossing in the other direction. She was wearing a skirt and long jacket so I sang an excerpt of Cake's "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" and her and her friend were all smiles. Yeah but did you get her number? I would laugh at a guy singing too but that's about it for the most part I would think he was foolish.
tanbark813 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Yeah but did you get her number? No, but I also didn't try. Not sure if I could have or not. I would laugh at a guy singing too but that's about it for the most part I would think he was foolish. That's okay, I think religious chicks are foolish.
tanbark813 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 What about religious "dog"ma? I see what you did there.
pollywag Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 That's okay, I think religious chicks are foolish. No number then. What about religious "dog"ma? That's ok you can steal my joke, I don't mind. Note: location on my profile
pollywag Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 The basic level of interest, for me is a well dressed man that smells good and smiles and speaks confidently. If he is in decent shape, has a good face and has the above qualities I just described I am done. A confident man that carries himself with ease that is dressed well trumps a really good looking baby face that can't hold a conversation any day.
pollywag Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I'm right with ya there, Pollywag! Again, meeting of great minds!
Art_Critic Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Any success I had during my single days was all due to humor and showing a woman that she is going to have a fun time with me.. even if at the end of the evening there isn't a romantic connection you can be assured that she had a blast and laughed her ass off to boot.. I have always considered myself a 6.5-7 in the looks department and have never had any trouble dating consistently out of my league or way out of my league.. Almost 100% of that was due to my humor and that fact that they know they are going to have a good time on a date by talking to me and seeing the self confidence and the good time I have myself... The worst feeling you could give a woman is that she isn't going to be blown away on the date and she isn't going to have a fun time.. What woman wants to go out on a date if all they do is talk about the weather and not have any laughs?..none...
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