Knight_Ctrl Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 I give up you guys. Its been since november since she left me and went out with my friend. When I think about WHAT she did im angry, but once that anger fades some it just comes right back down to it....I miss her. God dammit do I wish things could have been different, I know I can't call her and tell her that I still love her but here I am 4 months later, neary half the time we were together. And I still cry about it. I dont want to see her when I close my eyes anymore.
northstar1 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 I give up you guys. Its been since november since she left me and went out with my friend. When I think about WHAT she did im angry, but once that anger fades some it just comes right back down to it....I miss her. God dammit do I wish things could have been different, I know I can't call her and tell her that I still love her but here I am 4 months later, neary half the time we were together. And I still cry about it. I dont want to see her when I close my eyes anymore. I know it's hard man. I've been broken up for nearly a year and still think of my ex each day. What are you doing to keep yourself busy, and occupied?
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 well since i've just been fired I guess I get to occupy myself with finding a job. I've just started taking classes again, and I still play plenty of video games. I've been up since 3 pm yesterday and wanna try and stay up till tonight so I guess being tired has just made me a bit more sensitive than usual....I'm doing better than earlier at least. And now I have stuff to do too.
Goatsbreath Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 hey Knight, we showed up here around the same time I think so I guess time wise I'm around where you are at. Ive been trying to stay away though as I don't want to keep dwelling on things. I have to say Ive been doing a little better. I guess every moment of every day is not used thinking about it. Slowly I have started to hate her and realize she was never that great of person anyways. She was kind of boring and I think there is a lot of great people out there. My worst time is around sleeping I think. I tend to day dream off into sleep, suddenly wake up in complete bewilderment and almost stunned at how she chose to treat me. Like, is this real? See, its not the girl that I was in love with anymore. Shes gone and whats left is someone who is not pleasant for my well being. It's time to stop dwelling on it Knight. Its also not wise to deprive yourself of sleep because you start feeling weak and unsteady in your life. Get some good sleep, start eating better, exercise and focus on a new job, a new girl, and a new life. Don't just wait for a better girl to come along, make yourself better and stop letting her make you less of a person then you really are.
huck Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 This may sound a bit harsh - but theres nothing you can probably do to make her come back. Id she does one day - then cross that bridge at the time At the moment dont let that person destroy your life and feelings. look in the mirror and tell yourself your a fab person - go out there and live your life. Im going through the same thing - but theres no way im gonna let my ex screw me up - shes not worth it. Chin up - try and stay positive !!!!!!!
lonelygurl Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I give up you guys. Its been since november since she left me and went out with my friend. When I think about WHAT she did im angry, but once that anger fades some it just comes right back down to it....I miss her. God dammit do I wish things could have been different, I know I can't call her and tell her that I still love her but here I am 4 months later, neary half the time we were together. And I still cry about it. I dont want to see her when I close my eyes anymore. There is nothing wrong with you. It has been since December for me and I'm not any better. Somedays I think I'm worse. I still cry everyday till I'm nearly sick. Can't stop thinking about him all the time. My counselor told me for many from LTR the six month mark is the worst point. Everyone is different in how long it takes to heal. From what I've read it can take year(s). Try to read about break ups and grieving. Just try to do things when you can to keep busy as much as you can. I know it's hard. As I've mentioned on here before I'm also dealing with severe depression and anxiety problems. So I do know how hard it is. Just keep hoping with time the pain will lessen
tfredro Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I have to say... its kind of comforting to know that people hurt like I do.... It freakin sucks trying to get over someone....
