Athena Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I was one of the loons who just never thought we'd get busted. I swear, it never crossed my mind, how dumb is that?! When it did I felt awful, for everyone! He looked and was miserable, the W was miserable and the whole thing just exploded in our faces. I did love the man though. We ended up NC, he broke that after a few weeks.....things then went off and on for 17 months with several more D-days thrown in. I don't know why we kept coming back together, only to be miserable when a D-day came again. Insanity. What did I learn? That people are crazy. We do stupid, irrational things when we KNOW better. That sex/love/lies are powerful suductions and many people do not have the will power/good sense/brains/morals to avoid it. That once emotions are strong it is hard to turn and walk away. I learned I am not as strong an individual mentally as I thought I was. Would I do anything different? That's a hard one. I enjoyed loving that man, he was interesting, funny....had numerous qualities I admired and liked. I loved being around him so no, I wouldn't have changed the fact that I loved him. But I would change the situation if I had the chance. I would have just stayed friends with him, not stepped over that boundary in hindsight. I never intended to hurt anyone. Its understandable that if the A partners still like each other, they inevitably gravitate toward each other again and again... it is indeed best to never allow yourself to cross that boundary in the first place, because after that, its next to impossible to re-draw that line. People on the verge of having an A should be forewarned of all the negative stuff that they WILL go thru in time.... and worse, esp. when the $hit hits the fan and the A is busted. Protect yourself from Day one... life is simpler that way.
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