gavinus Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 It does suck trying to get over somebody when they dump you. Remember you were happy before you even knew they existed, you can be happy again...if you let go!! I saw my therapist this week and I told her I was so angry at my ex for treating me with 0 respect and taking her crap out on me, I felt like I was gonna snap. My therapist then said I am angry at the ex that still lives inside of me, once I get that sorted out I can then be happy, you can too, let go....stay strong
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 I've considered what you all said very carefully. I know that holding on to this is only going to make it take longer. Its so hard to get over this though when the second I start to make progress something happens (she calls, I see her and her new guy who was my FRIEND at one time, or I get stuck behind them while im driving). Even when I ignore the call I feel like there are outside forces here that are acting against my will to be over her. I've started working out again and have lost 10 lbs, which has felt great, I've started taking classes to get a certificate for network & PC security and I'm going to start looking for another job very soon. So great I have things I'm doing, still I'm scared. My sisters graduation is coming up, and her and my ex are both graduating, along with this bastard ex friend of mine. And I KNOW that I'm going to run into one or both of them come around that time. I can't just bail like I want to because its my sister.....What the hell am I going to do. Seeing the ex would be painful for obvious reasons and if I see her new man I'm probably going to kick the **** out of him.
gavinus Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 well just because you see them...it doesn't mean you have to interact with them!! I think the right thing to do is take the moral high ground, wish them all that they deserve and walk away. If you show anger, hurt etc then that says to them that they still have control over you. Sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest, but at the end of the night how will you feel about yourself if you let them win?
Excellent Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I've considered what you all said very carefully. I know that holding on to this is only going to make it take longer. Its so hard to get over this though when the second I start to make progress something happens (she calls, I see her and her new guy who was my FRIEND at one time, or I get stuck behind them while im driving). Even when I ignore the call I feel like there are outside forces here that are acting against my will to be over her. I've started working out again and have lost 10 lbs, which has felt great, I've started taking classes to get a certificate for network & PC security and I'm going to start looking for another job very soon. So great I have things I'm doing, still I'm scared. My sisters graduation is coming up, and her and my ex are both graduating, along with this bastard ex friend of mine. And I KNOW that I'm going to run into one or both of them come around that time. I can't just bail like I want to because its my sister.....What the hell am I going to do. Seeing the ex would be painful for obvious reasons and if I see her new man I'm probably going to kick the **** out of him. The best thing you can do if you run into them is to act cool. I know it is going to sting like mad when it happens, but you have to suck it up, because the reward is so much sweeter. When you see them, be happy, wish them all well if you meet them both. Even throw in a funny, non-hurtful comment about her, smile and give your ex-friend a pat on the shoulder. Then you walk away. This is going to show so much higher value on your part, it's going to one-shot the confidence of your ex-friend, and your ex gf is going to start wondering. If you play it right, they lose all their power, and you walk away with it. Showing them, and especially her that you are fine, even better, without her/them will throw them off their little ego-wagon. And that tastes good.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 The best thing you can do if you run into them is to act cool. I know it is going to sting like mad when it happens, but you have to suck it up, because the reward is so much sweeter. When you see them, be happy, wish them all well if you meet them both. Even throw in a funny, non-hurtful comment about her, smile and give your ex-friend a pat on the shoulder. Then you walk away. This is going to show so much higher value on your part, it's going to one-shot the confidence of your ex-friend, and your ex gf is going to start wondering. If you play it right, they lose all their power, and you walk away with it. Showing them, and especially her that you are fine, even better, without her/them will throw them off their little ego-wagon. And that tastes good. This sounds ok, but I feel like if I do this its going to show them that what they've done is ok. And its not its ****ed up. How can I give them the frame of mind that what they've done was the right thing and that I don't hate them for it.
gavinus Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Its not about them now, its about you. Either ignore them (which shows them, your hurt/pissed) which means they think they still have power over you or when you bump into them, just say hello. That will show them that you think they are not even worth thinking about and therefore don't effect you at all. At the end of the night they will talk about how you appeared to each other. Be the 3 C's Cool,Calm,Collected.
Peter_pan Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 This sounds ok, but I feel like if I do this its going to show them that what they've done is ok. And its not its ****ed up. How can I give them the frame of mind that what they've done was the right thing and that I don't hate them for it. i didnt give her the satisfaction of being nice. i let her have it. told her how it is and how she was a rpifpirnfpivnpifnveibruyb3ubr to me she ran off crying. job done.
EmperorR Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Knight we all know how it feels, the anger and then it goes and you miss the person, wondering what if I did this, what if I gave more attention etc. etc., but you can't change the past, but you can change that mindstate.
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